100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN "Guehuehuehuehue," Cain laughed, spinning around lazily in circles, his face flushed already from the ale that he had downed in such a manly, uninhibited manner. Oof, it really was too much for a lightweight like him, wasn't it? And really, who thought it was a good idea to go fumble around in a maize after getting so drunk he could hardly walk straight? This pair of idiots, obviously. After pushing his way through the oddly narrow opening of the maze, Cain and Alphabet found themselves in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, tall walls all around. It almost gave the midnight haired muse a bit of PTSD from how close the ruinous walls were to the underground prison of Stokbon, but at the moment, he was too drunk and happy to dwell on such dark thoughts for long. "One hundred gold, Alpha," Cain declared bombastically, "Let's smash through these walls and get out!" With that, he charged a stone wall, smashed his shoulder into it...and promptly bounced off, falling on his ass and laughing it off. Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 83l Maze Progress: 83 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN Alpha hiccuped, her hand slung around Cain as she struggled to walk properly. "W-what're we doing?" she slurred, waving and falling on her butt as Cain rammed into the wall. Everything was clear yet not and there was a slight dizziness that plagued her head. She didn't register the pain until half a minute later. "Ow," she said lacklusterly, rubbing the injury as she attempted (and failed) to stand up properly. "Y'know Ca-Cain...y'know that life is just a game?" she rambled, trying to help the man get up to his knees with an outstretched hand. "We're just, hic, characters...created by people who're just, hic, roleplaying us on a site...! Urgh," she grumbled, cutting off her train of thought (or lack of thought) as her stomach gurgled and she felt the urge to vomit. Luckily, she managed to stifle it down before pointing in some random direction. "I think-what was I saying again?" she looked around confusedly. After a few seconds, she simply shrugged and tried to latch onto Cain's wrist. "L-Let's go that way." Within mere moments, they were lost. Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 79 - 50 (lost) = 29 Maze Progress: 112 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN "That way?" Cain pshawed dramatically, flipping his hair like a glamorous rich person that definitely didn't have family issues or no life goals or saw his friend die for real in front of his eyes while he laid helpless, unable to resurrect twice in a row. "Not that way, you silly gooseberry dinglebird! This wayyyyyy!" Too half assed to get up and stand like a proper man, the midnight haired muse opted to worm flop his way there instead. God, there were STILL those goddamn blood wyrms underneath Dormont, wasn't there? Still had to deal with that problem, because NOOO THE DUNGEON WASN'T READY YET. Groaning as his red face flashed green like alternating Christmas lights, the muse fumbled about on the ground. "And I'm not a character! You're a character! Characters don't gotta think about future shit and all. You know that fortune dude? Yea, I know that fortune dude. Ughhhhh, I got so much shit to do it's just stooooopid. Anyways...uh...yeahhhhhhh." More rolling on the ground ensued. It turned out that two negatives did not make a positive in this case, as getting lost twice didn't miraculously make either of them unlost. Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 17 Maze Progress: 129 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN "See!" Alpha pointed straight at Cain's face, accidentally misinterpreting the math and angulation of it and ended up smushing her pointer finger onto his cheek. She rubbed it in twice for good measure. "T-The only way to, uh, show you are real is if you, urgh, interact with the world in a capacity that only real people will acknowledge," she finished lamely. Right after, she dropped to her stomach and rolled. "LIKE THIS! JOIN ME! JOIN ME IN BEING REAL AND EXISTING!" Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 10 Maze Progress: 139 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN "Wat." Cain blinked blearily, spontaneously biting onto Alphabet's corndog finger and wondering why it didn't taste like corn or dog, just sweat and skin. Was she trying to...no, this made perfect sense! This was a philosophy master's true philosophy! By Jove, Alphabet was a genius, a prodigy, a girl of thought that was infinitely more wise than the greatest of sages upon this wretched virtual world! "Yes, existence!" the muse roared, the sound of his voice somehow strong enough to knock over a crumbling wall and reveal a slightly clearer path to whatever the hell their goal was, "Let us be real! C'mon c'mon, yoyoyo! Big bro Ichiro in the houseeeee!" Already flopped on the ground, the only thing the muse could really do at that point was add even more dimensions to his own rolling. Bringing his long legs up into the air, he rotated them while keeping only the back of his upper torso against the ground. After enough helicopter rotations, the drunk madman was truly breakdancing, working up both a sweat and a reality. Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 59 Maze Progress: 198 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN "What...what's an Ichiro?" Alpha asked, tilting her head to the side (which ended up being more of a wobble than anything else). Regardless, Alpha ignored the drunk man's breakdancing to continue her own routine, reaching up to the sky by kicking up her arms and legs as if she were taking in the radiant light above. "Photosynthesis," she chanted. "Photosynthesis. Fo-To-Sin-The-Sis. Photosynthesis. Phoootooosyntheessissss." Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 10 Maze Progress: 208 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN Perhaps if he was in a more stable state of mind, Cain would have realized just how oddly lewd and inappropriate it was for a young, cute girl like Alphabet Chocolate to be lying on her back, spreading out and then closing her legs and arms like a demented bird whilst constantly chatting ‘for to sin the sis’, but right now, the midnight haired muse was just flat out too sick to care. Gods above, breakdancing spontaneously on a hard, rocky floor was truly a terrible life decision, but now that he started, he could not stop. Momentum had to be maintained, the show had to go on, and thus, as the drunks continued faffing about like two giant flipping idiots, Cain slowly began to drift away down the hallway. “BLERGGGGGGGG!” A demented madman, his legs helicoptering fast enough that he might actually take off for flight, continued the Maize Run on top of his virtual skull, only barely managing to hold onto the contents of his churning stomach. Everything was hell and nothing was alright, but by gods, he was going to get… … …… ………. Why was he even here?!?!?! Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 10 Maze Progress: 218 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN Alpha edged away from the walking, talking mess, slowly rolling and flopping over a few times until a measurable distance had been achieved between her and the drunkard. Even while intoxicated, Alpha could feel a mild sort of disgust at the sight of the man's vomit. "I am a pure temple," she chanted, eyeing him critically with blown pupils. "Filth cannot enter this pure, holy temple. I am untouchable." Somehow, her persistent rolling had managed to get her closer to the end of this maze she was unknowingly participating in (it was hard to remember where you were and what you were doing and what happened five minutes ago when everything was a blur and you were having a mild existential crisis). Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run + 50 93 Maze Progress: 301 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN What, why was she rolling away from him? After six hundred and sixty six rotations on the base of his skull, Cain finally flopped onto his face, totally tired and definitely sick of everything. Ugh, she was so far away. Why?? “Dun lebe me,” the midnight haired muse said, “Urg, Alphaaa, why you gotta be like thisssss. Always leaving me for another girlll, the hell’s wrong with you? Even after I gave so much of my stomachhh. You’re not mad, are you? It’s all just luck, yah know? Forty percent chance of winning big and all that? Don’t hate the player, hate the game, yah dingus?” His face turned green again, but Cain was a strong, stout person with a grand total of zero mastery points invested in Wellness, and he held his drink well enough not to make an unsightly mess within the maze. “Slow down at leastttttt. I can’t crawl fast enoughhhhhhhh.” Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 45 Maze Progress: 346 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN Alpha felt a tinge of pity for the poor man. It was a meager, paltry feeling that barely stirred her heart but it was enough for her intoxicated state to lend a hand of assistance to the drunkard and help pull him off the floor which he had found himself attached to (she wouldn't be surprised if she'd find a marriage invitation a few weeks later in her inbox detailing the grandiose wedding that would occur between Cain Darlite and the very dirt they stood upon). "H-here," she hiccuped, extending an arm. Regardless as to whether or not the man took it, she quickly turned and pointed weakly in some random direction that she felt particularly drawn to. "Let's go there!" she drawled, stumbling like some sort of beast as she swayed from side-to-side in an effort to forge on. "Lets goooo!" Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 99 Maze Progress: 445 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN Ah, in that moment, as Alphabet reached out her hand to pull him up, Cain’s heart went ‘doki doki’, a girlish blush fusing with his alcohol inspired redness. Staggering up to his own feet, he grinned at the spritely brunette, patting her on the head a few times for a job well done, before following her towards what had to be the entrance. They were close, so close that he could almost taste the taste of victory, a savory fusion of sweet ale and acidic bile, the different flavors creating something truly…unique. “Hell yeah,” the midnight haired muse exclaimed as he bounced up, “Let’s go-” Then the maize maze’s trap card triggered, as he stepped on a trigger plate that caused the entire floor beneath them to fall apart. “-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.” A few moments later, the two misfortunate drunks fell into a large pile of hay, sinking in before bouncing out and rolling onto the subterranean floor. Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run -22 Maze Progress: 423 / 500
100 HP MAX HP 100 EN MAX EN Alpha coughed, blowing a few pieces of hay sticking to her upper lip as she brushed some more of the intrusive straw off her clothes and body. Her body aching, she slowly pushed herself off the floor, wobbling as she did so, and tossed Cain a stink-eye. "You're like some kinda, uh, uh," she forgot what she was going to say but she was pretty sure it was going to be something particularly nasty. Like saying he was a nocorn. That's right. A unicorn with no horns which simply defeats the amazing majesty that it was. Oh wait. That was a horse. Horses were nice, though... Her thoughts drifted off to nonsensical things and it quickly became apparent that her mind wasn't in this exact time and place anymore. Perhaps she was off thinking about the mechanics of physical science and its applications on the universe as a whole. Maybe she was thinking about the latest Spongebob episode out of its special 100th season anniversary. Either way, whatever she was thinking didn't seem to affect how her body swayed and moved, beckoning Cain closer without a thought as it pointed forward with no input from her mind. As she slowly snapped out of her thoughts, her eyes glazed, it took a solid minute for her to realize something. "Ooooh," she moaned excitedly, tugging at Cain's sleeve. "Look, we finished the maze!" she drawled. Navigating the Maze / (Roll) DH - Maize Run 79 Maze Progress: 502 / 500
Oh, the pit fall was actually the secret way out? JUST AS PLANNED. HE WAS A GENIOUS. "Hell yea we did," Cain said, laughing a bit too loudly. Then, with a super flashy pirouette and a powerful double handed high five, the midnight haired muse and his drunk, rose addled companion marched off to declare their dominance.
