It really was best to talk about common interests, and what was the easiest one to guess among players in a game but the game itself? For a girl like Harveste who wasn't normally good with people, it made it easy enough to fake it- well, for a bit, at least. "When I first started the game, to be honest... I was really skeptical. But the moment I entered... I got to experience something I've never gotten to in my life. It's one of the things that made it so worth it coming here~!" With a small hop, skip and a jump, she pranced ahead and twirled, trying to work on her balance as she kept her small stature trying to gaze up the entire time to the woman before her. There were so many things she loved about this world now. It gave her love and the ability to experience things she never could. It even brought her some amazing experiences in their own reality. Taking a closer look at the woman, though, she walked forward and got onto her tippy toes, sniffing as close to the flower in Luna's hair as she could. Sadly, a foot in height made it a strain on her ankles- but she persevered, sniffing at the flower in Luna's long hair anyhow. "Finally, I can stop and smell the roses like they always say. Though... I've never seen a flower quite like this one. What is it called? May I know?" It seemed as if she was avoiding continuing the topic she herself had started- the topic of how ravaging the creatures in these woods could get to a new inhabitant of this world, temporary or not. It was her own fault Luna had to think about death, and a piece of her was regretting bringing it up. Luna's answer, though, made her happy. "It's good you don't seek it. Stay that way. Just because we can revive, doesn't mean we should look to do it. I think the way it feels depends on a lot of things- where and how you die, for starters. There's a penalty, too. You can get rid of it for a fee, but it's there until you do... and it's expensive so... It leaves a mark, you could say?" Crap, I'm going into details she doesn't need! Shut up, Jaluna- She paused for a moment, listening to her thoughts. Whenever she scolded herself- or most times when she did- the small girl used her real name. "You don't need to have a play style right away. I still barely have one, to be honest. Just do what feels right, you know? But um... There is something I'm rather interested in. Your name. How did you choose it? It's similar to my actual name, and I love names in general, so..." That would be a good distraction, right? Nope! A different topic had come up as she sputtered. "I can't cook for my life, and I don't know if I can get a shop with naturamancy. But... I love farms. I've been debating trying to take up cultivation as a fifth mastery, but... There's a lot of options, right? I don't want to fill the slot until I'm positively sure... I just really love plants and animals. I wanted to be a harvest sprite, so I made my character that way. It's even why I chose to be a faerin! It's kind of silly, as I think about it, though..."
Hearing about people's first experiences was always nice, both hearing about the good and the bad. It helped put into perspective for Luna just exactly how lucky she'd been in her first experience of the game, having not even been attacked until she knew a little bit more of how to fight. Heck, her first fight hadn't even been to save her own life, she'd been rescuing some NPC's mother from some mobs. She nodded along as the girl spoke, smiling at how bouncy and energetic the girl seemed to be, the acts reminding her a lot of Angel and some of her actual school friends. It was a shame none of them knew about the game, though none of them were really into gaming as a whole, so it also wasn't much of a surprise either. It was just a mild upset, at the end of the day. One thing she hadn't been expecting was for the girl to sniff the flower that covered her eye, though she didn't stop her. She had to admit that she was more than a little curious as to if the flower had any sort of defining scent for other people, since it didn't have one when she took a deep breath in. As for her name? "Ah, um, my name was chosen because it was night when I was making my character and the flower I selected was an Avalbane, a white orchid. T-therefor....L-Luna Avalbane..." Did that sound nerdy when spoken out loud? It felt like it did. "And it's pretty cool that you modelled yourself after a harvest sprite! I think they're really cool and under-appreciated! R-really!"
Harveste listened with great interest, her seemingly hyper antics slowing down, body becoming more relaxed as she took in the details of Luna's story and tried to describe in her mind the scent of the Avalbane upon her gentle features. "I see... A nighttime flower is definitely interesting as a choice. I don't know the avalbane specifically but... Orchids generally imply love and beauty in floriography, and white is generally meant to signify purity and innocence." Her words were said with a grin as she added, "And orchids have all sorts of amazing qualities. I read about plants a lot you see- I like using them as symbolism in stories. Orchids come in all the colors of the rainbow you know. The background of their name is kind of embarrassing from what I read, but... Isn't it neat that they grow on almost all the continents with all those colors?" The wheels in her head were churning even as she peeked around for some sort of snack. She found herself effortlessly drawn to Luna even in her humanoid form, however- gently, she'd cling to the woman's blouse, mostly to keep from getting separated during their chatter. It did help that she just preferred not being alone, though- and she saw similarities she couldn't quite ignore. "I'm sorry if my tendency to sniff is a little strange. I've got congenital anosmia so... I don't really know smells normally. This world is the only place I can experience them. Seeing a new flower, or new food... It always makes me want to smell them, so I can let all the senses play along, you know? I didn't really explain it when I said I could 'stop and smell the roses' now... I know it's not a normal condition people think about, though so..." Her rambling stopped short as she looked at the mouse that still seemed happy to cling to Luna as it did. Her thinking shifted and her smile grew warm and less tepid from her internal shivers and startled moments. It was easy to stop raving when something so cute gave her a grin, human or creature. "What do you think of when you think of a harvest sprite, I wonder~?" Her words were said in a singsong tone, a tune actually held in her voice. "Do you think of fairies from folklore or from games? Or something all together~? I'd like to know, since you mentioned liking the concept. It makes me happy to learn this kind of thing, you know?"
She smiled and nodded as she listened to the girl ramble on about flowers, not really following along all that well but doing her best to pretend like she had been able to follow the girl's excited speech about the plants. She had nothing more than a passing interest in the subjects being mentioned, so a lot of the information went completely over her head no matter how hard she tried to reach for it. She raised a finger to stroke the mouse gently, smiling as she let the girl continue. "All the d-different colors are r-really pretty, yeah..." She mumbled, though she still maintained that her favorite was white. It was her favorite color, though that was probably obvious from how she dressed. She looked like a moving patch of white, traveling across the forest when she moved. Gods help her if it snowed, nobody would ever be able to spot her from any sort of distance that didn't have them pressed up against her. She didn't make any move to remove the girl's fingers from her clothes, though she did stiffen up ever so slightly for a moment, before taking a breath and stroking her mouse friend to relax some more. It was actually doing wonders for her to have a creature on hand like this. The warmth of its soft fur was very soothing, actually. "C-congenial...I-I'm sorry...I um, I've never heard of t-that before. I-Is it common?" She hoped it wasn't something serious that the girl was suffering from in the real world! The girl didn't seem to treat it like a bad thing, though from her experience people that suffered from an illness or disease typically didn't want people to think that it was such a major deal. Those types of people were so much braver and stronger than her. As for what she thought of when she thought of a harvest sprite, Luna found herself blushing slightly, looking down as she mumbled out a near silent answer, before taking a deep breath. "I-I-I um, I usually think of....y-y-you know, s-s-sort of fairy-like creatures that are r-really cute and love n-nature and, y'know, h-help the animals..." She coughed, looking away for a moment. "I w-w-wanted to be one a-as a kid..."
She had probably at least an inkling that her words tended to go over the heads of those she tried to teach about floriology- but, she couldn't help herself. It was one of those quirks she had to work on, though somehow, she had met people that liked that random blabbing about things. Perhaps if she worked harder on not doing it, though, people would like her better. Like the person she liked! But that wasn't a topic for that moment. That wasn't a topic for any moment lately at all. "Ah, sorry- it's not a really well known term. Congenital means 'by birth', and anosmia is 'lack of sense of smell'. I haven't smelled a thing in my life until I got to try this game's sensory integration. It's kind of a problem at times, but... It does have it's perks. I get to enjoy watching skunks without finding any remnants of musk bothersome." And she was at it again! She really, really needed a new therapist, she decided. But she wouldn't mention that- she'd focus on her potential new friend, along with the mouse friend alongside the two. "I like that idea of a harvest sprite~ I like them from a video game, so I think of them a little funny at times. But in general... I do think of them like fairies. Fairies that help nature and live alongside it... It's a lovely concept, don't you think? Though to me..." She looked the woman up and down again, standing mostly still, eyeing the flower near her eye once in a while. "Your gentle white pallor is amazing... Like a porcelain doll. And yet you look soft enough to hug, unlike such a doll. It's a beautiful image... And you're gentle and kind, too, so it fits you well!"
Ah, so she'd been born without the ability to smell? That was kind of sad, but it also amazed her that the game could actually give Harveste the ability to take in scents even when she didn't have it in the real world. How advanced did the game even have to be to manage such an amazing feat? It was such a surreal thing to actually hear about, that the game they were playing had given the girl a sense back. "W-wow! I-I-I bet it was....pretty overwhelming for you, h-huh?" It was also kind of sad to think that the girl lost all of those sensations when she logged off. As for the concept of harvest sprites helping nature and things, Luna found herself nodding along with a small, serene smile. "I-it r-really is a n-nice thing. A-a-and the creatures here deserve t-the help too..." Some of the animals really were just sweethearts, especially her new little mouse friend, who she lifted a finger to stroke gently once again. Even if she couldn't have pets in the real world, this was almost as good as the real thing, as far as she felt. She did shift a little uncomfortably as Harveste looked her up and down, not really used to being the center of attention or having eyes on her. She was aware she'd made her avatar quite something to look at, personally she'd struggled with finding even her own reflection attractive, but it was still strange for other people to compliment this appearance. "A-a-a-a-ah...t-t-thank you..." She blushed crimson, to the roots of her hair almost, turning her face away in a pitiful attempt to hide it. She didn't do well with compliments. "I-I-I um....y-y-you're a-a-also very, uh, f-fitting in t-terms of appearance...?" She was also fairly uncomfortable with giving compliments too. Sometimes people didn't take compliments very well, or misread their context. "A-as a h-h-harvest sprite! Y-y-you're very, um, fae and s-sweet!" She coughed, somewhat awkwardly, still glancing away to hide her absolutely atomic blush. "I-I um, I don't t-t-think I'm d-doing very well a-at this, a-am I?"
She felt the way her hairs stood on end upon her neck despite not feeling any real 'chill' from the memory anymore. Was it some form of muscle memory? No, hairs weren't muscles. Nervous ticks just showed themselves a lot for the faerin, she soon told herself in reminder. "It was a little overwhelming I guess, but I mean... The world itself is pretty overwhelming when you first enter it, isn't it? a lot of things to get used to, not just the scents that I'm learning to recognize... But there are all sorts of textures and sights too, right? Things we can't see back home." In a way, one of the best things this world had done for her besides let her understand what made olfactory skills so amazing was just give her new ways to express herself. It was a great place to do writing exercises for description, with so many more things to describe than her apartment. Her eyes sparkled lightly as she took a moment to look around again. Though she wasn't much of an active person in general, Harveste had always had a hard time sitting still, especially when her emotions were running wild- which, admittedly, was fairly often. She had more nervous habits than she could shake a stick at, and in this world, it became just as obvious that 'changing herself' was not as easy as she'd hoped it would be. With a gentle giggle, she grinned as Luna mentioned being 'not good at this'. "I don't know what 'this' is that you refer to in this case... But I don't think you're doing anything badly particularly. Though... Perhaps I think that way because we're similar. We're both trying to learn to be better with those that surround us, animal or otherwise. Aren't we?" Luna's rather bold blush upon such pale skin was something the small girl tried to burn into her memory. The woman really was much like an elegant doll- the redness on her cheeks against such porcelain features looked like it had been painted on perfectly by a dollsmith. Dollsmith? Was that even a word? "I don't know what you think you're doing badly at... But I do know I think you're a good person. And... At the least, isn't that a good place to start? I bet that's why the villagers and the animals here like you. The hard part, really, is always learning to like ourselves, you know?"
"Y-y-yeah, I-I was also a l-little bit o-overwhelmed, t-though I also uh, didn't even know how to open the m-menu when I first, y'know, logged in..." She kicked at the dirt beneath her, feeling more than just a little bit embarrassed at admitting that. God bless Ashnor, wherever he was, for at least teaching her how to open the menu before they'd split up. At the very least, it made her chances of surviving increase incredibly, simply through that one simple act of kindness. She really had no doubts that she'd have died had she tried to figure everything out when she was alone. And it also seemed that Harveste was a kind of kindred spirit, or at the very least, she understood what Luna was going through. It was actually sort of embarrassing to be understood by somebody that she'd just met, but at the same time it was nice to know that she wasn't the only person that struggled with being social. Maybe it was a way more common problem than she'd first thought. It was easy to think you were the only one, after all. "U-uh, y-y-yeah you're right. I-I'm um, I-I'm hoping that the g-game will help me to become...a braver, more o-outgoing person..." It took actual effort to keep herself from mumbling, most of the time. Like she was constantly performing in a school play and the teacher kept reminding her to speak up so that the audience at the back could hear her. Sometimes it felt like a sort of eternal nightmare. She sighed, stroking the mouse's fur with her finger again in an attempt to calm down. "A-a-and I wouldn't really....um, call myself a g-good person. I-I'm just trying to be l-like the people I've met. B-being nice to people s-should just come as standard..." She didn't really stop to think that the villagers and animals might find her personality endearing. She just did her best to make sure she didn't leave anybody feeling less happy than they were when she met them. "B-besides, I-I think you're as nice as me! I-I'm sure they'd, um, like you too..."
The girl giggled, but not 'at' the woman- no, she giggled with her, as if she could feel the anxiety as memories flooded her from that fateful day many moons ago. "I understand, trust me. I needed a lot of help... Trinity's cute, but... She wasn't as good at explaining things in the beginning, I think. It was pretty rough starting, but... I think that over time, it's kind of more fun to learn on our own anyway, you know?" It was probably the first time in a while Harveste had thought about that fact- the fact that while many games were almost automatic with they way they forced their controls down your throat, this one was almost 'too' open-ended at the start. She could remember how quickly she'd been attacked by creatures, how quickly she'd gotten lost due to control issues... And yet how fun it was learning to control her abilities and the menu, and making friends who helped her do so. "A lot of mobile games, you know... They're really uh... Well, basically, I find them too forceful with how the tutorial works. In a way, this one inspired me to realize the good of those tutorials, while learning to have confidence in my learning capability, too. It pushes you to explore even if sometimes you might look silly doing it, you know?" Then again, not all exploration was a good thing. Her first death was caused by naively exploring a place that wasn't as safe as one would expect. Who knew cathedrals were so dangerous? "This game has a habit of helping and hurting you at the same time. I think I've grown from it... I've met people from the game offline, meaning I have to get out more for it. For some reason... As my naturamancy grew, I began wanting to work harder with plants at home. For once I haven't killed my bamboo. It's almost like the skills I get here express themselves in reality. But like that... Maybe it's because I take things too seriously, but..." Her face turned scarlet as she remembered the way the game taught her some less exciting things as well. "Sometimes, the world has made me realize the true darkness I have. I'm not nearly as nice as you might think... At least, I don't think I am..." She smiled gently, kicking the ground herself with an awkward gaze upon the soil. "I... Never realized until I came to this world how bright the world is, and how much fun it can be to explore it. But I... Also didn't realize how scary my mind can be. How dark it can get. I've met people who helped me realize some of my faults that I never knew, while helping me learn my other faults aren't as bad as I think." Though, getting off topic and rambling certainly was a fault to work on, she noted as she stopped her stammering. "If I were as nice as you...I think that'd make me a lot better than I am. If I were nice... I probably wouldn't hate myself as I have lately. Lately... I've been jealous and worrying worse than I used to. I can blame the game for that too, in a way, but... It's also given me ways to cope." Coping! That was an important thing for anyone with anxiety- and that was a good chunk of the world, wasn't it? "Instead of trying to be 'braver'... Why don't we both work on finding our good points? Good points that outweigh our darkness, that can help us deal with the pain we feel trying to grow stronger. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but... Sometimes, accepting what makes us weaker is true strength! Does that make sense?"
Trinity was the mascot of the game, wasn't she? She'd seen that name used before, but she really couldn't remember a whole lot about who or what that name was actually attached to in terms of a person. If she remembered correctly, she thought it was an NPC that was self aware or something along those lines? Maybe it was an actual person in control of her though, kind of like a staff character or something made by the people that had created the game, whoever they were? Either was, it was kind of a mystery to Luna, but she could definitely nod her agreement that it was more fun to learn by herself, at least once she knew the very basics. She shuddered to think of how dead she'd be had she never learned how to open the menu. And she couldn't really comment on the whole thing about tutorials on mobile games, since she didn't really play a whole lot of them. She'd heard about the bad reputation they had and decided to avoid them entirely, especially since she'd seen people be straight up bullied online for enjoying some of them, or recording gameplay of them. Her phone was strictly for calls, texts and browsing the internet, which was probably for the best since she could delete her browser history quickly, especially now that she occasionally did searches about the game. And the fact that Harveste had met people IRL after meeting them in the game wasn't too much of a surprise, she'd be lying if she'd said she hadn't expected people to do that in a game like this. "I-I-I feel like it's easier t-to make friends in a game like this a-as opposed to other games..." The face to face nature, being able to read each other's body language and actually touch them, made the game feel way more genuine and enhanced every interaction players could have with each other. She'd already made a pen pal in Angel, after all. And hey, maybe she'd start developing more of an interest in animals as she got her Beast Taming mastery up? She'd always wanted pets, but maybe her experiences here would kick that slight interest into overdrive somehow? Nobody could really say for sure either way, especially not Luna herself. Still, the prospect was exciting, especially if Harveste's remark about her plants and Naturamancy weren't lies or half-truths. The talk about Harveste's darkness, however, was a little bit more upsetting than she'd hoped to have with the girl. She almost couldn't believe it. How could a girl as sweet and kind as Harveste have some sort of darkness within her that got her that upset? Of course, she didn't ask anything about it, Luna wouldn't ever even dream of asking about it in her life. Everybody had some little speck of darkness within them, didn't they? Everybody had the potential for bad, like they had the potential for good. So she remained silent. She could offer some words of support or something, but anything she'd say would probably feel hollow, if she could even think of anything to say to the girl in this situation. Jealousy and worry were normal things, they weren't even all that dark in the grand scheme of things. Luna herself had been jealous before and she worried a lot. Instead, she gave her shoulder a slight shake and held a hand out, the mouse scurrying down it and making its way over to Harveste to scamper at her feet, looking for a way up onto the girl. Also, she really didn't understand the whole thing about finding good points or embracing their bad points. What was the point in that? "I-I-I um, I c-c-can't lie and say I um, understand what you mean..." She shrugged, trying to find the words she needed as she toyed with her flower eye, looking around. "B-b-but I need t-t-to be a braver person. I um, I-I'm n-not strong enough t-t-to embrace weakness..."
In a way, she could somewhat sense that the mention of the mascot had confused her new friend- or, at the least, Harveste had already decided they were. Realizing she'd really gone off the deep end for a bit, she forced a more laid back grin as she explained herself. Explanations took care. She had to remember that! "Trinity is the game's mascot. She's been in commercials and sometimes you see her wander around. Trinity is one of the few NPCs you'll meet in the beginning that know this is a game. Most NPCs see us as other worlders and weirdos, or at least that was how it worked in the beginning. Many understand now the way things are for us adventurers." Time changed many things- the seasons, the weather and the thoughts of people all together. A slightly sad tint took to her lips, bringing her unusually wide grin to a somewhat more stoic, lazy grimace. "Sorry for going over the top there, though... I've been mentally feeling very... Well... Off. I'm lately learning about a lot of things about myself I really hate. I've come to realize how obsessive I can be, how jealous I get... And how lonely I feel even if I'm not alone..." Wait, wait! I just apologized for diving into this garbage conversation! Why am I continuing it like it's nothing!? A timidity left her laughing as she waved her hands in front of her, spinning her body in circles and taking a deep breath or three to calm herself. "S-Sorry about that. But um... I think recognizing our weaknesses is a form of strength itself. It takes courage to admit we're not perfect, right? The first step to any problem is accepting the problem for what it is." For once, she was thankful she'd taken part in one of those 'twelve step' programs, even if it was only for learning a couple lessons when she didn't even have a problem. Now, perhaps, she could really use one, though. "Now that I think about it... They make special workshops and stuff for anxiety and socially struggling people. Like group therapy kinds of things, where we can all help each other. Think of it as AA but the a stands for anxiety instead of alcohol. I wonder if that'd be a thing to create here too...? A support group for people like us who don't feel brave but want to change." Feeling a bit more encouraged on her own, she grasped Luna's hand lightly with a gentler smile on her face, showing she'd warmed up and seemingly left the awkward section of her rambles for another day. "What do you think bravery is, Moon Lily? What is it you want to be able to do to become 'brave' in your mind?"
Oh, so Trinity was an NPC after all! The whole thing had really left Luna super confused as to who she was, so it was nice to have it all cleared up by somebody that wouldn't laugh at her for the lack of knowledge she had. It certainly said a lot that the girl was willing to notice something she'd been confused about and take the time to explain it to her, instead of leaving her to wonder about it for long time. It was definitely something that would've stolen moments of thought from her. As for Harveste's talk about what she'd discovered about herself thanks to the game, whatever that meant, Luna decided the best course of action she could possibly take was to remain silent. She was only young, she didn't have the answers to the problem that Harveste seemed to be having, she couldn't help her just by offering a few words or recycling a life lesson that some book or show tried to teach her once upon a time. Sometimes staying silent or doing nothing was the only option she could see. And they came back to the thing about recognizing weakness, only this time the smaller girl seemed to have her thoughts much better organized to give out. At least, this time Luna actually managed to understand what the girl was saying, but it sounded so unlikely to ever solve the problem. "I-I-I um....I-I feel like I've already g-g-gotten past that stage though..." She was well aware of what her problem was. She just froze, or struggled, or couldn't speak whenever she was standing face to face with somebody. Over the phone or by text, she struggled much less to speak her mind. As for the idea of a support group within the game for shy players that still wanted to meet people and accomplish things, Luna could only shrug her shoulders with a sad smile on her face. "I-I-I don't know i-if that's something y-you can do or not. I-I'm not sure how y-you'd get word of it out there, a-at least..." The best thing she could probably do was send a mass PM to every player out there, which was probably tedious. Possibly. She wasn't sure, she'd only ever sent a PM to a single recipient before. She froze completely when her hand was grabbed, blushing crimson to the roots of her hair as she stared at their joined hands with an expression that was half embarrassment and half terror. A cute girl was holding her hand! Again! What was with this game and making her way more noticeable than real life!? "B-bravery? M-moon Lily?" They were on nickname basis already? Wasn't it a bit early for things like that? "U-u-um....bravery is, uh, t-the ability t-to d-do something despite being afraid. N-not the absence of f-fear..." She'd always believed that if you were fearless, you couldn't be brave. Bravery was the knowledge that something was more important than fear, not lacking a fear response entirely. "A-a-and I um....I want t-t-to make friends....a-a-a-and talk without being a stuttering mess..." Was the girl ever going to let go of her hand? She could feel her mouth beginning to dry up. "W-w-w-w-what about you?"
The silence might have been helpful in its own way, Harveste would admit. Like many before had told her when she asked how to help them, sometimes just giving a space to talk things through without saying a word was more than enough- and that day, too, she felt it seemed fitting. That said, Harveste wasn't used to being the one to ramble and rave about her problems. She had other places to do that. Why was it Luna had become her makeshift therapist for even a moment? She blushed, a nervous laugh on her face as she listened to the woman begin to speak again. I really need to find a therapist one of these days... It took time for the faerin to put together what Luna said about her issues, about the kind of courage she was seeking. Her faint smile was awkwardly unwavering, as if she felt all too familiar with the topic- likely because she was. "I'm not a mind reader, so I can't guess if this is true... But since it sounds familiar to me, I want to try to bounce some ideas off you to see if I'm about on target. Are you the type who gets your ideas across better by hand than by mouth? The type who prefers to text over speak on the phone, who finds solace in words and art more than in the sounds that they can create?" She didn't mean to sound abstract in her approach- it was a habit of hers that she had to fix, one of these days. "I'm a writer for a reason, you know... When I have something heavy to talk about, when I feel so strongly, words often don't make sense unless I put them on paper. I'm the type who's more likely to send you a letter and be pen pals than to talk on the phone for hours like many may do to communicate through things, whether for friendly reasons or for more personal struggles." Perhaps it was the years of time in therapy groups herself, but she always found herself trying to relate to people, even if it meant exposing herself even if it turned out she was off the mark. Somehow, she was sure she wasn't though. "Even the stutter, the awkwardness of eye contact... I feel like I was you in the past... And still am, in many ways. Am I making any sense so far?" Her hand reached to pat the woman's arm, her smile softening more, eyes still staying away from the woman's face as if the sight would torment her. "I'm bad with people, in reality. When I joined this game... Part of it was to learn to be more social, to try to break past my personal boundaries and fears. Some things haven't changed... I still laugh awkwardly when I look people in the eye out of sheer anxiety. I still stutter occasionally when my emotions run high... And sometimes, it's still hard to make friends, too. But... I don't think you have to worry as much as you are, Luna." Moving back a bit and twirling, she looked as much near the woman's face as she could as she felt her smile grew childishly wide, taking over a majority of her face. Her eyes closed in an animated style, keeping her from seeing the woman's facial changes in reaction to what she was saying, or was about to say. "I mean... Aren't we already becoming friends? And isn't it okay to be nervous and stutter? That you accept you're nervous is a good thing. And if you ask me... Your stutter is kind of cute all on its own~ Add it to a cute girl and who could complain?"
It was a good point that Harveste didn't seem to mind the silence, especially since she seemed to be pouring some pretty personal stuff into whatever it was that she was trying to tell Luna. Honestly, she was pretty glad she'd gone with the approach of remaining silent when she had nothing she felt like she should say. She was almost certain that if she tried to speak somehow, she'd end up sticking her foot in her mouth before she'd had a chance to even think about it. She wasn't sure when or where she'd learned this particular lesson, but she was thankful to whatever or whoever had taught her. As Harveste started listing off assumptions of traits that might fit Luna, said girl found herself nodding or shaking her head when she felt like they did or didn't apply to her, still sort of focused on the hands that were grasping her own. She had to admit, a lot of the things that Harveste said tended to go over her head, usually due to the language or indirect way that the girl spoke with, whether by accident or not. With that in mind, the revelation that the fairy girl was a writer of some sorts wasn't much of a surprise. The girl clearly used fairly advanced language even in her speech, though she did it with that somewhat nervous disposition that Luna wouldn't really expect from such a kind and honest person. She nodded after Harveste asked if she were making sense, trying to make it seem like she'd managed to keep up. She could get the gist of everything, at the very least. And it seemed like they had a lot in common, or they would have had she met Harveste earlier than she had. Everything Harveste had mentioned seemed like a fairly accurate analysis and it made Luna wonder if she was just that easy to read, or perhaps her problems weren't as local and isolated as she'd thought? Maybe more people than she could possibly imagine suffered from the same sort of anxiety and shyness that she herself suffered? Harveste sure did seem to be an expert on it, for somebody that she'd been sure was born cute and talkative. Heck, the girl even had more reason to be shy than she did, suffering from some sort of actual illness or disease! And yet she still did better at expressing herself! Then the fairy's hand moved to her arm as she mentioned something about them being friends, with eyes shut, before calling Luna's stuttering cute. Cute!? Almost instantly, Luna became a stammering, stuttering, crimson mess. How did she respond to somebody calling what she saw as one of her worst traits cute? Was she supposed to be touched? Offended? Confused? Because confused was exactly how she felt, blinking in surprise as she buried her face in her hands to hide her giant crimson blush. "A-a-a-a-ah....um, I-I-I-I don't think a-a-a-a-anybody should t-t-thing it's cute..." She stammered, clutching for any words to use. Any would do, really, so long as she could make herself speak coherently. "W-w-w-who t-t-thinks it's cute to, um, s-s-s-struggle to hold a single conversation....?" She shrugged, pulling her hands away from her face when she thought she was more composed. She clearly wasn't. "I-I um, I'm not sure if I'd say I'm better at conveying m-m-myself over text..." She poked her index fingers together, shuffling at the dirt beneath her with her feet. "I-I-I just find it e-easier to speak to somebody w-w-without the face to face..."
She was trying so hard not to laugh, yet it was hard to keep her eyes closed so she wouldn't get a peek at the flushed face before her. It was an old habit, laughing when she looked at people. It was a habit she never understood, and knew bothered many she met. Honestly, the fact that she'd gotten as far as she did with that little tic was a wonder. Adulthood was strange that way, she supposed. "I bet my girlfriend would agree with me," She suddenly mused in response to Luna's rather adamant disbelief that someone stuttering like a patient with hypothermia could be 'cute'. "But then again... Kaede has to have weird taste if she's with me, I suppose. I'm not cute, just simple. I get scared easily, my methods of showing fear are just plain weird..." She finally looked more clearly at the woman- and, just as she had expected, she started giggling in an uncontrolled fit, holding her mouth tightly and even biting onto her own finger to keep from letting the incessant, irrational air escape. "I'm really scared of people. I get so nervous I start to laugh just looking someone in the eye. Some people say it's endearing at first, but I know from the way their voices change that they usually feel angry and mistreated no matter how hard I try to explain it..." Suddenly, she held her hand up, showing off the bite marks she'd just left on herself to keep herself calm. "I started this biting habit when I was small. It's kind of a form of self harm, though- any physician that sees me do it has a field day giving me lectures. But... Sometimes, creating my own pain is the only way to fight the kind I already have." Was it weird for her to share this rather peculiar truth? It was far from healthy, and she knew it. "My list of fears is pretty great. I think I'm afraid of just about everything at least a little. I can't cook with my gas stove because I'm an intense pyrophobe, I have this constant anxiety around people- especially men- that makes me want to cry when I try to think of leaving my house... I've been getting better with things, but honestly..." Teary eyed, she moved back a bit and found a stump to stand on, jumping on it and spinning around. She twirled and twirled, looking ready to hurl- but she didn't. She simply stopped and stood, her arms out to keep her steady like a tightrope walker. "This place is the safest I've ever felt... And my first experience was being surrounded by animals wanting to eat me. Somehow, compared to that, I still think our world- the world of people- is scarier. But... They say if you smile, life will smile back. Fake it 'til you make it, or 'til you become it...That's what they say, right? So isn't this a good place to try?"
