Private - Of Mice and Me? | Page 3

Well, Luna would've been lying if she said she hadn't been expecting any giggling at her expense in situations like this. She couldn't help that her reactions to things like this were so strong and genuine that most people seemed to find them amusing, even if those people were genuinely nice and didn't want to upset her in any way. It was probably just human nature to find something funny when it didn't have much of a negative effect on the person that was finding it humorous.

Still, it was slight news that Harveste was in a relationship, though she wasn't all that surprised by it. Somebody so nice and kind was almost certainly already taken, after all. The biggest surprise came from the fact that she'd met yet another girl that was into other girls, just like herself and Angel. What were the odds of meeting another person like herself so soon? She would've congratulated the girl, were she not certainly extremely late to the party in that regard.

And then the other girl went right back to spilling all of her fears and insecurities, without any real prompting from Luna herself, as far as she was aware. Honestly she was feeling kind of awkward, having all of this information dumped on her all of a sudden, being shown bite marks that Harveste had made on herself and being told of how the fairy girl was afraid of fire and men and other things like that. It was almost difficult to not pity the girl, Luna only really had a fear of face to face interaction after all. Harveste seemed to have to deal with so much more than she did.

It was both humbling and humiliating in its own way, the fact that she had to be lectured by somebody that had even more problems than her, yet still managed to be more sociable and maintain a relationship on top of all of those problems. It kind of highlighted, in her mind, just how pathetic she was managing to be by wallowing in her own problems like she did. But it wasn't like she could just change because she wanted to! That wasn't how change worked! Something had to force the change!

She sighed, smiling sadly as she looked away, her face settling down from the crimson color it had been once upon a time. Fake it until you make it? That had been her plan from day one, but no plans really survived first encounter with the enemy, no matter how well thought out they were. "I-I-I-I can't e-even fake it. I-I-I-I planned to do that....when I, um, first logged in..." She sighed, kicking at a small stone beneath her feet in part frustration and part humiliation. "T-t-that w-w-went out of the w-w-window the moment I came face to face with s-s-somebody..."

She decided she wasn't going to address all of the personal things that Harveste had shared with her, not really knowing what she could do with any of that information anyway. Were she the awful type of person, she could file away the list of Harveste's fears for later, but that would just be a disgusting thing to do. As somebody held captive by her own fear, she couldn't in good conscience inflict it upon others. "H-h-honestly I'm starting to think I-I just wasn't born with t-t-the capability to b-be brave l-l-like you..."

 

If Harveste could read minds, she'd be thrilled right now- thrilled by just how kindly the woman was thinking of her, let alone how the woman spoke. Born with the ability to be brave? That was bologna to the girl, there was no way that was true. How could someone with as much anxiety as there was blood in her body be seen as 'inherently brave' or brave at all?

"If I were as brave as you said, I wouldn't be crying as often as I have been, I think." Though her words felt cold, her eyes held warmth against the pain that panged in her chest. "If I were brave, I wouldn't be this jealous. I wouldn't be afraid to see her the way I've been."

Her hand moved to clamp over her mouth. Her self hatred was showing, and it was showing bad. Behind her fingers, she bit her lip tightly, lucky it didn't bleed from the slight pain she purposely created for herself.

When she let the pain linger as she let her lips let go, she moved her hand back to her side and jumped up to kiss the stranger's cheek with a grin. "You know, when I first started working on learning to use singing to use my magic... The girl I love told me something that might have helped my 'bravery' you say you see, at the time."

Running after having done something she herself was embarrassed by, she made sure she was a good few yards away, turning her back to Luna and beginning to sing. She sang a song with a tune that was a mild, operatic melody- perhaps to match her somewhat high singing voice, which was carried through her stretched out hand that led towards the trees before her.

"Let your flower bloom~
Let your petals color the room~
You need not hurry to assume~
That you'd even need a broom~

While pain feels awful bad,
There's a reason for feeling sad-
But after crying, you'll be glad
As your tears grow a lily pad~

It's okay to feel alone~
Through this you've surely grown-
Just take your time,
Past or prime
And surely, you'll be fine~"​

Done with her song, the longest piece of the strange lyrics she'd turned into spell in the start with help from someone dear, the girl turned to face the woman with a grand grin despite the tears that had stained her cheeks as she sang along.

"When my songs were no good, I was in pain... But she reminded me to sing from my heart. If you want to change, you have to start there, I think, no matter what kind of change it is. I'm going to work hard to light up the darkness I've been feeling through my songs. I'll work hard to write a song for you too. A song to change the both of us... And perhaps, even to save us. After all... What we're doing right now by hiding from ourselves isn't healthy, you know? I promise, after decades in therapy, there's truth in the need to rely on one another in life. If we work together, even our worst enemies- ourselves- can surely be defeated and turned into friends."

Turning away, she added a silent wish that her words would be true. It was easier to say that she would get stronger and accept her darkness, than it was to actually do. "It's scary for me too... But I'm glad, whether you're unnerved by it or not, that I got to meet you. That I've met everyone I've met so far is the truest blessing I've received in this world. In time, I'm sure you'll see it too."

 

"I-I-I um, I-I don't think it's w-w-w-w-weak to cry o-o-or to feel j-j-jealous. I-I-I think i-it takes somebody s-s-strong t-to push past those things, e-e-even if just for a moment!" Was it a measure of true strength that a girl like Harveste could push aside her own struggles and pains to try to help somebody else? Luna couldn't be sure what the world as a whole would think, but in her mind something like that was probably one of the best displays of inner strength that she'd ever seen. Not that she'd seen too many in her short lifetime, but it was the thought that counted.

Being kissed, on the cheek or not, was something Luna was absolutely never going to be prepared for, stumbling backwards as a crimson painting of blush covered the canvas of her face, staining pure white with her embarrassment. Why had the fairy girl just kissed her all of a sudden!? Didn't she had a girlfriend already? How would that Kaede person feel if she'd seen that?

Before she could get any more words out, Harveste suddenly ran ahead and span around, before singing something, a song of some kind. Whether it were a song from the real world, or something of Harveste's own design, Luna didn't know, but either way she'd never heard it before in her life. It was strange, on purpose for sure, that the lyrics felt so directly targeted, though whether they were aimed at herself or Harveste was completely unclear to Luna, she'd probably never really know the truth. Only the one who created something knew what it was truly for, after all.

And sure, she take guess after guess, make one assumption after the other, but in truth she didn't really want to. Harveste's words were moving, she had a way of speaking that made everything sound like a fairytail, in which a lesson was hidden that you were supposed to learn. She was wiser than her age made her appear, that was definitely for sure. It was truly difficult to find words and whether they would be to refute or confirm the fairy girl's beliefs was anybody's guess. But she felt every bit her real age, a lost teenager being given life lessons by somebody that was clearly older and wiser than herself.

She sighed, smiling sadly as she blinked back tears that threatened to begin. Not now. She couldn't cry now, especially if Harveste was managing to both be strong and cry in front of her. The least she could do was try to hold it all together. "I-I-I um, I d-d-don't really know what to say to a lot of that..." She admitted, raising her right hand to rub at her left bicep, looking off to the side where a bird landed on a nearby branch. "I-I-I doubt it's much of a s-s-surprise that I'm um, young in real life..." Young was an understatement. Not even sixteen yet. She definitely had time to pull herself together.

"I-I-I can't w-write songs or c-create music. I-I'm n-not an a-artist or a p-performer..." Wow, there really wasn't a lot that she could do, now that she thought about it. But didn't that make her something else? Something just a little more valuable? "B-b-but I'm a-a blank slate, i-in a way." She smiled, looking back to Harveste, though she wasn't really sure what else to say, she was just rambling now. Who was one of the wisest people she knew? What would they tell her? "I-I um, I remember m-my dad t-telling me that t-time isn't m-medicine at all. H-he said it's a g-good painkiller, b-but it never heals you..."

She sighed, taking a few steps towards Harveste, wiping a few tears out of her left eye, though the flowed freely from her covered right eye, the tear tracks barely visible beneath the flower. "I-I guess i-i-if time c-can't heal things, i-it falls t-to people to make things better...?" She wasn't too sure she'd made a whole lot of sense, even as she spread her arms in the pose of a person that was offering a hug. It wasn't something she did a whole lot, but Harveste seemed like she needed somebody else to be strong for her for a moment, or at least be weak alongside her. And if nothing else, Luna was far too empathetic not to offer herself as that person, if only for a brief moment.

 

It had been obvious by the blush that took over what was once a pure pale face that even a kiss on the cheek was a bit too much for Luna. "Sorry about that. I've grown up being taught that certain things like that aren't to be embarrassed by. A kiss on the cheek is a greeting." She moved to put her finger to her lips, adding, "A kiss from mouth to mouth never is, though. That's for one person alone..."

Though she said that, she knew well it hadn't always been that way for her. It hadn't been that way from the beginning with her lover, either, and that reminded her of why she'd been suddenly getting a pep talk in the first place from the stranger she managed to make uncomfortable.

"I've never been the type until recently to get jealous. My girlfriend and I met knowing neither of us was originally the type to fall in love with only one person." Only half of the statement, the earliest part, was a lie- and it was an obvious one, too, as Harveste struggled to even look in the direction of the one she told it to.

She knew she couldn't lie for her life, but she'd wanted to try. "Okay, so I've always had light jealousy on and off... But that's not really fair, is it? Not when I know I can't just love on person. Or at least, that I couldn't."

It had taken time after her song to really feel at ease being near the woman again- but she was able to, and she was able to smile more wholeheartedly after having whined a bit distinctly.

"I wouldn't know if you were young or old myself," the musician soon mused. Her lips had returned to a gentle smile, her hands kept behind her as she often did to hide the way her fingers twisted awkwardly around each other like a gymnast's. Perhaps it was because she'd gotten better with her rogue skills, but she was pretty good at flexing her joints.

That, or the game had read her mind about her true skills of hyper-extension in the real world. But who cared, really? The fact was, it meant she could use that coping skill again.

"I didn't mean you had to really write a song. I was mostly just explaining an abstract concept with an analogy I hoped would work. The point is... Just like I have to sing from my heart..." She got closer, though only slightly. Just enough to hold a hand out within arms reach, her gentle eyes remaining on the ground so long as she could keep them open.

"To really grow- as a person, I mean- you have to start at the heart. It takes time. Though... It's interesting to me you were taught that time isn't medicine. I'm a bit older, so maybe that's why, but... I was originally taught 'time heals all wounds'. It's nice you weren't taught that lie."

Laughter left her lips as much as her words had, though she soon managed to peek up to see the tears from one eye of her conversational-partner, and the way she struggled to control one side over the other. The covered eye's tears flew freely down her cheek, while the other eye seemed to be regularly kept from crying, a hand keeping the tears from getting all that far.

Despite having promised herself she wouldn't do anything else that was 'too much' for someone who couldn't help being intimidated by a kiss on the cheek, the small girl got closer and wiped the tears from near the flower-covered eye with her limber forefinger, smiling. "Life is a team sport, true. It's like you said. What time can't heal, people have to heal together."

For someone who'd just been struggling with fighting her internal darkness, it was hard to believe how at ease she was starting to feel. "And sometimes, just telling someone your woes can help a lot. You may not realize it yourself yet, but... You're someone who can truly help people. Without even trying to, you've helped me, you know? And I bet if you weren't fighting your own fears, your own troubles... If you hadn't told me them, I bet I'd have been too scared to talk of my own. And even with your stutter, you've managed to talk me down, too. You've taught me of your own accord, and that's even with your anxiety. Isn't that an amazing feat?"

 

Ah, being raised to think of a kiss on the cheek as a greeting certainly did explain it way better, now that Luna stopped to consider it. It didn't mean she wouldn't find it completely awkward and embarrassing if it ever happened again, Harveste was now the first person besides her parents to kiss her after all, but at least she could now properly understand it a little bit better than before.

She wasn't sure exactly what to say to most of what Harveste said in response to her little speech about jealousy and anxiety being normal, honestly anything she'd come up with now would be disingenuous at best and a flat out lie at worst. She didn't want to be a liar, especially to somebody as nice to her as Harveste, greeting kiss not withstanding. The less that she thought about that, the better off she'd probably be.

Once everything returned to more of a light-hearted mood after the song, Luna smiled when Harveste admitted to not being able to tell whether she was young or old. She'd honestly thought it'd be obvious that she was pretty young and not all that wise, all she could do was recycle helpful advice that other people had given to her, she hadn't exactly learned anything by herself after all. For all the deeper thinking that she tended to do, she sure as hell hadn't come to any deep or meaningful revelations about herself.

She did blush at the fact that she'd managed to somehow miss out on the main point of whatever Harveste had tried to tell her with the singing analogy, having read it as the girl telling her that the best was to deal with her problems was through a creative outlet of some kind. Some type of non-destructive vice, like singing or painting. Seemed she'd definitely missed the mark there. She giggled, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment, before freezing as the girl stepped closer to wipe away her tears for her, her cheeks lighting up with a slight coating of pink.

Had she really managed to help Harveste? How though? "I-I-I....a-all I d-d-did was s-s-stand here and l-listen...?" Was that all she'd needed to do? Was being there for somebody really the solution? It all seemed so easy, in hindsight. Just a few simple words, yet she hadn't even managed to notice until now. She smiled, the beginnings of a grin settling on her face, lighting up with a brighter smile than she'd shown yet. "Y-y-y'know...I-I'm g-g-g-glad that we met..." She wiped at both of her eyes, looking into the girl's eyes for a brief second.

"A-a-and e-e-everything you s-said about me g-goes for you too. You, um, you really did manage to help me a lot, y'know..." She hadn't really realized she'd managed to get an entire sentence out without stuttering once, too caught up with trying pay compliments back to Harveste. She wanted the girl to know that she'd helped, after all. "I think....I think I can make...a little more light with you around..." She smiled, opening her palm menu and sending a friend request to the girl. She might as well make it official.

 

She was trying so hard not to laugh at this point, realizing just how familiar to her past Luna seemed to her. Though she still had many similar thoughts as Luna seemed to have, there was a time when Harveste would never believe that just listening could be helpful to anyone.

Okay, so she still often thought otherwise if it was her that was 'being helpful'. But that was just because she had a knack for self-defeating thoughts. In reality, she knew how important an open mind and ear could be for those around her, and for herself.

"I'm guessing by your saying that you don't have much experience with therapy." She hadn't meant to say it so bluntly, but it was the first thing that came to the small adult's mind. "Sometimes, the best therapy for an aching heart is simply to accept that it's aching and have someone to share it with, whether it's another person or a pet. Sometimes, the best support you can have is just knowing someone is there at all. That's the point of a 'safety net'. Or at least... That's what they've always told me."

If asked who 'they' were, it would be an even bigger explanation than her explanation of why it mattered. She'd had many people try to help her through the rough patches in life- many of which were doing it for money, others who did it just to be kind. Whether it was a physician, a friend, or a family member, there was one thing she'd been taught many times over her life.

Humans, no matter where they were, were social creatures. Even if at the moment she was not a human, but a faerin, that natural need didn't really change all that much.

It was hard for her to tell, however, what it was that made her the happiest at this moment: that Luna had been so kind, so similar, or had just managed to fight her anxiety far more than she realized without noticing at all. If she had noticed it, the woman was good at holding back the detail that she'd realized it. In her mind, Harveste deemed it better not to push that subject back into the open.

It could just be a fluke, after all.

To her surprise, a pop up appeared on her UI out of the blue, her gentle smile warming as she moved to accept the friend request. "I hope we'll make lots of light and happiness together from now on, too." Her hand extended but not too close, just enough to offer a more 'proper' greeting, despite having already had enough unusual methods of doing so done without consent.

"And surely, you'll bring light to lots of other people too, as time goes by. Like time, we all move forward. You know?"

 

"T-therapy....?" The stutter was back, though whether it was because of the sheer suddenness of the idea of therapy or whether she was just back to being super nervous was beyond anybody's guess. Why had Harveste mentioned therapy. "I uh, I mean I've never been to any sort of proper therapy. I just, y'know, talk to my mom a lot..." Her parents were her first and last lines of defense, her strongholds in the storm of life. She was honestly closer to them than she felt she could ever be, they were the people that kept her standing and waking up with a smile. It was a nice feeling, to have such caring and strong parents, though she felt it might be a good idea to not bring them up too much.

She wasn't sure what 'they' that Harveste was talking about, but judging by the topic that'd been brought up Luna felt it was safe to assume that she meant different therapists she'd seen, both professionals or just people that maybe cared about her. Maybe the girl was also super close to her own parents just like Luna herself was? She really hoped so, she always felt bad when she heard about people being estranged or distant from their blood relatives.

She did struggle to keep the grin off of her face when Harveste accepted her friend request, smiling as the girl mentioned making more light together. In truth, she wasn't really sure how they would go around making things light, but she was sure that as long as they had each other and their own network of friends, they'd find something. Everybody's happiness was a little bit different, after all. At least, that was another thing that her father had told her, as a way of teaching her that things that made her happy didn't always make others feel the same way.

"I....I think you're right, about a lot of things you've said today..." She glanced down at her feet, before looking at the hand that Harveste had outstretched to her, reaching out and grasping it lightly. She blushed a little, though she was still smiling. "But the b-biggest thing you're right about is....is that we have to keep moving forwards. Running away from it, g-going to where we feel safe is moving backwards." She blinked away a few tears. "And that's....that's not good...for anybody..."

 

For someone who'd basically lived on therapeutic aid most of her life, it was interesting to find someone who she felt was so similar to her that hadn't needed it- or at least, hadn't tried it. It made sense though, if Luna's parents were a good source of insight and comfort. The girl couldn't help smiling a bit from hearing it, and seeing the slight softness she felt emitting from Luna as she brought her mother up.

"Being able to rely on your parents for support is a major thing. Just remember, the more people in your 'safety net', the better. Well, that's what I was told anyway. Sometimes a topic is just hard to talk about with someone that's a family member, I think. But to be honest, I talk to my dad about just about anything too."

It was easy for her to smile thinking about her family, even if her family was a bit less in number and rather constrictive in which parts of it she actually felt safe around. The grin just grew the more she watched her new friend, however, likely because Luna's own happiness was uniquely infectious- if nothing else, because she was still not used to seeing the girl so happy since meeting her (though it was all in one day).

The other matter was that Luna was still managing to speak without much stuttering at all. That factor was a major interest point to the faerin- though the more she enjoyed thinking about something, the harder it was for her naturally blunt honesty to show through.

Failure came inevitably. She couldn't hold it in.

"I just noticed-" Okay, that part was an obvious lie, but it felt right when she said it. "Did you realize your stuttering has mostly stopped? It makes me feel super proud of you~" Her hands moved to clasp together before her, an almost prayer-position as she held them to her chest. Her meaning was sincere, though she felt bad saying she'd 'just noticed it' when she'd noticed it easily the first sentence it happened.

Luna was growing quickly in her heart right before her eyes. It was both a miracle and a generally awe-inspiring fact. It was something to cherish, or so she'd surely decided.

The moment she felt a warm hand connect with her own, she noticed the slight blush return and the tears being blinked away. The words that came alongside the vision of gentleness were inspirational in nature, and had a truth that was important to remember. So true she wanted to write them down, but not so desperately she'd let go of her new friend just yet.

"Truer words may never have been spoken. The importance of moving forward is major, no matter how hard it can be at times." Actually, the fact reminded her of a song. The itch to sing was catching her throat, but she held it back, if only for the moment. She wouldn't sing it without permission. "There's a song that you made me think of by saying that... It's a bit of an oldie. Do you like any jazz? If so, it's one I'd recommend~ It really reflects that line well."

 

This safety net that Harveste was talking about, it was probably fair to assume that she was talking about the network of people around that could support them and that the more people they had in it, the safer and happier they would end up being in the long run. It was definitely an interesting philosophy, though Luna did wonder whether it was the quantity of support or the quality of support that mattered the most when it came to managing to help somebody with their own inner demons. Was it better to have lots of people that were there for you but didn't really understand, or to have only a few people that could completely understand what you needed?

Either way, she could definitely agree that having people there for her made things easier to handle, whether they be extraordinary things or the everyday struggles of her normal life. Even being just another average person sometimes took its toll on the mind, especially when you fell into the same traps or routines that you wanted to avoid. School sometimes piled the pressure on, or for others perhaps work pressures would mount and things could get tense at home.

Then Harveste mentioned that Luna hadn't been stuttering as much. Said girl blinked, looking at Harveste quizzically before glancing at her own hand, reaching up to toy with the flower on her face nervously. Had her stuttering settled? "I-I h-h-haven't been stuttering a-as much...?" She took a deep breath, looking around at the trees surrounding them. She'd not been paying a whole lot of attention to the fact that they'd been talking, that she'd been in a conversation. She'd been way more focused on what they were talking about rather than the act of talking itself.

She swallowed, trying to force herself to stop focusing on the fact that they were still talking, though now that her concentration had been somewhat broken, she could feel the nerves rushing back to her. That same slight weakness in her knees returned, the urge to fiddle awkwardly with her hands, the ever so slight desire to just clam up and say nothing whenever she was addressed. She sighed inwardly. And she'd made progress for a minute there too...

"A-a-a song? I um, I d-d-don't tend to listen to jazz, sorry..." She wracked her brain. She definitely didn't know of the song that Harveste was talking about, jazz was more her dad's genre of music. "M-m-my dad k-knows more a-about jazz. H-he had his own jazz band back in school, I think..." Maybe he'd recognize it if he were here? It was entirely possible. Heck, maybe even her mom would know it!

 

During moments of silence when Luna was deep in thought, Harveste had a strong wish she could read the girl's mind if only to learn the complexities that went on in that gentile brain.

"A penny for your thoughts?" She hadn't actually meant to say it, and honestly, it was another weird language bit she found peculiar whenever she used it. That said, it probably didn't help how much she watched one particular anime that used it as a pun for a therapy game because of a character dubbed to be named 'Penny'. "I've noticed you appear to be quite the deep thinker. Sometimes you go silent, but I feel like I can see the gears running in your mind. It makes me curious. Deep thinkers always make me curious, because the things they ponder can be pretty amazing and insightful, you know?"

She was making excuses for something stupid and she knew it. She laughed timidly to rebel against her inner idiot that couldn't stop the sputtering of complex, pointless reasoning for her question. Considering it was common for her to bubble with questions out of nowhere, she decided it might help to warn the girl about the habit and it's background, if only because she knew it made herself anxious, and that would make it likely for someone so equally nervous to feel similar.

"I'm actually a writer so... I tend to get wordy without thinking and always end up wanting to know as much as I can about people. Never feel a need to actually answer when I ask things, kay? Your comfort is important. I just lack a filter."

Softly, she felt one of her hands tickle her cheek, scratching lightly to hide the light bead of sweat despite the chill in the air, caused by the same thing making her neck hairs stand slightly. Embarrassment and anxiety went hand in hand, always. And right now, she was just on fire from losing her self-control.

"It's okay, a lot of people our age don't really listen to it much. I've just always had similar taste in music to my dad. Rock, jazz, blues- those are the kinds of things I listen to a lot when I do. Though to be honest, my favorite is usually stuff not even in English. Both to sing and to listen, it has a unique impact on the heart." She was doing it again, explaining things she didn't need to, going into details that likely didn't matter. "A-Anyway, the song I started thinking of is one that's really, really old. It's almost a hundred years old at this point, and it's been done by a whole lot of artists, including some really well known ones, like Frank Sinatra. It's called 'Pick Yourself Up'. I feel it fits people like us, who are struggling to grow and wanting to get better with things that we struggle with in general."

Without thinking, she began to hum the tune. Even though she was embarrassed by it, she couldn't help how much she enjoyed it- and even if she wouldn't say the words, she seemed to mouth them as she let the melody flow from her lips. Silently, the words flew upon the same air as her hum. She stopped partway through when she realized what she was doing, however. "Er- what kind of music do you usually listen to, then, anyway? I'd like to know more about your preferences, over mine or your parents. The music we like can say a lot about us... And it's fun to find out about new types, to me."

At moments like these, she couldn't help feeling lucky she wasn't a cat. This kind of curiosity would kill her otherwise- even if it had been the cause of her first death in this world as it was. Mulling it over even as she was trying to listen for Luna's response, she began to mumble the words going through her head.

"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back... Might be a good slogan for this world, huh..."

 

"H-huh? P-penny?" So the fairy girl had noticed that she tended to go silent when she wasn't sure what she should say, or was thinking heavily about a certain subject, had she? Well, Luna supposed that she didn't exactly hide the fact that she did a heck of a lot of deep thinking all of the time. Maybe it came hand in hand with being an introvert? Or maybe she was just always going to be the type of person to think about something a lot before coming to her own conclusions, no matter what sort of person that she ended up as? She did struggle to make snap decisions sometimes, after all.

"O-oh, n-no I don't mind answering questions..." Unless they were super invasive questions or could possibly put her in danger, she didn't see any harm in answering questions that people asked her. Of course, things like her real name and address were completely out of the question for strangers, but that didn't have to mean that she couldn't talk more about herself to people she liked. "I um, I w-was just pondering as to, uh, whether the quality of the people in this 'support net' matters the most o-or the q-quantity of people in it?" Maybe Harveste would have more of an informed opinion? Probably.

She did make a huge mental note to give the song that Harveste had been thinking about a listen to when she got home, though she wasn't super sure as to what she thought about something being that old. Surely, to be that old and still be covered and adored by people now, it must be a pretty incredible or deep song. Or maybe it was something that just resonated with certain people, or had been targeted specifically at people like Harveste and herself. Hearing Harveste hum the tune of the song was nice though. Harveste had a nice singing voice, even her humming sounded nice.

As for her own taste in music, she'd always thought she was a kind of boring girl in that regard. "I-I um, I tend to like acoustic music. Y'know, an acoustic g-guitar, a-a piano, some vocals..." Typically softer, less heavy on the ears stuff was really her bread and butter. She'd even attempted to pick up the guitar to emulate it, though she'd only really just learned the chords. "The um, the language d-d-doesn't matter a whole lot. I-if I want to understand them I-I just f-f-find a few translations..."

Since they were asking questions more now and since she had no clue how to react to Harveste's mutterings about cats and curiosity, maybe it was fair game for her to ask a question. "W-w-what about your songs? W-w-when you cast a spell? A-a-are they s-songs from reality? O-or do you w-write them yourself?"

 

"It's an old adage that honestly I don't fully get, like many others. I mean... A person's thoughts are worth a lot more than a penny." She giggled, glad to have been accepted despite her pesky tendency to be nosy about things like this. It was fun to listen to Luna's inquiry, to the way she thought so heavily about the concept of quantity over quality.

Like she thought, this girl was intellectual and insightful on many accounts. "Quality vs. quantity... I think it has a lot of factors that it depends on. Quantity has its purpose, but quality is also important. It's a big deal to know who's healthy to be around and who's not for yourself, whether it's a family member or a friend. But at the same time... There are some things a person feels less comfortable talking to one person about than another. Like how a lot of girls get uncomfortable talking about their personal puberty issues with their dads, or how you'd generally complain to a friend more than to your folks when it's a family issue bothering you that you don't want the other party to know about."

It was a complicated concept, she was aware. It was spoken that way because honestly, she didn't know any other way to explain her reasoning- proofs and the like were always one of her downfalls in school, if she looked back. For her, the problem with language classes had never been 'hitting the required word count', for sure.

"Quality is important, but... That's harder to find for certain with friends and family, or in my experience it is. Even if someone seems like a quality friend to confide in... There are things you might find not best to share with them, if only because you don't know how it'll come back at you later. Quality is easier to get with things like doctors or therapists and the like, since they're trained and have to follow strict laws. That may be why at times, I felt safer talking to them- because legally, they can't tell anyone anything I say unless it's a sign I'm about to hurt someone, myself or otherwise."

Good ol' 'confidentiality' policies were a great thing in her mind, aside from how it had required paperwork regularly, whenever she had to get a new clinician for any reason. "Some psychiatrists, if someone needs one, are able to do double duty. In situations like that, quantity is easily lessened too."

The topic had probably lost steam well before she finished talking, but she was more than glad to watch Luna when she listened, and even more so to hear her talk about her own interests. What was it about hearing the things someone liked that made them even more intriguing to her? In this case, it helped that she could relate in some way, of course.

"I don't meet many people whose favorites are acoustic, but I must say, I like your taste. My favorite thing when I visited my grandma when I was younger was getting to hear my uncle play guitar- he was really, really good. Acoustic music is nice because it's mild and easy on the ears, which I desperately need. I think that may be why when I wanted to take up an instrument and found strings and wind weren't my thin, I ended up on piano myself."

Grinning, it made her ponder. "Say, do you play any instruments? Not necessarily here, but in our world too. I'm always interested in meeting fellow musicians. Whether you do or don't... I'd recommend neko funjata as an acoustic song to listen to. At the least, it's my favorite to play. It's slightly upbeat, but still mellow in the way acoustic sounds are."

As she thought about it, she might think the song a lot like polka based on the way she played it. It was an old love, and a reminder of something she wished she could do in the world right here. But, she couldn't dwell long.

Luna had gotten the curiosity bug and boldly gave a question right back!

"Most of the songs I use for spells are ones I wrote myself on the fly. I may try using some songs that aren't my own sometime, as I grow my skills, but... It's refreshing to write my own. I've always enjoyed writing poetry anyway, so it's just another use for it, you know?"

In fact, she had gotten an idea from that concept, and made sure to take mental note of it. She'd have to delve deeper into naturamancy to know if it would even work from her thoughts- but the song itself would be fond as a memory as was the nostalgia that brought it upon her.

"This question's gonna sound weird... But since I rarely meet fellow acoustic lovers, I have to ask. Do you happen to have a unique ear, as it might be called? Acoustic music isn't just calming. It's mild in many ways... So sometimes I wonder, when I meet a fellow lover of it, if perhaps one of the perks from it that they enjoy is that it's quieter, like me."

 

Ah, well at least the penny saying wasn't something that only she didn't understand, which would've been fairly embarrassing. She probably couldn't help it though, she was only really fifteen in the real world, even if this version of herself was a little older, prettier and just better in every way she could have possibly made herself. Compared to Eva, Luna was leagues better in every regard. It was both nice and sort of upsetting, in a way. She'd made the ideal version of herself, yet she could never really achieve it in the real world without some drastic measures and just hoping her genes lined up perfectly.

Though, she was slightly concerned that Harveste seemed to just jump straight into the quality vs quantity thought she'd had, in much more detail and with way more clarity than Luna herself had pondered it, though it was to be expected if Harveste really did have experience with therapy and multiple people trying to help her through her problems. Luna doubted she'd ever go to therapy though. She didn't want to have to breach that topic with her parents, or really trouble a therapist with her problems when that time could be better used to aid somebody with a more serious issue.

So when the topic returned to music again, Luna was glad for it, happy to take respite from their deeper thoughts to just get to know each other a little better. And hey, bonus, they had similar tastes in music! "R-right! I um, I picked up the acoustic guitar b-but I'm not sure how good I'd be c-classed as. I know every chord though, w-which is something!" It couldn't be too bad of an accomplishment considering that she'd taught herself using books and web tutorials, right? Sure she couldn't play any amazing songs yet, but now she had her foundations covered she could start learning to play the songs she liked!

But it was most interesting to hear that Harveste wrote her own lyrics for her spells, which was definitely an impressive feat in Luna's eyes. No way could she actually manage to write her own lyrics, poetry or not. Her writing skills were just a step above garbage outside of english lessons, because in those she'd learned what her teacher typically looked for in a piece of writing. There were goals to hit there, she wasn't writing anything totally unique or crazy.

"Unique....ear?" She had no clue what the smaller girl meant by that, at all. What on earth did she mean by unique ear? Was she asking if she had unique tastes? "W-well uh, I do like how quiet it is. It doesn't induce, y'know, headaches and stuff yet can be just as emotional as some of the heaviest music I've ever heard. The simple nature of it makes it...feel real, I suppose?"

 

Seeing a deep thinker lost in their mind always left an unusual pang in the faerin's chest. Her natural curiosity and ability to relate made her always wonder if she'd be able to guess the workings of the other party's mind, apparently having a strong interest in understanding others in nature. Perhaps taking some psychology classes wouldn't hurt, in the end.

She'd have to think about that concept later.

"That's impressive to me, that you can play guitar. I actually tried to learn once... My uncle that I mentioned, he got my a guitar for my birthday one year when I was little. I just... Somehow, I couldn't get it no matter how hard I tried. In high school, I took part in our school band that was mostly guitarists. My teacher somehow had a hunch I'd be better off as the keyboardist... It worked out, but I mean... I was kind of jealous I guess, that all the others got more close up aid. He didn't know any piano himself, but he was an epic guitar player."

It was an old memory she hadn't really taken to heart in the past. Admitting she'd been jealous of her classmates felt strange, considering she did get extra aid from the teacher in other ways. It wasn't like it was bad anyway, being on a separate instrument. In fact, having been on the piano made her happy, and she often got to play around with it during jams adding old and new songs together.

"I'd like to hear you play sometime. Do you have any particular songs you like to play when you practice? Knowing the chords is an important step. Next is finding something that makes it fun to practice!"

With a soft grin, she couldn't help but get excited, trying to imagine just what Luna's guitar would be like in the end. She brought a finger to her lips, thinking aloud. "I stink with it in the real world, but maybe a lute wouldn't be so bad. There's all sorts of instruments that might fit this setting, if I can find them. I doubt I can find a portable piano, so I've been thinking of an ocarina. Maybe a guitar or violin would be better?"

Glancing in her friend's direction, her eyes glistened with the clear intent of getting an answer to a question she barely asked. She wanted the opinion of someone else who loved music, particularly the kind she'd want to play. She wanted to be given some sort of approval.

"Oh, by unique ear... Well, in my case, I was kind of thinking we might have a similar hearing anomaly. See... One reason I like acoustic, as I said, is because it's quieter usually, easier on the ear drums. That's because, like my sense of smell, my sense of hearing is pretty corrupt. I hear ten times louder than normal people, the doctors say. I've gotten better about dealing with it- I don't need my ear defenders as often- but... It does affect my musical choices and such, you know? I was curious what lead you to the same road."

 

Oh! It seemed that Harveste had taken her admission of playing the guitar as an admission of actually being able to play songs! Luna rapidly shook her head, giggling despite herself. She was nowhere near good enough to play actual songs yet, she'd only really grasped chords properly a few weeks ago. She'd have to look for a song to practice playing though, considering that she actually quite enjoyed the guitar in her off time. And hey, Harveste played the piano! Maybe if she could muster up the nerve, they could meet up in real life and play for each other! Wouldn't that be cool!?

"N-no I don't k-know any songs yet, b-but when I figure out a song to play I-I'll let you know! A-and I'd l-l-like to be able to play for you, s-some time..." She smiled, nodding along with her own words, half trying to convince herself that they were true. She really did want to play for Harveste eventually, but she wasn't really all that sure if she'd ever manage to bring herself to do it. "I-I'd also l-like to hear you play. Y-you sound like y-you have a g-great sense of music." She was almost certain she'd like every song the girl recommended or played.

As for what the girl could play in the game, Luna giggled slightly at the thought of Harveste playing an ocarina. It was so fitting, for some reason she felt that fairy characters and ocarinas kind of went hand in hand with one another, though for the life of her she couldn't remember it now. "I-I think y-you'd do really good with an ocarina, i-it also sort of fits. I um, I don't know why I think so, but a fairy girl with an ocarina makes a lot of sense for some reason." Maybe Harveste would know? She really hoped so and it wasn't just her mind being weird.

As for the hearing anomaly thing, Luna shook her head with a sad smile. Whilst she'd have liked them to have that in common, as far as she was aware, they didn't. "N-no. I-I do like it because it's calming, b-but also because louder songs tend to g-give me headaches. Especially ones with heavier sounds..." Rock music especially did bad things to her poor head, particularly heavy metal and the like. "I um, I dunno if that's similar to what you get...?"