Open - No Walking Away From This

The bustle of the Hyperloop's station in New Brunswick was a loud and offensive assault on the senses. It had a unique liveliness to it, but while it might have been a part of the comforting music of the cities to its inhabitants it was a blight to an outsider among them.

Sabine was used to the silence of worn trailheads giving way to the soft song of birds or the whisper of wind or the babble of creeks. She was used to the prickle of sunlight on her skin as dirt and rocks ground under her boots with each step. The crackle of leaves replacing it in fall and winter as they fell with the seasons changing. She found comfort in the crush of pine straw beneath a tent's base or a sleeping bag's plush fabric. In her walk of life, the only conversations were those with her fellow hikers and climbers or with herself in the confines of her mind. Once she had hiked with a friend and their dog, a very vocal husky who had 'talked' the whole trail. That? That all was home.

The sound of countless accents, of the jostling of clothes as shoulders bumped into each other or luggage as it was hauled around, the clack or squeak of shoes on floors, and a hundred conversations all happening at once between groups of people or individuals on their phones? Hell. Absolute hell. Sabine flinched as a chime went off suddenly, the intercom above her dissolving into static as it faded, to denote the arrival of the next Hyperloop train. Car. Whatever they called it. The woman sighed to herself irritably and shoved her hands deep in the pockets of her coat. She moved as best she could to take a seat as it slid into the station and the doors opened way. The speed of it replacing standard trains and subways meant the traffic wasn't as bad as it had been in years previous, so her father claimed, but there was still an impressive crush of people with tickets heading along down the line. Sabine had wanted a seat closer to the doors, but they filled up immediately as people moved swiftly around her like a river's torrent. Maybe they would have moved had she asked, had she explained her leg, but admitting she was hobbled was something she couldn't stomach and Sabine didn't do pity. She'd rather keel over.

Instead she ended up toward the middle of the car, content she at least got a seat at all. Some stood. Her father loved to harp on and on about the improvements in the bigger east coast cities with the Hyperloop 2's construction, but some things didn't change apparently. The hour ride on the roads was cut down to around twenty minutes and Sabine might have marveled at whole thing, but honestly? Her hip was beginning to remind her of just how little she was used to having to walk around for extended periods of time. The most she'd done since her last surgery was walk from her house to her father's car and the from his car to her appointments and back. Her father had offered to drive her up himself, but she knew he needed to work. Some project they were working on at one of the factories nearby was eating up a lot of her time and while he would have called in sick or demanded the day off she just couldn't keep doing that to him. Her stomach turned at the thought of how dependent she'd become. There was no helping it, but it didn't make it easier.

When they finally arrived at the station, Sabine hauled herself up with clenched teeth. She caught the eye of another woman on the train, but she was quick to move on about her day. The ability to be so dismissive of each other amazed her after so much time in the west, the south, and anywhere in the company of the more outdoorsy community. Working together was simply what was done. If someone needed help, supplies, or even just company it was a simple coming together and an easy split when all parties were ready. She couldn't begin to count the number of times she had shared a camp with total strangers. Sometimes they never even traded names. Didn't need to. Assholes on the trails and routes didn't last long as people started shunning them and refusing to offer help in return so most she had met had been kind enough regardless of clashing personalities or pasts. The social punishment was fairly good at setting people straight. That and Mother Nature didn't care for your culture, class, or creed. She'd give you hell all the same. Why should they care either?

Regardless, she had somewhere to be and the doors of these things didn't wait for any man, woman, child, or eldritch monstrosity. A quick check of her phone gave her the time, but she still had a while before her appointment and scans. Sabine had time to kill and wandered with the help of the GPS and the sensibly numbered streets in the meantime. There were a lot of storefronts, hotels, corporate buildings, and the like all scattered about and crushed together. The sights, sounds, and scents were quick to become overwhelming and the bone-deep pain in her hip and thigh were growing with every minute she moved along the sidewalks as best she could. People moved too fast here and the stress of keeping up or getting shouldered by was beginning to push her from nervous uncertainty to pained fury. She needed out. At least for a moment's time. It would be entirely unacceptable to break into tears in the middle of New York's sidewalks. Though she honestly wasn't sure if anyone would notice if she did, as wrapped up in their own little worlds as they were. Sabine ducked into a small cafe where a line of people getting orders to-go shuffled to the side and a few scattered tables sat to the other. She collapsed down in a chair shakily and dropped her head into her hands with a sigh.

She glanced at a menu, but her eyes wouldn't focus as she fought not to let her eyes tear up. She was so, so tired of this. She should have been bothered by how much she craved to vanish into Terrasphere as Gwyn. They looked the same, save the small height difference... but Gwyn? Gwyn didn't have to face this kind of enemy. She didn't break under the weight of her injuries, she only grew stronger from them. There magic could heal her ails and throw her back into the field with only a moment's downtime. She wanted to wink at Kyupin and tell her “good luck” before they set their aim on their enemies. Wanted to go exploring new regions or fighting new creatures or taking on new quests. She wanted to have her weapon in hand while she threw a cocky grin at The Admiral as they charged into a fight, to watch hammers and arrows lay low all foes that rose against them.

Sabine hated herself in part for it. Hated herself for needing it so badly in that moment. She ordered a coffee with a four shot of espresso and tried not to want.

 

​

"Hey Jenny, shifts over! Go ahead on home, Alex will take it from here!" Words to Jenny's ears, it was nice that she only worked part-time but the hours sometimes just couldn't be helped. Thankfully, Alex was a new bartender for the Lone Star bar so he picked up the rest of the work whenever Jenny had done enough. Still, didn't exactly meet the kind of wages sometimes that she would've preferred. Which was why she wasn't going home tonight - no, in fact she had another job to go to after this one. It was temporary work but something she needed to help pay bills and afford costs like food for her pet at home and groceries. If she had her way, she would've still been logged in as Baqir on TS, unfortunately life didn't work that way and she didn't get to choose. "Try not to break any glasses, Alex. New people on the job sometimes do and the boss will chew you out for it, believe me." A grin slipped along Jenny's lips after seeing the man shudder in surprise and mental fear for just how bad the boss got when he yells.

Jenny made her way towards the back exit, brushing a few fingers through one of her long side-bangs since her hair was tied back into two twin tails leaving two long front pieces to move about as she walked. Grasping her coat, she moved her hand down into the pocket and fished out a packet of cigarettes, pulling one out from the box between her lips and sliding the pack back in the pocket. It was a bad habit, anyone could tell you that but she couldn't help but enjoy how it relieved some of the daily stress - her boss had tried a couple times to get her onto that damn nicotine gum but it just wasn't the same. A lighter drawn from her pants pocket and she lights the cigarette's end, taking in a slow drag before she opens the back-door and steps out into the city, breathing out a puff of smoke as she does.

Footsteps clicked out as her heels tapped against the ground and she pulled her coat around her shoulders, enjoying the warmth it provided to her body during this season. As she walked down the street towards her workplace she began to think back on recent events with Baqir. It was an odd encounter but definitely one worth remembering - being new still she didn't think much of beginner's mistakes but she'd definitely work towards the grind one way or another. Jenny's second job was at the very same Cafe that Sabine would eventually come to enter inside, with the former only arriving a couple minutes ahead of the other. She lingers outside the cafe for a couple minutes, using that time to just lean back and enjoy her cigarette before her gaze settled onto the bustling crowd of people that came down along the busy streets now and then. So many faces and so little she knew about them, how many were already a part of TS and how many were still blissfully ignorant to it's existence?

This wasn't the time to get all philosophical however, she dropped her cigarette and stepped it out, picking up the bud and flicking it into one of the street trash-cans for proper disposal. Hey, she might've had a bad habit but she wasn't a some kind of dangerous criminal to nature. As she began to head inside, she was greeted by a few of the other staff members who'd begun to tell her what the job would have her doing and what that she'd essentially start working as a waitress for the place to get the orders of seated customers. It was simple and she'd likely only be paid a couple bucks an hour to do that kind of work but getting some money was still better than nothing and she knew that better than anybody.

Jenny had a couple more minutes though before her shift started, she noticed the girl known as Sabine stride inside, almost desperate for just a place to sit and relax. Thinking to herself for a bit, she wondered just what was going on inside of that mind - until she saw the other put those hands to her face. A sigh slips along her lips, Jenny gazing back towards the barista and then walked towards the table to give the other female a short greeting. Her shift wasn't started yet but she'd speak up towards Sabine after attempting to get her attention. She wasn't in her formal work clothes and still had her jacket on but that was her choice.

​

"What can I get for ya?" She'd take note of the coffee with a four shot of espresso and turned back towards the barista, her coat moving some as she did, a walk over towards him and he spoke towards him once he'd finished with one of the other customer orders. It was a relatively short conversation and she pulled out her wallet and seemed to pay for the drink in full before coming back over to the seat Sabine was at and settled down across from her, placing the cup of coffee onto Sabine's side of the table as Jenny spoke; "Mind if I sit here with you until my shift starts? Don't worry about your drink either, I already paid for it for you." She wasn't going for pity even if that might've seemed what was happening here. She was going to be using a give and take out of this, settling what questions she had on her mind in exchange for having bought the other's drink. "What's tearing you up? You look distraught over something, could tell soon as you shuffled in past the doors."

 

Sabine gave her order on autopilot, barely lifting her head from her hands as she spoke. It was incredibly rude of her, but then again the people up north seemed rather disinterested in manners. The first time she had tried to exchange small talk with a worker at a register they had given her a look like she'd spit in their face. Apparently it was 'polite' to get shit done and get gone to most. Something about wasting everyone's time. She couldn't drag up enough emotion to really care what with her chest feeling like a hundred hooks were biting in and pulling down, down, down. She'd make sure to tip the barista or waitress or whatever well for being rude. Sabine could do that much.

When the woman who had left with her order came back sooner than expected, the gears in her mind clicked together payment being an issue. She hadn't take any money with her. It would make sense if she had ordered food, but for a drink? You went ahead and paid and Sabine forced herself to sit straight and dig a hand into her pocket as the woman spoke. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I completely forg-" she cut herself off to look up with a furrowed brow. Paid for it? "No, I'm sorry I can pay. I'm just a space case today, you don't need to do that. Here," the tall blonde finally grabbed the corner of a folded stack of bills to pull them free. She wasn't in the habit of using cards and it only amounted to forty and some change in the event she needed food or transportation. It was fine, it was a coffee and she could easily pay for it. Maybe if she hadn't been existing in a fever dream of a funk the poor woman wouldn't have felt like she needed to do any such thing.

She held out a few dollar bills while her company started asking about her emotional state. Perfect. Knew she was a mess and paid for her coffee. Knew she was a mess and wanted to play therapist. Next thing she knew the woman would be offering her her coat or a drive home, just because Sabine's luck with being an abysmal burden and weight on the people around her was only growing greater with time. Her father didn't care for her talk, her physical therapist and his associates even less so. Sabine didn't care. It didn't make it any less true. She was so tired of not being able to haul her own weight, metaphorically or physically for that matter. The strange woman didn't look her in the eyes with any amount of pity, but there was only so much coddling she could stomach before she hated herself that much more. There was a time when such a thought had never crossed her mind.

"You're welcome to sit, but really, here," she dropped the bills on the table and pulled her hand away with a stubborn set to her shoulders. "It's really kind of you, but I don't need the charity. Or a gift. Certainly not my birthday or any kind of holiday. And I know New York likes the Mafia thing, but loans aren't for me either."

Sabine leaned back in her chair, arms instinctively crossing in front of her without conscious thought. As if that would protect her. "I haven't paid for that coffee or a therapy session. Why do you want to know?" From what she had seen since leaving her odd community that spanned the ranges and routes of the world for a forced hopefully-probably-maybe-temporary retirement, people didn't just... ask. They deflected, they avoided, they denied. No one wanted to get bogged down in someone else's woes. Why would some stranger give a rat's ass?

 

Jenny wasn't bothered by the fact that she got the order from the other woman and paid for it, it's not like coffee costed that much and she was coming here to start her shift soon anyway, she'd make up whatever cash she'd lose from one cup of four-shot espresso, she wasn't Baqir - wasn't that level of poor that needed to careful planning ahead to grind one's nails into the cliff-side towards financial stability or advancement. She could tell today was being especially rough on this person, it wasn't pity but the ability to relate living in one's own hellish nightmare without a thread to give some semblance of respite.

Soon after she'd arrived with the drink in hand and pressed onto the table, the woman snapped out of her auto-piloting and realized the situation at hand. Jenny watched as she began fumbling a hand to fish out her own money to make up for the payment Jenny had made on her behalf. "Space-case or not, don't worry about it. I already paid for it and I don't need you to pay me. I'm about to work my shift here anyway so I can make back what I spent, it's no trouble." Even still she watched as the other pulled out a stack of folded bills, hard cash kept on hand and that was being offered over in a few bills. It just made Jenny ease back into her seat some letting out a slow breath as she messed around with the lighter in her jacket pocket, not clicking it but just running her fingers over the sides.

"Keep your money for yourself really," Jenny eased her fingers against the bills and slid them carefully back over towards Sabine's side of the table. "It's not a gift, it's not charity and if I was part of the mafia I don't think I'd be coming here for work. Though that'd probably be a pretty interesting life to live, not gonna lie to you." She smiled some, sifting her right hand up to rub at the side of her head and rest the arm's elbow against the table.

Jenny began to realize more as time went on just how familiar this woman was but it hadn't dawned on her yet, but it would and likely in a minute here. "I'm no therapist, I'd probably suck at that job - most I can do is talk to people through their daily grinds when they come to the bar I work most my time at whenever I'm not gaming or drinking at home." If she was being honest with herself, a nice long island iced tea would've hit the spot if she were back at her home with her pet in her lap and something decent on the television. Instead she was sitting here with a stranger and trying to see what was being rough on them.

"I mainly ask because I'm curious, bad habit but can't be helped when you've seen the look on another person's face a couple times and it reminds you of how you used to be. Felt like I'd see myself in your shoes sitting at this table here and trying to drown out the rest of the world in coffee and solitude." Now she was getting therapist-like, so she cut that off real quick. "Ignore the last bit, I'm sounding like a psych or something close to one." She raises her hand over to the staff and made a motion of two fingers, they seemed to have something of a regular blend in mind for her so they just went ahead and put it on their list of orders.

Jenny looked back towards Sabine and really seemed to narrow her eyes for a few moments before she ran a hand over her own face and sighed, slumping her head down onto the table. "Now I know why you looked so familiar, ugh it was staring me right in the face this whole time." With a slight lean forwards towards the other girl she whispered to her, not in some attempt of doing it out of the blue but more-so to keep TS a secret as it was already. "I may not look like him but we've met before when I was Baqir. You let me tag along with you." She leaned back down and sat her back up against her seat. "Hnngh, feels kind of embarrassing knowing that you and Gwyn look so alike while I chose a completely different appearance entirely." Her cheeks actually reddened and she was clearly flustered at the fact that she'd chosen to be the opposite sex when she was a girl. "Guess I didn't want others badgering me or something due to my looks or whatever reason I thought of at the time."

When the barista sent one of the other waitresses on duty to bring over her coffee she tried to perk herself back up as to not make the waitress concerned unnecessarily. "Thanks, tell him I'll pay it up when I get over to the counter again." The woman nodded and went back to deliver the message, some of the crowd that were lined up had begun to thin and only a few ever seemed to stay in the booths or tables available. So for now she could focus on her coffee and conversation with Sabine. "Sorry, about all this - guess I'm also kind of shambling around today, working two jobs isn't what I'm used to. I'd be logged in by now if I didn't want to be able to pay my bills in advance for the next couple months." Jenny brought her coffee up to her lips, taking in the scent of the vanilla inside of the brew before actually dipping the cup along to drink from it.

 

The muscles in her jaw flexed as she scowled half-heartedly at the stranger. She refused the money and at this point it was boiling down to the principal of the thing. Were she someone bothered by drawing looks, maybe she would have just taken it back and quieted down about it. She wasn't. She left it there stubbornly on the table. As far as she was concerned either her patron would take it or one of the other workers would.

As resolute as she was playing at being, she couldn't help the twitch in her cheek as she fought off an amused smile at the idea of being mafia. The movies and shows she'd caught had always made the high octane life seem appealing. Sabine hadn't been one for guns, booze, or- well, no, she was definitely for women. That? That her and the suits could agree on. It was only good and sensible taste in that respect. However, crime wasn't her style even if it apparently reeled in some very lovely ladies. Hard to pick up chicks when you're two hundred feet above a basin hanging by six fingers and the toes of your boots. It was a worthy sacrifice for the climb.

Her companion spoke of her job, her reasons, and the like as Sabine sat stiffly across the way. "I hear the pay's decent. If you sound like one, you should charge. Probably better than bar or cafe tips." She finally spoke as the dark haired woman gestured to her coworkers. "But I get it," Sabine huffed to herself. Her irritance was directed more toward herself that her company at least. The memory of trying to comfort Kyupin in Stokbon flitted by with another blow to her mood. That had been heavy. It had been awful. She'd not slept well that week, nightmares of losing her arms or her legs or her movement at all coming and going. Terrasphere had a peculiar way of drawing the beaten and the broken. Or maybe it made them?

She looked up to meet her eyes as the other turned and before a word passed her lips the connection was made. Her sigh and drop to her hands had Sabine reeling between concern and offense, as if she had done something to grieve the woman so suddenly. Once she started speaking, however, that cleared up quick enough. Sabine blinked dumbly at her for a moment before she suddenly leaned her head back to bark out a laugh. It was short, but honest enough. Her expression fell back into a negative set, but the weight on her shoulders felt just a bit lessened by the odd situation. So it threw her off her game a little? It was only fair. It wasn't often you met the female puppeteer of a grown man.

"Hey, this is a judgement free zone, Baqir." Sabine relaxed into the back of her chair and the crossing of her arms started to look less protective and far more smug. "If you want to try what it's like on the other side of the fence and swung that way? Who am I to go questioning?" She bit back another laugh and instead reached out to accept her coffee and enjoy the first sip of heat and awful bite. A four shot was a bit much. Once you started asking for six people started looking at you like a recovering crackhead. "But in all seriousness, it's fine. Lots of people do it apparently? I just... I don't know how to be anyone but myself. Never played something like this. Never played anything but sports to be frank. The idea of being someone else is just odd. Even if I use a different name, Gwyn's still me." Though sometimes she wondered which was the real blood and bone one. Which of them was the flesh and the mind in truth. Maybe they both were? She cut her thoughts off where they had wandered and allowed them no further heading.

"That reminds me though. You've met Gwyn, but I'm Sabine. Sabine Bertrand," she offered with a far more welcoming tone than her initial deadened drawl. She also offered a hand, the grip just as strong as the one in game. Even if her leg had her hobbled, Sabine still kept up with what exercises and strength training she could. It didn't amount to much when she could slip into Gwyn's skin and be back to her top shape. It was enough though. It had to be. The woman, Not-Baqir, apologized and Sabine lifted a hand to wave dismissively. "It's fine, it really is. I get being tired. Not the working two jobs thing, but certainly being tired. And wanting to be... not here. It's just so much easier there, huh?" Her smile turned about as bitter as the coffee, she liked to imagine. "For all the death and danger? It's so much easier to just be there. To be anything but... this? To be here? I don't- ugh, this is fucked."