Quest - THE GREAT CARBUNCLE

The flavor of a Hero came in many forms and their own rights. Some managed to band together like-minded individuals to fight against world hunger. Others were too busy breaking a fair maidens heart every other week as they put another trophy of a dragon-head on their wall. Seigi, on the other hand, was the masked kind of hero without a mask. The kind of Hero who didn't heed to a higher calling like Tyr. She believed what was right and did what was right.

Today, however, Seigi wasn't supposed to be a super hero. No, today marked the beginning of another heroic career. The kind of crime-solving hero who used their superior wits and analytical skills. The kind that was more 'classy' rather than balls to the walls. "The kind of Hero that could wear a Suit all day long without justifying it! Damn I look good!" Even as a teenager, women in suits had their very own class of style. All that was left was... "Perfect!" A monocle and. "Ewh, soapy!" A bubble pipe!

Now Seigi was looking like a criminal solving crime-detective that was solving crimes!

"Fufufufu.... BEHOLD! For I am Seigi Ling Ling, the HEROIC HERO OF JUST-... wait, no... " She was supposed to be a drug-addict and a cult-leader, too, no? At least if she were to take the main-role. Drugs... Drugs... Drugs... Soap...bubbles?! That was kinda tame but... well maybe she'd get a better idea in the 20 or so minutes before the play was about to start. She wondered if heroism counted as a drug too.

As for the Cult, that was rather easy, obviously it was a Cult about Sei- Sherdock, Bones and herself! Being a lead-role meant having your very own fan-club after all even if it meant yourself being the only member!

The only problem was that there were other people supposed to come. Otherwise, this would be a solo-play one way or another.

At the very least the NPCs here were simply awesome. While it was sure creepy they could read your mind - though Seigi did sign a contract allowing them to do so - they were quite literally capable of fulfilling any of your hearts desire!

For now, however, Seigi had to wait which meant she had at least a few minutes left to actually exercise for her role. Goshthiswassoexcitingbeinginfrontofsomanypeople. Shaking her head the young Hero continued speaking to herself. "You can do it Seigi! You're a heroic Hero! In act and real! This is gonna be a BLAST!"

Clearing her throat the girl, who claimed the main-role, tried once again. "BEHOLD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. For I am Sherdock Bones. Lover of zombie-kittens and bubbles. Detective Extraordinaire. Hero of the Undead! Friend of the Deceased!" Yeah, this couldn't be so hard, right? Maybe they had an actual zombify spell? Did she have to behave like one? Smell like one? Ewh. Though, she could already feel the masses outside... .

@Cain Darlite @Lyre (Whichever char is joining)

 

Arine Deadler, huh? With all the fun roles taken, it looked like it was up to Cain to act as the love interest of the gallant Sherdock Bones. Seriously, who came up with these things? Undead Sherlock Holmes, where the male roles are replaced by female ones and where they were given no time at all for a rehearsal? Geez, the midnight-haired muse really couldn’t help but shake his head as he approached the venue in his usual gallant affair. This was going to be one hot mess, even if everyone there was a ‘professional’ actor. This would probably be more than a little embarrassing. Maybe he’ll even look back at this and cringe at the folly of his youth!

But Cain really liked the look in Lachlan Faye’s eyes, the way it glittered passionately and explosively as unreasonable demands rolled off the theatrical fashionista’s tongue, and by the time everything was done, they had shook on it. This was going to be hard. But godDAMN, he was gonna get super, duper, mega, ultra fired up and do his absolute best!

With the confidence of a true man, Cain Darlite jostled his way stylishly through the crowds that already gathered in front of Stokbon’s grand Queen Ilyusha Theatre, pushing open both doors with a resounding ‘bang’. Immediately, ushers still in the middle of preparations rushed up to intercept the intruder, but he simply danced around them, tossing the work contract as Cain stylishly evaded them, white sparkles twinkling from his silky, midnight hair. On stage, NPCs were already dressed, ready to perform, their anxieties hidden beneath a professional veneer. The stage props were amazing as well, large wooden towers and large platforms on wheels, changing the scenery from opulent opium dens to bone freezing graveyards. Ah, the scale of this was a bit too far, but…

The proud declaration of Sherdock Bones, a brown-haired girl almost a foot shorter than him, resounded grandly through the empty theatre. Ah, so hot-blooded! Ah, so many titles! Ah, so impossibly adorable~! Ah, if she was going to go all in, then it only made sense that he went all out, right? Not as just a wilting waif who fanned herself over her loved one’s exploits, but as a femme fatale, seductive and dangerous, equally as intelligent as the object of her fleeting affections. Alright, let’s turn up the heat.

With skill unbefitting of his mastery points, Cain took off his hat and tossed it towards the brunette detective stylishly. Uncaring of whether or not she caught it, the midnight-haired muse sashayed sexily from the center aisle to the stage, his hips sway from side to side as a dangerous grin formed on his chiselled face. Loosening his tie and exposing his juicy, well-defined pecs, the adept muse hopped up on stage and approached the artful detective, pinching her cheeks between two fingers and tilting her head upwards to look at him.

They were inches apart, their heartbeats hammering as they locked eyes, an indiscernible darkness matched only by a sun-like amber.

“Delightfully scrumptious as ever, aren’t you, detective?” Cain, no, Arine Dedler said huskily, “How about take a day off from solving the heinous crimes of that moronic priest and spend it with me instead, Sherdock?”

He leaned in, long bangs spilling down from the sides of his face, as if serving as curtains for this private affair.

“I’ll show you a garden of pleasure that will stimulate you even more than the mind games you love so much.”

 

Alpha watched @Cain Darlite and @Seigi go with rapt fascination, eyes glazed in wonder as she stood transfixed by their awe-inspiring performance. Never before had she seen a live theatrical act (as she was often too energetic to sit in one place for an exorbitant period of time) but it seemed that their lively acting had brought her closer to the dramatic thespian community. Without fail, she hopped into the spotlight (or, well, as far as she could hop whilst sporting a false, crippling injury to her leg courtesy of her role as Lames Joriarty). She gave a mock bow to the crowd before she turned to the flirting couple. In every love story there was a love triangle of some sort, right? Well, either that or common day bickering over who did the chores and who spent the rest of the night watching soap operas or evening time sports.

"I'm dreadfully sorry, Deadler," Alpha harrumphed with false bravado and pride befitting of a character such as Lames Joriarty. Her chest was puffed out and she stood on her tip-toes as to seem the least bit intimidating. She tossed a resolute glare over in Cain's direction before her eyes seemed to soften upon seeing Seigi's face. Internally, she was struggling not to laugh over her eccentric and over-the-top display.

She leaned over and grabbed Seigi by the arm, moved her fingers down the length before grasping gently at her hand, and then bent down to a kneel as she kissed the appendage softly. In spite of the pain of doing so, she plucked a petal (ouch!) out of her lovely rose and offered it to Seigi with a courteous bow of the head. "I, Lames Joriarty, have often thought of your intelligence, Sherdock Bones. Your presence makes me feel as if I were alive once again...will you have the honor of being my beloved groom?"

She shot Cain another whimsical, exaggerated glare complete with furrowed eyebrows and a quiet, unheard snicker. "Perhaps I shall win in this war of love and romance, Deadler. Do not get ahead of yourself for I, Lames Joriarty, shall always win."

 

Seigi had waited and waited. Minutes turned into more minutes and soon the play was about to begin with nobody else, safe the NPCs, in sight. It was, nearly in sync with the curtains rising, that another actor joined the battlefield of deceit, love and war.

Now the play was official. Truly, she had to improvise. Improvise a lot. The 'actor', Arine Dedler, didn't play it subtle at all. Getting closer and closer to the Hero Girl that was already promised.

Seigi could deal with a lot. But if there was one thing a Hero had no time for it had to be love. Her face reddened as the fabulous entrance of Cain made her nearly speechless. "Eh...?" Her face was red as a tomato as seconds felt like hours.

It seemed like all the gusto from just moments ago was gone. She had... lost it? Yet... She knew. This... this was just a play. A play. A HEROIC PLAY! And this Hero could not be contained!

Having overcome her small existential crisis the light in Seigi's eyes returned. "Preposterous!" She roared to Cain's offer as she withstood his seducing act with eyes as firm that could even withstand a 100 begging puppies. "Crime never sleeps! Well, it probably does, but not the undead kind of crime! As sweet as your offer may be, I have to politely decline, sir! Business before pleasure. After all, who else is to keep this City safe if not for I, Sherdock Bones, Detective Extraordinaire. Hero of the Undead! Friend of the Deceased!"

It was then that another actor joined the stage. Being the most gentlewoman she could she followed suit with Cain's act and pretty much did the same. Again, her cheeks slightly reddened as she received a kiss on her hand. "Thank you very kindly, madam. I shall treasure this petal with all I have!" Ignorant of the implications it might suggest. After all, it was truly been a beautiful flower, or, well, part of it.

"GEISTESBLITZ!" Seigi distanced herself from the two as she cried out in surprise. "With my superior intellect I already managed to solve a part of this insidious and complicated puzzle!" Taking a drag on her bubble pipe the genius detective adjusted her monocle. "It all falls into place..." She nodded multiple times. "Everything... ."

​

"ONE OF YOU TWO IS THE PERPETRATOR!" She pointed her finger in their general direction as the crowd gasped in surprise and confussion. "It's simple, really."

​

"As irresistible as my natural charm may be. My pure and innocent undead-heart has yet to taste the pleasure of love. Tiz a fact well known for all members of my cult. Clearly, the criminal mastermind is aware of this." Continuing nodding as if that was the most obvious thing in the world Seigi continued her explanation.

"Wanting to take advantage of a fragile maiden's heart the criminal tries to make the maiden fall head over heels for him... or her. What would this do? I hear you asking. Well, it's quite simple. The very first love is the sweetest, and yet most thorny rose of all. It's as Sir Dedler had said. I'd give up my calling to fight crime to chase after an illusion. After all..."

A pause. The audience was holding their breath... .

"ONLY ONE of you..." She pointed her finger at Alpha before it moved onto Cain. "...is truly in love! The other turns their back as soon as my heart is conquered, throwing me into the deepest pits of despair as they have free reign over the criminal underworld." Adjusting her monocle once again she nodded. "Quite the conundrum indeed."

Audience reaction:

Thrown die:

4

​

 

Oh, they were going for that sort of angle? Not merely the adventures of an incredibly seductive femme fatale and a monstrously deductive private investigator, but a love triangle between a bunch of undead maniacs? Inwardly, Cain shivered in excitement. Hell, this is going to be one incredible play, if the insanity of his fellow actresses were to be confirmed. Matching glare with glare, the raven-haired muse hipchecked his romantic adversary after that proclamation, an exasperated raspberry accentuating the juiciness of his lips. “Lames Joriarty,” Arine Dedler said with queen-like contempt, “A madman of you can only dream of depravity and” at this, Cain visibly shivered “un-death. How dare you even imagine that you’d have a chance with my beloved?”

One hand tossed his impressively voluminous hair to the side, drawing inspiration from classic cheerleader stereotypes. With a ‘bitch please’ expression, Cain finished, hand on hip, “Honestly, perhaps all those years of hiding down in sewers rotted what remained of your brain, Lames. Only thing you’re winning is an invitation to our marriage, right, honey?”

That last word was drawled as Arine turned back to the object of her tempestuous affections, only for the brilliantly hyperactive Sherdock to resist biting from the forbidden fruit, taking a step back from both her suitors and blasting out enough heroic praises to keep Cain sated for a long time. And as that pure, simple satisfaction burst in his chest, the actor, no, actress let those emotions show. It was a complex yearning and heartbreaking desire, knowing full well how grabbing the attention of a man like that was almost impossible and knowing full well that she’d reach for that star regardless. She would never bask in the gaze of those sharp, hot-blooded eyes. She would never feel the warmth of that cold, unbeating heart. But she could still dream. She could still crawl through six feet of worm-infested dirt and stubbornly grasp at her scornful beloved’s tailcoat.

And though true agony crossed through her expression as Sherdock placed her in the same category as that deviant dead midget, she crushed that pain under her affections, managing a smile that looked as if it was on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. A tremble came through her body, and her lovely, almond-shaped eyes wavered. Ah…ahhhhh….GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEADahhhhhhhhhhhh.

“Y-you…you would doubt the depths of my affection even now?” Arine said, gazing towards Sherdock from a distance. “You would even think of me as a criminal, after I had saved you so many times, after you had saved me so many times? I still remember now, the stars that twinkled so brilliantly on the veranda that we shared a meal of worm pasta on. I still remember now, the vicious hyenas that you beat down in order to save me from being stripped to the very bone. I still remember now, how warm your cold hands felt against my cheek that night, how we made love on that sandy beach, ocean water tickling our toes.”

She swallowed, scarcely able to believe the amount of shit she was spewing. Oh gods, Cain was definitely going to look back on this and LAUGH.

“Would you abandon me for justice, if your criminal adversary somehow convinced you it was I who's love was false?”

A hand was placed against Arine Dedler’s stomach, tears brimming.

“Would you even abandon your unborn child?”

Thrown die:

7

 

Alpha did a spit-take at the man's words, choking on air as she spluttered out an unintelligible response. She put her hand up in the universal gesture for wait as heaves hacked her body. After a minute, however, she managed to regain her composure and stare at Cain's—Arine Deadler's—stomach with little to betray the incredulous guffaw that struggled to stay in Alpha's esophagus. "May I add my input, Sherdock Bones?" Alpha mustered out, looking back to settle her gaze straight into Seigi's pair of eyes. Despite her grievous demeanor and serious expression, her eyes couldn't help but glint in amusement. "I, Lames Joriarty, am one who believes in the sanctity of death. In fact, I put dozens of men to their coffins just last week! How could this mistress, this tainted seductress, put the blame on me of all people whose history regarding the sacred undead has been clean and unmarred by any sort of...uh, what's a big word for bad...?" Alpha paused in the middle of the speech before the word clicked and she resumed her grandiose monologue. "—By any terrible stain of revival or resurrection. Use your intelligence, my dear Sherdock...why would I, an undead priest, cause such disarray among my own people?! It is obvious that she, Arine Deadler, is one of lies and filth that seeks to run our decaying society into one of life and bright sunlight! Horrific indeed, is it not?!"

At this point, Alpha didn't even know what she was saying. She was just piecing together large words that stumbled into her mind into some sort of sentence or paragraph or speech that somewhat made sense. Hopefully, the audience wouldn't question it.

"Choose, Sherdock! Will you go with the temptress that spells the doom for Undead-kind? Or will you go with me, into a land of rot, where our romance can shrivel away like the flower grown in a bed of marsh! Declare your intentions now, my love! For, if you don't, then you will surely be spelling the end to Undead-kind itself! What would your child think...if Arine is even carrying your child in the first place! For I, Lames Joriarty, am pregnant as well! With triplets!"

@Seigi @Cain Darlite

Thrown die:

12

 

"... ... ... ?!?!?!?!" Oh god. Just what had Seigi done? This was simply insane. Just what direction did these mad people carry this?! Seigi was way too innocent to suddenly bring in unborn children into it! Not to mention the crowd didn't seem all that amused either.

Oh well, it was the hero girl herself who invited this situation unto herself. There was no need for complex thoughts. No need for any deeper meanings. She was a Undead genius detective caught in a weird war of love of sorts? "A TRUE HERO ALWAYS ACTS HER PA- I mean, AHA! The plot thickens!" She nodded a few times before feigning surprise upon the sudden turn of events.

"An undead unborn child?!" She looked in shock at Arine. "TRIPLETS?!" Her gaze wondered onto Lames. One thing after the other. "My dear, dear Arine. All the time we spent together. All the unforgettable memories we made. They shall be burned into the empty spaces of my moldy brain for all eternity. I shall never forget your sweet putrid smell. Never... but..." Seigi's mime darkened.

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain! Maybe that time has come? Do you think, does ANY of you two think, a truly villainous villain of evil deeds would shy away from using a pure, rotten, brain-craving, sweet undead baby soul to not convince me?" Slowly, Seigi became used to the taste of soap as she continued with her bubble pipe thing.

"It is a vile thing indeed. YET! I wouldn't be the genius detective I am if I would be easily fooled by this! For all my feelings this undead heart can feel I am, first and foremost, a hero to the fallen!" Seigi added a ominous pause before continuing.

"Now, for you, my dearest friend Lames Joriarty. While I truly do not want to believe you are capable of such evilness. Your motive, if you have indeed fallen into the lows of corruption, could be quite simple." Seigi looked Alphabet as serious as she could into the eyes. Dead-pan serious. She pointed her finger at the priest before starting to speak rather hastily.

"You revive the dead so you can put them to rest again! This, in turn, gives you a higher amount of work! More work equals more pay equals more money equals more to spend on equals more influence equals more power equals more capita-" Seigi paused for a split-second, before quickly continuing. "-the-word-which-shall-not-be-said equals DOOM TO ALL WORLDS! THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL! ... ... This, of course is only true if you were truly the vile villain you could be."

With giving Lames Joriarty actual reason to do truly evil things however the case wasn't closed. After all it was just a theory. "My initial, genius detective, suggestion would have been to let both of you face a heroic trial of heroism! A detectivious riddle of detectivism! A rotten challenge of molding crust! BUT, maybe, with the-word-which-shall-not-be-said in this, MAYBE, THIS might be enough to bring your evil smell into the moonshine!" Taking out one GP from her back-pocket Seigi threw it into the air before it simply landed onto the ground.

A bait. A trap. So obvious, yet so tempting? Was this truly all that was needed to turn the villain in?!

Thrown die:

30

 

Smart, it was almost an intelligent manipulation of her own scheme, utilizing the number of babies to counter Arine’s singular own. But that intelligence was oh so narrow-minded, and Cain, no, Sherdock’s fleeting love interest, laughed internally, knowing that she had already won. Perhaps this scramble-brained priest truly was a narrow-minded skeleton, his fleshy thinking organs already rotted out of his skull. After all, no matter what sort of mad accusations the unholy priest made, Lames Joriarty was clearly a man! A man with no body-cradle in which to nurse unborn undead! The moment that lie blasted out with the audacity of a cornered madman, Arine had already checkmated the criminal mastermind’s king piece!

As the incarnation of justice’s purity continued his genius-ly eccentric deduction, Arine couldn’t help but smirk with the confidence of a stampede towards her outmatched rival in love. Ah, it was like music to her ears, listening to Sherdock pummel Lames’s lame attempts to form a reason that he wasn’t a villainous mongrel. She could see the panic in his eyes already, fulminating madness ready to burst out at the great detective’s assertions of why an undead priest would raise the living once more. Yes, fall, fall further, into the depths of your depraved sewage hole, unable to escape the grave you’ve dug yourself! A distinctly cruel glint flickered into the femme fatale’s eyes as the gold coin flicked upwards towards the sky, temporarily masked by the glint of the spotlight. With a musical chime, it struck the ground, Arine elegantly swooping down to pick it up, before taking this chance to close the distance with Sherdock, lewdly placing the coin back into the great detective’s palm, dark eyes lustfully looking into Sherdock’s own golden ones.

The midnight-haired femme fatale smiled, and began her attack.

“My dearest beloved, your test of our greed is truly a masterful one,” Arine purred, long fingers stroking the side of the ruggedly handsome detective’s face, “But I loathe to imagine that lying scoundrel would even get a chance to touch your belongings. My willingness to take the coin first and return it to you in good faith is enough to prove my innocence, is it not? After all, if one of us is the villain and if I had just proven my innocence from this dreary affair…”

Dark eyes flickered sideways towards the brunette midget priest, holding a glare of champions who have already secured their victory. Swivelling around and securing a position behind Sherdock, Arine lowered her body until her lips were just milimeters away from Sherdock’s right ear, hot breath sensually tickling the tips of the detective’s ear as she spoke.

“…that leaves, by your astute judgment and lightning-fast deduction, only this lame priest as a viable villain. And what a foul villain he is! To attack my own purity and good will, while he launches bald-faced lies in moments of desperation. Surely you’ve realized that this undead priest’s gender? That he’s a man, yet claims to be pregnant with triplets? What an outstanding lie befitting of only the most heinous of undead raisers! Look past his low effort attempts at romance, my beloved! Look past his lacking endeavors towards being a gentleman! Look past all that, and see those fresh bones, those vibrant flesh-organs, at how Lames, god forbids, looks as if HE had risen from the dead and become one of the decadent, sinful living!”

With a quick switch, the femme fatale danced in front of her beloved again, gazing deep in those eyes of justice, of the same vibrance as frozen lightning.

“Now look at me, dilapidated and desiccated as I am, a proper undead lady that only grows more and more beautiful with every passing decade. Isn’t it clear that you should spend an eternity with me, Sherdock and cast that taboo-breaking criminal into the depths of the Crematory?”

Thrown die:

20

 

Alpha stumbled, taken back by the mere suggestion that her words be anything but the truth. "You dare accuse me of lies, Arine? Might I remind you that you were the one who had formulated a grievous plot to abandon Sherdock for a new lover?! Might I remind you that you are happily wedded to a husband by the name of Godfrey Norton and fled the city?!" Alpha had no idea about what she was spouting out about but she'd remembered a mention of the name Godfrey Norton alongside a casual reference to the character of Arene Deadler by Lachlan Faye himself shortly before the production had started. It was a simple assumption formed out of baseless information she received but, unbeknownst to her, she had hit the arrow dead center. "I believe that there must be some sort of clarification to shine a light on Deadler's shady character before you could make a firm decision, my dear Sherdock..."

She took a breath, thoughts scrambling a mile per minute as she attempted to pierce together a reasonable sounding argument and a line of action. In the end, however, it seemed that this was as far as her brain could go when attempting to improvise and she fell short from here on after. "I...uh...cookies! Yes! I remind you that I am, in fact, alive and carrying your child through this piece of evidence!" she fumbled through her pockets, carefully withdrawing a crumbly old cookie she had munched on a few hours prior. She hadn't been able to finish the treat; so, she had preserved it in her little pouch. Hopefully she could forge some sort of story out of it. Anxiety pooled from the bottom of her gut as she hesitantly looked over the displeased crowd. It seemed as if the performance thus far had been lackluster and had failed to meet their collective expectations.

Another breath. Another second. Another try. She stared straight into Seigi's eyes with the expression of resolution and confidence plastered onto her face like an adolescent's poor attempts to mask their own facial imperfections with foundation and powder. It was obvious that she had doubts in the back of her mind; she was performing for a gigantic crowd, for crying out loud! It was perfectly normal for a bit of stage fright here and there despite harboring an eccentric and eclectic personality. "Can the dead eat? Can the dead breathe? Yes? No? Well, I will answer this for you...the dead cannot! The dead cannot do as the living does yet I stand here, perfectly deceased according to any medical professional, and am here consuming sweetened goods! Why, you may ask? Is it not obvious, Sherdock? Think! This mistress cannot have you fooled when the cold, hard evidence is staring you straight in the face, my dear!" she proclaimed, tapping her skull with her pointer finger. She twirled around, giving a courteous bow to the audience, before she resumed her monologue. "The dead cannot do so. But you, Sherdock, are alive and I am not...what does that make our children? The dead? The living? The living dead?! They must consume flesh and sustenance to survive and so I must engorge myself on such trivialities that I, under normal circumstance, could not be bothered with! Accept the truth, Sherdock! I am carrying your children and this mistress is nothing but a liar and a fraud seeking your affections for self-gain and interest!"

To be honest, Alpha hadn't even known that she had this extensive of a vocabulary before she had enlisted herself into the theatrical cast. In fact, she wasn't even sure what half of the words she said even meant. Still, despite the residual embarrassment from performing unprepared in front of such a vast population of spectators, she couldn't help but let her face twist into an exhilarated grin. Joy trickled into her demeanor as she continued her act. There was adrenaline in here...fun...excitement! Something she hadn't truly felt since her last battle against Azog and, before that, Arachna. What a truly splendorous activity to engage herself in! Maybe she should quit the entire adventuring gig and pursue a career in the performing arts.

She took a deep breath and turned back to look at Cain. "You, Arine, are one of malicious intent towards those of the male sex! For we have the right to procreate as we please as do women! You disgrace the ranks of the undead with your pointless spiel! For what reason do I, of all people, have to manipulate the laws of life and death itself and revive those who'd rather stay dead? You cannot think of a motive for these actions because, for me, there aren't any! I am an innocent man and a victim of slander and a great deal of racism and sexism spouted from your misogynistic, discriminatory words! Do you truly believe that Sherdock would pick such a person over me?!"

@Cain Darlite @Seigi

Thrown die:

95

 

This... this... was Arine for real?! As her great plan had been foiled and smoothened with sweet words and the two of them kept talking things which Seigi really understood only half of, time seemed to come to a halt. A few seconds started to become minutes. Minutes became hours. Hours into days and days into weeks... this plot... this play... just what was going?! Was something Seigi would have liked to yell out.

Maybe she wasn't made for the grand stage. Maybe she was only born a great heroic hero rather than a smarts detective but... No! Never. Seigi was the Alpha and the Omega. One day she'd be in the news right alongside Trinity or something! This, here, right now was just a small stepping stone to great success.

"Enough!" Seigi freed herself from the claws of the potential devil. She was a hero. A hero who would sacrifice her very soul for the greater good. A hero who would walk through fire. If she was to do this then clearly it wasn't just enough to go half-assed about it.

There had been a certain fear. A restraint. An inhibition. That kept the hero girl away from walking that final step. Something that every stupid romance had. Something she, initially, wasn't ready to sacrifice that easily. But even if it'd cost her soul.

"We could play this charade all day! Heck, the very fact that you, my dear Arine, foiled my genius plan under the potential pretext of aiding me could be seen as treason in itself! But worry not, for I am the most patient undead. You remember the time I have been rotting away a millennium under the earth? My trust in you had never wavered. NONETHELESS. It is truly time to put an end to this." A drag from her bubble pipe as she adjusted her monocle allowed for an ominous pause.

"A genius detective, a hero, such as I have to sacrifice their very soul if it has to be. And I believe the time has come. BOTH OF YOU!" She pointed with one hand at Cain while the other pointed at Alphabet. "Proof the Genuity of your love, right now, right here. Not just mere words, actions."

Thrown die:

80

@Alphabet Chocolate @Cain Darlite

 

Cain was fine with bringing in love triangles. Unborn children to further the drama? Why not. Male pregnancy? Hey, that’s just a fallacy to take into account. But now, the latest twist, that Sherdock Bones was alive, and was a homosexual necrophile? Holy shit, Cain had a really, really, REALLY hard time suppressing his urge to break out into mad cackling at how absolutely insane the brunette’s imagination was. Really, whoever this Lames Joriarty was, they were a mad, eccentric GENIUS. One that surpassed his in universe logic by crushing it under arguments that made no sense whatsoever. At this point, Cain didn’t even register the presence of the crowd and was simply immersing himself in how godlessly glorious these interactions were. Ah, this was the mindless entertainment he played video games for! Not the politics, not the power, not the trauma and drama, but instead, the meaningless soap opera esque clashes of will that were present everywhere.

“Shady? You think I’m shady?” Arine guffawed, mocking all of Lames’s assertions boldly, still standing behind Sherdock. Grinning with her teeth showing, the femme fatale tousled her hair dramatically, placing one hand on her hips as she said, “Godfrey Norton is nothing but a scoundrel compared to the gentleman of justice, Sherdock Bones. You seem to love digging at old wounds, huh? Of course I would leave a man who forced my parents to sell my hand in marriage to him! Of course I would feign happiness so he didn’t beat me half an inch to obliteration! Yes, why don’t you just tear open these sore spots, you nefarious Neanderthal of a priest! To think you’d approve of the union between the living and the dead, but think of an undead lady such as myself running from a vicious brute into the strong embrace of a true justicar as something unsavory and shady?”

Scorn dripped like the deadly venom of Jormungandr, the disgust in her dark eyes clearly visible as she spat, “You truly are the lowest, Lames Joriarty. Everyone would be able to see that you would manipulate the laws of life and death itself if you’re already willing to change the very nature of undeathly reproduction to suit your needs. Look at how you’ve fallen, priest, seeing this handsome, sculpted jawbone” Arine’s fingers light stroked Sherdock’s chiselled jawline “and these thick, strong finger bones” they slid down, grasping at the Artful Detective’s hands “as anything but a bonafide undead one! Your delusions have truly caused a horrific descent into madness and badness! It’s the en-”

“ENOUGH!”

The roar of the detective broke the war of words, Sherdock smacking away Arine’s grasp and taking center stage once more. Oh, she fell in love all over again at that dashing figure, a radiant beacon of righteousness amidst the darkness of the unsavory underworld. Swooning and falling onto her knees, Arine could only watch as the actress of Sherdock Bones…dug her own grave. Cain stared for a moment, shocked at how bold of a statement that was, before slowly, ever so slowly, rising up once more. The proof of one’s love, huh? The willingness to sacrifice the virginity of their lips for this singular play. Or maybe this was truly the most nefarious of ploys, the player behind the avatar licking their lips in anticipation at being able to suck faces with a hot virtual avatar. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

But if he didn’t act, Lames would, and with strikingly certain steps, Arine closed the distance once more, looking deep into Sherdock’s amber eyes with a passion that burned the rest of the world away. There were only two now, man and woman, the purity of their love resonating powerful as Arine stage whispered, “Then so be it.”

Before he could think about the consequences of it all too much, Arine embraced Sherdock, locking lips simultaneously as she rapidly recalled every type of kiss she had seen on TV, in movie theatres, and in romantic literature. It was the tongue, right? Totally the tongue. The tongue had to make…helicopter movements? Yeah, that had to be right. Just gotta spin it around really fast like an infinite symbol and...waow, that tasted really weird and slimy, but it was so warm and wormy and hanhhhhhhh? Oh shit, he forgot to breathe…but wait, do deep kisses even last this long, shit what the helllllll was this gay or straight or what?

Arine drowned herself in the moment, relishing the rugged texture of Sherdock’s lips, the virility of his undead tongue, before passionately breaking it. Hot breath panted out as a string of saliva still connected the two. He felt the sweat break out on his forehead, the makeup almost beginning to run, and immediately, Danielle was sledgehammered by massive amounts of regret.

Oh god what the hell that went in a way weirder direction than she thought it would…but since it’s virtual, it doesn’t count, right?

Yeah, that’ll be what she will tell herself so she can sleep that night.

“Is that enough proof, Sherdock? Or would you like more?”

Thrown die:

18

 

Alpha stared in amazement as the two immediately began making out, their display reminiscent of something straight out of Fifty Shades of Purple or Eclipse. This reminded her of the time when she saw her first kiss on the theater screen; the loving reunion between the glittering vampire named Eduard Kullen and Elizabelle Dove. Her attempts to stifle a sniff were in vain as tears flooded the edges of her eyes in the scene which was equal parts beauty and excruciatingly disgusting. Half of her wanted to vomit from the kiss and the other half wanted to squeal in delight. She stood conflicted, speechless, and dumbfounded for a few seconds, breaking her character to wipe a small bead of snot that was running down her nose. Her cheeks were red and her voice cracked as she spoke. "T-that was...so moving," she whispered. "I ship it."

And then her heart plunged into despair as she remember her role, her duty, and she instantly stood straight with her chin held up high. Without even looking away, she swiped a cane from a gentlemanly figure up in the front row without a word of apology or thanks. "Arine Deadler, you think that a silly act of childish romance could prove true love? Wrong! The greatest act would be a duel to the death! An accumulation of feelings and emotions exuding in the battlefield! I challenge you, Arine, for the right to Sherdock Bone's heart!" she swung the cane around like a sword, pointing it straight at Cain's throat. Her head was tilted back exaggeratedly, her hand covering her face as if she was about to faint. "There has been no man or woman who has been able to defeat the might of Lames Joriarty...Ahem."

She cleared her throat.

"To protect the world from devastation!
To unite all people within this nation!
To denounce the evils of truth and love!
To extend my reach to the stars above!
Lames Joriarty blasts off at the speed of light!
Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
​

And, with that, she took two fingers and placed them between her lips, blowing softly to make a light whistle that echoed through the stage. Within moments, as if practiced, a wolf blasted up the stairs and placed itself in front of Alpha. Its eyes were wild, as if hungry for battle. Alpha, however, gripped the dog by the scruff of his neck (much to the canine's dismay) and drew him back in one smooth motion. She reached into her pocket, taking out a black object, and smacked it on the wolf's muzzle. Taking a quick look at her companion, she grinned and gave a thumbs up. "Fabulous!" she cheered and, releasing the disgruntled pup, a black stick-on mustache was revealed to have been placed on his mouth. He looked anything but happy.

Ignoring her companion's ire, she waved her cane around haphazardly (ignoring the angry yelps of the old man she had taken it from) and laughed. Her wolf looked distraught, making every attempt and effort to try and remove the intruding object off his muzzle with his paws (albeit ineffectively). "Sebastian Moran, my trusted hound! Your opponent shall be this fool right here! Now, Arine Deadler, draw out your Pokemo—err, battling creature! This shall be an epic duel!"

Thrown die:

18

 

"Wh- MMhmmrhmmgleawfcflabwrfl!" WHAT. WAS. HAPPENING?! Mere seconds ago, the girl had been willing to sacrifice a part of her Soul for the Greater Good. Instinctively Seigi was aware she had been inviting this. Instinctively she actually had, a tiny bit, expected it. But for one of these people to actually go ahead and do it? Take her first kiss? Having the guts, the villainy, to steal something sacred like that? Not out of love but pure acting?

Under normal circumstances, Seigi would have immediately smacked Cain on the head for this. But she was surprised, confused and in shock. Not to mention that a part of her couldn't deny that she liked it. That part, however, had way less to say than the other part who certainly wasn't too keen on getting helicopter'd.

Ultimately, Seigi was in Cain's arms more like a docile ragdoll that simply submitted. She was supposed to beat up bad people and spew justice. Not be part of some romance! This was just... not right. Like showing a Tsundere pure, sweet and innocent love. They simply stopped working. They couldn't deal with it.

But, in the end, what he did wasn't wrong, was it? In an acting kind of way. It was exactly what everyone would have expected in a normal play. But... how normal was this act anyways? Alphabet's existence was proof alone to how absurd this was supposed to be!

In the end, as Cain finally released her, Seigi's world was simply spinning which was clearly reflected in her eyes. "No more..." She whimpered as the muse had to support the girl to even stand.

It took a few good seconds, enough for Alphabet to make her entrance before Seigi finally recovered. It was a single line that the hero subconsciously registered to break her out of her daze. Truly having the blood of a hero in her veins, not even the great Sacrifice she had just made was ultimately stopping her.

Just as so often as before Seigi, no, Sherdock returned to unlife as she freed herself from Cain, pointing at Alphabet and the Dog with her bony finger. "THE TRUTH IS FINALLY UNVEILED!" Seigi nodded multiple times before looking at Cain. "..." A slight blush came over her face before reminding herself this was acting. A C T I N G.

"Thank you for your faithful support." She murmured before getting back to business. "TRUTH and LOVE are the STRONGEST of all POWERS. How dare you call them evil. Your trickery ends now. How could I have ever fallen for such petty?!"

Adjusting her monocle, Seigi looked around. A pet... did they have? No... but. "This is the first, and last, chance I am willing to give you, Lames. Return to your unholy coffins and leave this realm, once and for all! Together and united, we shall strike and beat your unholy minion!" Pff. Pokemon by the time it released its Unicorn Colored Rainbow Version. Now, all the cool kids liked Digimon instead.

Nonetheless, Seigi wasn't aware if Cain had an actual 'pet' but if not, the two of them had to use their own bodies.

 

“A duel to the death?” Arine laughed, eyes alight with embarrassment at the crazy bullshit that she just pulled off. “Oh, with every word that drips from your living maw, another of your deceptions is laid bare, more evidence of your unsightly existence. A duel to the death, when we both should already be dead? Preposterous, Lames Joriarty! The gig is up, and your attempts at winning my beloved’s affections through violence only symbolizes the shallow depths of your relationship!”

With one hand, she sent her hair aflutter while spinning around dramatically, unperturbed by the adorably costumed wolf that the midget mastermind had pulled out of her proverbial hat. Pokemon was it? In an age of Digimon? Preposterous. About to step up to the great mastermind’s challenge, the femme fatale was stopped only by the bold proclamation of Sherdock Bones, as the artful detective rebounded from the shock of Love’s First Kiss (TM) and declared her enmity once and for all.

“My first time as well,” the bombastic muse whispered into her ear, before giving Sherdock a quick wink and posing dramatically. Arcane winds expelled from his body, amethyst radiance dyeing the dramatic power couple as his magical veins flared to life, utilized for the first time in this performance to its full extent. As the aura glowed, the corona of the moon, Cain brought his arms parallel to each other in front of his face, before calling into the depths of his dancing skills, engaging in a fusion of interpretative dance and a transformation sequence, all gyrations and twists. Stopping dramatically with a double foot stomp, he swished his passionate gaze towards Lames Joriarty as his hand reached out to grasp Seigi’s own.

“A dance off it shall be then, you uncouth wretch. Let me show you what it truly means to battle with beats and beasts!”

A finger snap to the air summoned the orchestra in the pits below, Cain’s feet tapping to signal exactly what sort of tempo song he wanted. It had to be war like, passionate, something that overwhelmed with romance. None of that soft fluffy garbage, but something more like tango! Explosive sets, vicious gyrations, and a sense of style far removed from the courtly twirls that these people were aware of. Low sweeps, high kicks, the dance was almost martial as he pulled Seigi in with him, a fierce smile as he challenged her to meet up with him, to keep up with the frenetic pace. As one, they stepped up to Lames and his Sebastian, Cain taking Seigi by her waist and tossing her upwards while twisting, sending her flying upwards like a figure skater, whilst he remained down below, catching her elegantly as she fell.

Seven quick foot taps clicked on the wooden boards, before he stood back to back with the Detective of Justice, sideways, pointing a finger like a gun towards the great villain. Eyes of onyx narrowed, as Arine smirked, sweat dripping off the sides of his face.

“Now, show me YOUR moves, Lames! And consign yourself to your imprisonment!”

Thrown die:

38

 

Alpha's eyes widened as her deception was uncovered, taking a step back with an exaggerated gasp. Her hand flitted over her throat as she looked down (or up, if you considered the substantial height difference) at the couple. "Hmph. Your deductions are as flawless as ever, Sherdock. Fine, indeed! But if you think your words can defeat me, even with Arine by your side, then you are dreadfully mistaken," she glowered. "My diabolical plots will not fall to your wicked dance moves and I refuse to not partake in the event for I, Lames Joriarty, am a villain! Prepare to suffer utter defeat as you stare at my choreography with equal parts awe and despair!"

Alpha cackled evilly, twirling with light ballerina jumps as her acrobatic experience finally came in handy. "Sebastian, my loyal servant, dance with me!" she crowed, picking up the confused pup by the paws and dragging him up to stand on his hind-legs. The poor wolf was so confused and had a shell-shocked expression with eyes as big as the yolk in sunny-side up eggs. He had his hackles raised in preparation for a fight, not a silly dance routine. Alpha ignored his incredulity and merely tossed the heavy canine into the air. He curled up his paws around his eyes, terrified. It was understandable. If you were suddenly tossed up a few feet in the sky by a prepubescent child who may or may not manage to catch you on time before you plummeted onto the hard surface below, you'd be having a hard time keeping yourself together too.

The show continued on and Alpha's actions could, in another time and place, constitute as some sort of emotional abuse of some kind (considering the extreme amounts of embarrassment and pure fear that Hector felt with each swing and step). Fortunately, this was the theater and the audience looked on at the spectacle with varying opinions (other than a few particular faces, most of the onlookers didn't have a tinge of pity or sympathy for Hector's plight).

Finally, after several minutes where Alpha blew through several timely dance moves (consisting of the good old-fashioned disco, several interpretive dances, a brief interlude where a horrifying mix of the foxtrot and twerk was danced, and a few other clandestine tribal leaps courtesy of several cannibalistic natives on Druuk Island), she stopped with a heavy breath and a sweat. She pointed straight at Cain and, incidentally, at Seigi next to him. "Hah...a real dance is one that's awesome and explodey and cool!" she winked.

She took a breath and then continued. "Speaking of explodey and cool...I suppose it's time for my exit! Come on, Hec—Sebastian! You'll never catch us alive!" she grinned and, reaching into her pocket, she took some sort of object out and raised it above her head. "I'm outta here! But don't forget that, while you've beaten me in the long game of deception and romance, I have defeated you in dance!"

A plume of opaque smoke erupted from underneath her and, by the time it wafted away, there was no trace of Lames Joriarty or Sebastian Moran...

This was the most convoluted, confusing post I've ever made.

Thrown die:

77