Open - I Am Not a Fishmonger

"I GOT FISH PARTS FOR SALE! NO WHOLE FISH, ONLY PARTS AND CHUNKS. FISH BONES FOR NEEDLEWORK FISH EYES FOR.... POTIONS... FISH HEAD FOR STEW!

I wonder if any idiot will actually buy any of this crap.

Backfire had just returned to town after an experiment with "explosion fishing" and a lengthy conversation with a necromancer and another adventurer by the river. She wasn't sure if anyone in this world could actually use of any of these fish parts, but opening a makeshift pop-up shop could also serve to let others know she was taking explosion jobs. To be honest, She wasn't sure if this plan would actually work. I mean, how many people who buy fish also just happen to need the talents of a demolitionist? Granted, as far as she knew she was the only demolitionist in this world so she probably had a monopoly. Sure, there were probably plenty of people that could probably shoot a laser beam at a wall or building and blow it to hell, but that's not demolition. Well, yeah it kind of is, but it's not elegant. A good demolition job shouldn't just be spectacular, there's a precision to it. The way the building topples or implodes not harming the adjacent building. Or how a building could be damaged at the foundation to cause it to ram into the building next to it. It was the physics of the thing.

Backfire eyed her surroundings to try and see if she could make eye contact with anyone. Selling things is a lot more effective when you can single someone out.

Though it's not like vaporizing a town with a laser is a bad thing. I mean, that's got merit in its own right. All of a sudden, 'poof' the village is gone. If that's what you're after, that's great. Sometimes you want the rubble there to send a message though. Let them know that someone did this on purpose. Yep, there's definitely an intricacy to this whole explosion bizzz... when the hell is someone going to come up and buy some of these damn fish parts? Next jackass that walks past I'm singling them out.

Just then, Backfire noticed someone out of the corner of her eye. She quickly turned.

"OI! YEAH, YOU! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME FISH PARTS!"

 

Eileen's brows rose into her hairline, pointing at herself. She looked around at the busy crowd steadfastly ignoring the woman and had half a mind to do the same.

The booth stank of decayed sealife and the woman had the wildest look in their eyes. The average sane person would take a deep breath (through their mouth, lest they catch a whiff of that) and then walk away.

Luckily for Backfire, Eileen was hardly sane, much less average.

She approached with a grin, which quickly morphed into a tight grimace. The closer she got, the worse the smell became. With tears in her eyes, Eileen spoke.

"I'm not sure when immense beauty became synonymous with needing fish parts, but I've gotta know, has this fishy business of yours actually netted you something?"

She held her elbow in front of her face, brows furrowing.

"Maybe if we stuffed you in a bikini and put a little more aquatic themes, you'd catch an interested eye or two. Sex sells, and all that."

She hummed and squinted at the contents of the booth. No wonder it smelled like decay and salty sea mated and had hellspawn. The things for sale were... less than desirable.

"Speaking of sell, where'd you even find all," she gestured widely at the assortment of fish bones —and eyes, and heads, and why would you ever buy just fish guts?— "... that?"

 

Finally, a customer. Jesus, this would have been embarrassing if no one showed up. Is she hitting on me? I'm not really into game people... who knows who the hell is actually behind the character, and even more so, I don't need anyone trying bridge this world with the real one. Hell, what are they going to do? Ask me out in real life. To hell with that. Well whatever, business is business. But, she better be taking some of these goddamn fish parts with her...

Backfire let out a salesperson's grin and winked.

"It netted me your attention didn't it? Who needs a bikini when you're selling such fine fish parts. You know, fish parts are actually a universal product. Sure, the smell is strong but that's how you know it's fresh. See these fishbones, perfect for grade A sewing needles. You could sew some solid boat sails with one of these. What else... fish eyes, great base for potions. Not much of a alchemist myself but I've heard things. Any of this could also be used for chum, go shark catching or use the meat to try and catch even bigger fish. Like I said, fish parts are universal. They can do anything. I bet they'd even take pretty good in a stew with some greens to ease up the fish smell. Besides, all of this is fresh. I invented a new fishing technique which obviously worked.

Backfire nodded down at her haul, then crossed her arms confidently.

By the way, the name's Backfire. I'd shake your hand, but mine... well... they smell like fish. HAHAHA! I'm also in the demolition business. Need walls, buildings, or people exploded? Maybe we can work something out. None of that is free of course, but I'm willing to make a deal... Now, how many pounds you looking to buy?"

 

Eileen could easily connect the dots. Demolition business? Tattered fish bits? She'd dozed off halfway through the eccentric chatter, but some of the words had still slipped through to her. Cleaning out her ear with a pinky, Eileen blinked tiredly at Backfire.

"So you blew up a bunch of fish," she concluded. Not her place to judge. "Whatever works, works."

She was, needless to say, completely unconvinced by the salesperson act. "Whoa there, honey buns!" Eileen tilted her head and peered at the enthusiastic lady with a snort. "I thoughts you would be paying me to take this junk off your hands. Though I guess with the way sales are going, that'd be impossible for you."

Eileen was quick to take a step back just in case the other lashed out. Magic was very real and dangerous in this world, and if it wasn't a spell that would kill her, she knew just how well a dagger to the guts would do.

"I'll offer you another deal, though. Y'see, I've never seen a man blown to smithereens. I'll pay you a pretty coin or three to let me watch. Conditions: no blowing me up, the victim may not have a pretty face, and that explosion better be fucking spectacular.

So. What d'ya say? Deal?"

 

Well isn’t this new, someone actually wants someone else taken out. But... I don't like the way she's going about it. Random slaughter isn't my style. Not to mention there's a war coming and the last thing I need at the moment is to make enemies with some Superman, "mete out justice" type that thinks I'm working for the enemy.

"So, let me get this straight. I get to pick the mark, you just want to see the show? What’s in it for you? Seems like you’ve got nothing to gain other than seeing someone get blown to hell. I mean, here I am thinking, 'Who knows, maybe she's just sadistic', then again, maybe there’s something more."

She’s like the exact type of person I want to blow up. Man… I might even be willing to pay someone to LET ME blow her up. I hate these manipulative types.

"One thing I know for sure though, I don't need dirt on my reputation."

Backfire started looking around her makeshift stall to see if should could catch anyone eyeing their her and Eileen. She lowered her voice while continuing.

"...And let's be honest, who knows what kind of trouble you could be trying to pull me into. How do I know I'm not walking into a trap? How do I know that you really just want to see someone get blown up, and you're not trying to manipulate who gets exploded? Wouldn't be hard to do. I set up a place and you tell someone to meet you there without my knowing. They get there before whomever I bring and boom, I just knocked off someone you wanted gone without my knowing any better.

Backfire picks up a fish spine with he head still attached and points it at Eileen with a scowl.

Personally, I don't like the idea of people trying to manipulate me, actually, maybe I just don't like manipulative people in the first place. NO idea why, but people like that tend to get on my bad side, which typically lead to them mysteriously getting torched. Not that I would condone that course of action mind you. but it would almost be as if they had it coming or something.

Backfire showed Eileen a jackal's smile.

"This whole deal... sounds fishy."

 

Eileen's brows rose higher and higher into her hairline as Backfire prattled on and on about... what, manipulation? Words went in one way and out the other.

"Wow, and here I thought I was a paranoid bitch!"

Huh. Had she said that aloud? The thought had been a lot clearer than most of her other ones. Oh well - if Backfire was bothered about it, she could do something about it. A little fighting never hurt anybody! Except for the dead and brutally mauled, of course. Eileen held her hands up in a half-placative manner, matching the jackal's smile with a Cheshire grin of her own.

"There, there. Take a deep breath and calm down. Your reputation as a trigger-happy fish exploder can hardly get any worse, can it? Honestly, I don't really care who it is, where it is, or when it happens. I'm just curious how it looks. Call it sadism, call it curiosity, whatever."

Eileen weighed the pouch of coins in her pocket, revealing it to the other woman. It at least looked like a hefty amount.

"But if you don't want to take the deal, no chip off my shoulder. Just thought I'd offer a helping hand to a struggling entrepreneur. But clearly,"

She gestured with a grand, sweeping motion towards the crowd giving the booth a wide berth. Astorea was hardly home to the noble stuck-up pricks of Falderen but even these people would do their best to ignore the stall. Whether it was because of the stink or the wild lady manning it, who was to say?

"... you've got a handle on that."

 

"I'll call it how I see it, bad business. I like some mayhem, but blowing up some random people? I'm no serial killer. It takes a sick mind to pull some shit like that. Sure, maybe an adventurer hits it and gets blown away, comes right back hunky-dory, maybe a bit pit pissed off but no worse-for-wear. But now I've got heat on me, especially with this whole invading army coming. If it's an enemy solider, well he knew what he was getting into even if he doesn't come back. That being said, I'm not going to bomb a damn farmer or shop owner because some asshole is bored one afternoon."

If she wants a fight... no way in hell I'm backing down. Even if she's stronger than me, doesn't matter. I die, I'll come back and keep coming. A fight doesn't end until I say it does, and thankfully, I've got some tenacity. I don't even care if I have to fight dirty; mines at her usual hangouts, bars, around people she knows, places she walks. She wants to go to war, well that's just my game. She wants to see some people get hurt? I'll make it her friends.

Backfire readied herself.

"Here's one thing I definitely have a handle on, tramp. I don't take life without a reason. If you do, I think it's best you get the hell out of my face before you start having to watch where you walk."

 

Eileen huffed and took a step back. Being threatened was hardly her idea of fun, and the miss seemed insistent on doing just that. Way to make her seem like the bad guy, 'mirite?

"No need to get your jimmies all rustled, buddy," she said with a snort.

What was it with people getting into big ol' hissy fits over the NPCs? Sure, kill a player and they come back for more. But if you kill a random NPC, what are they gonna do. Haunt you? They were dead. That's what games were about – having fun and experiencing stuff you can't in real life. But everybody seemed to insist on being a god damn goody two shoes.

What's the fun in that?

"Look, I can tell it must be that time, so I'll back off. But if you find yourself with a 'worthy' target or whatever it is that's making you so bitchy about my request, feel free to call me over and I'll pay for a show. Can't a girl be curious? Jesus Christ."

She pocketed the pouch of coins.

"Until then, have fun trying to get customers. Remember, a smile works wonders!"

Eileen wiggled her fingers in a 'ta-ta' gesture and backed into the crowd, quickly disappearing into it despite her more eccentric appearance. Perhaps somebody else would come around to entertain Backfire, but it certainly wouldn't be her.

[ EXIT THREAD ]​

 

As Eileen left, Backfire eased up.

In a game this advanced who's to say what these NPC characters are built from. How far can an A.I. go before it becomes human?

Backfire sighed to herself. All of these questions were interesting to her. Behind the trigger happier saleswoman, there was still a scientist with a lot of questions regarding the world. She knew this was some sort of simulation type game, but how real is too real? The idea of killing an innocent NPC had bothered her. She thought of them as this world's inhabitants. It made sense, after all, she wanted them to know her as Backfire the demolitionist, why wouldn't she reciprocate by thinking of them as people instead of just a bunch of programmed computer code. All humans really are is a pattern of chemicals that make up some DNA anyway. All people have their programming, regardless if they're biological or digital.

I guess what it boils down to is that like the people in the real world, I think of NPCs as people, which includes all the good and the bad.

This sort of retrospection was rare for Backfire, and she quickly shook the thoughts from her head. Leave the inquiry to the real world, she thought to herself. She was here for explosive, hellraising fun. It just... needed to be directed at the right targets. Something like bandits, or murderers, or buildings. She scratched her head, I'm probably just going to need to go through a case by case basis with this demolition business, I guess. Don't want anyone to think I'm crazy after all. Anyway, back to work.

"FISH PARTS! GET YOUR FISH PARTS! USED FOR A VARIETY OF PURPOSES! FISH BONES FOR NEEDLES! FISH SCALES FOR JEWELRY! PARTS FOR FOOD! SOUPS! POTIONS! FISH OIL MAKES YOUR SKIN GLISTEN LADIES! FISH PARTS, GRADE A FISH PARTS SOLD HERE!"

 

"----I'm not interested in fish, but perhaps you would be interested in demolishing....a most dangerous game...?"

Moony roller-skated up without a care in the world.

"--------------"

Moony held her hands up in mock surrender, "Twas a joke. Hello Backfire, it has been some time, still up to your usual hi-jinks I see."

Moony smiled, "You know it is.... nice to hear a familiar voice in this otherwise bumpkin village. I had taken it upon myself to explore the area----a tour of one if you will, but it has been so very painfully disappointing. How is business?"

 

"Well if it isn't Moon! A most dangerous game? Hah, I already had some crazy chick come over asking me to kill someone. The hell is that right? Whatever, I think you can afford a few small pieces of fish! I'll even cut you a deal!"

Backfire noticed as Moonbunny glided around in front of her.

"Are those roller skates? Where the hell did you get those? I didn't even know those existed here? Well, anyway, business is pretty awful. Then again, I didn't expect much selling exploded fish! HAHAHA! I'll probably pack up here. I don't know crap about this town honestly, other than that there doesn't seem to be much of a market for fish parts..."

 

Moony looked at the fish and grimaced. She quickly attempted to change the subject....

"My, so someone asked you to commit murder in broad daylight? Just what sort of nasty place is this...?"

Looking around, the girl saw a picturesque landscape which could probably match the best of the pastoral paintings. The village town was simple, quaint, and frankly quite beautiful. But, just like a painting, there really wasn't a lot of things to do with it aside from stare. At least, if one didn't want to mess it up. Moony sighed.

"Oh! Yes, they are indeed. I thought it would be fun to make attachable wheels for my shoes and lo-and behold, it actually worked... odd isn't it? Have these sorts of video games always been so malleable? Regardless I'd be happy to make you a pair if you'd like. No charge, I just think it would be rather quaint to see you gliding around like some sort of college-girl in the 1950's..."

Moony chuckled.

"But I digress. I must confess it's a bit of a relief to know that I am not the only one facing issues of approachability with the natives. The people----the non players I mean----act real enough. Perhaps too real. Even at this very moment their stares are beginning to try my nerves... If people are not taking the bait, so-to-speak- then perhaps you might try to mill it and sell it as premium pet food in the player city? Players are lovely besotten fools for their mini pets. It would simply be a matter of making the product more acceptable to the less rugged human eye."


Perhaps Moony hadn't been getting enough attention lately. Looking slightly smug, she was happily chatting at cross purposes without any real regards to a topic.

 

"Hmmm...the country of Astorea, the country of players. I wonder if I find something interesting here."

Bradwynne issued a sigh as he uttered those words as he entered the first village he saw within the environs of Astorea. He had wandered within Falderen for a while: eating in some pub, sleeping in some inn, sometimes doing common work and going on hunting trips. As he learned, the game Terrasphere was set in around the 11th century or maybe even the late Renaissance period, as there was much contrast between the city of Stokbon with its refined atmosphere and the simple medieval living of the villages. He then thought about the other players and their mode of living, especially the higher-tier people in the city of Dormont, the nobility of the player-king of Astorea. What do they do besides questing? What do they eat? Are their mode of living much better than the NPCs that are living in their villages? Is the city of Dormont more majestic compared to Stokbon, the capital of Falderen? All those questions popped in Bradwynne's mind as he scanned the village while he walked along its main road.

His cursory scan of the village somewhat disappointed him. Like the villages of Falderen, this village of Astorea was quite rustic in atmosphere. Although he could attribute it to the innumerable number of NPCs that almost could not be surpassed by players, still he found himself quite disappointed in what he saw. He then sighed, thinking that the players should have made the surroundings more inviting to other players, but it could not be helped that most of them chose to blend within the atmosphere than make innovations about the surroundings, and so he thought to turn himself in here for the eventual log-out. Maybe the main city would have more amenities than this village, and so he thought to travel to there once he would log-in again. Maybe the surprise was there. Hopefully he would not be disappointed.

He then went to the marketplace of the village, and as he thought, the place was filled with numerous people, players and NPCs alike. The good thing about this VRMMORPG was that at least someone can converse with an NPC, which, although quite limited as to their conversational value, it was as if someone was talking to a real person of the medieval or Renaissance period. Mostly some players could be seen struggling to talk to an NPC, and so it would be ideal to have at least a grasp on how people of the period talk. That was his main purpose why he was always choosing to stay in villages or cities for at least a day before moving on to other places, to at least know the lifestyle of the NPCs so that he would never be awkward on dealing with them.

As he was looking for a good place to eat, or a good place to buy something that could be cooked within the inn where he could be staying for this session, he saw a peculiar stall that was selling fish. Or bits and pieces of fish for that matter. As he moved nearer towards the place, a familiar stench entered his nose, something that stinks but bearable, Kieran having frequented the Italian Market in Philadelphia for quite some time. He then stared at the mangled pieces of fish, not one being whole, a hodgepodge of pieces of small and big fish, and then at the person selling it, and then at the bits and pieces of fish again. He knew by this overwhelming display that the owner of the stall, a female with long brown hair, was a player, and someone not normal at that. He then picked up a tail part of something that looked like a carp should it was a complete fish, then looked at it, and then at the woman again, and then at the tail again. He then uttered the first thought that passed through his mind as he saw the stall.

"Well I should hope that no member of animal rights groups was playing this game, or else, if he or she saw this stall, you might begin to be chased by that person left and right," he said, still staring at the mangled tail part of the fish, obviously referring to the owner of the stall, which he sure thought was also a player here.

 

"Yeah, I don't know. Thought this was a nice town but apparently people just murder each other willy-nilly. Crazy right?"

Backfire looked down at the roller shoes.

"I'm not going to say I wouldn't like a pair. I am going to ask how many times you've fallen? I mean, how safe are they? No offense, but... yeah, how safe are they? Anyway, you're probably right about the clientele. I don't think much is biting in this area, pun intended. I'll start pack--"

Holy ass shovels, is someone actually walking over to the stall to buy something?

Dumbstruck, Backfire watched as the person picked through her wares. The person said something about animal rights groups being angry, but honestly, Backfire was so in awe that she only caught part of it. She quickly snapped out of it.

"HAH! I feel like if someone had a problem with eating animals in this world they would die. If they tried chasing me off, well, they would also probably end up dead. But that's neither here nor there customer! The name's Backfire full-time demolitionist, part-time purveyor of fine products such as these. Have I told you how great a snack these fish parts make? Why, watch this!"

Backfire lit the tip of her finger, picked the most decent looking fish part, roasted it, then threw it into her mouth. She winked at Moon as if to say, "look a sale!" As the taste hit her, Backfire almost grimaced but forced a smile as she chewed, and then finally swallowed.

"See? What did I tell ya? Delicious and nutritious! Taste takes a bit of getting used to, but as long as you have some of these babies in your pocket, you'll never be hungry. Fish parts is a food for us rough and tumble types. Fancy dinners and meals? Who has time for that? We're adventurers! We eat what we can while on the go! I'll even tell you what, since you're my first customer today I'm willing to deal. You tell me an honest price, we haggle a bit, then you walk out of here with a great deal on some of the best fish parts this town has ever seen. Now, what do you say to that?"

@Bradwynne