Private - Quiet Words

It was proving to be a long night, and Nalani was getting tired. She'd found herself a size able rock to sit down on, and currently had her chin resting against her hand, elbow on her knee as she used her wand to draw conclusions in the dirt below. There was a big 'A-E-I-D' with other little questions around it and answers to some of the questions that Nalani had come up with. They probably weren't right, but she just needed something to calm the questions. It made them less loud in her head, almost to the point where she thinking that she could maybe get some sleep tonight if she wanted to. She had her sleeping bag set up near Alphabet and Terry in case the two of them needed some help throughout the night. She wondered how she was doing? Hopefully better... She seemed kind of of when Nalani had talked to her last, and that worried the girl.

Letting out a deep sigh, she traced over the sentence on top of all of them again, which read 'What does this mean?'. Honestly, it really sucked to have something bother her this much. Anxiety was something that all around messed with her, but to be feeling like this in a place where she should be enjoying herself really, well... It really bothered her. And not being able to share it with anyone else also bothered her. She didn't want to seem like a pain or she was getting attention, nor did she want everyone else to lash out at her for doing something potentially harmful to the group. Maybe it did something so bad that at some point knocked Nalani out of commission? She already felt like she wasn't being as extroverted as she should be, she didn't need to be even more out of it.

Those kind of thoughts plagued her mind ever since they got out of that stupid place. It was all guilt and negativity, maybe even irrational, which she needed to dispel, but it was hard when you felt like you weren't helping the team. She must put herself out there this time!... If she was able to. Letting out another sigh, she sat back slightly and turned her gaze from the words she wrote in the dirt and up to the sky, studying the the dark expanse above her. When would the next person be out for watch? She hadn't checked in who was taking her spot...

@Jack Anders​

 

With the night growing old, little else could be heard stirring about the camp save for a few night owls and antsy individuals. Jack himself had logged out earlier, opting to get a good night’s rest in the comfort of his own bed rather than the less than accommodating bedrolls the game provided. Having woken up to the alarm he had set, he’d log back in groggily while upholding the duty he had volunteered himself for.

Upon arriving at the campfire he’d look about curiously for the previous watch only to find a familiar face. It was Nalani, the one he had met on a couple of occasions now. He’d give a slow wave as given as he’d yawn lazily while moving to sit on one of the logs nearby. In hushed tones, the dark haired man spoke, his eyes fixated on the Felis with a vague expression.

“Thanks for the hard work. Hopefully it wasn't too boring, Nalani. Anything strange I ought to know about before sending you off? I'm sure you're tired enough as is.” Jack wasn’t really expecting any trouble during the night but it never hurt to ask, right? Considering the distance they had walked, physical or not, it had taken quite a mental toll on their lot. Were the game developers to defile this precious time they had to rest he wouldn’t be quite sure on how to react aside from cursing their names.

@Nalani Rosa

 

Nalani almost jumped into the air when Jack appeared beside her, snapping her from her daze as she turned her gaze towards him, meeting his vague expression with a semi-shocked one and then a small, but warm smile. She turned her gaze back down towards the ground, running her hand carefully along her white fluffy tail before letting it drop back behind her, eyes focusing in on her writing, "It wasn't too boring, no. Just... Quiet." she answered, before turning her gaze back up towards him again, studying his face carefully as if deciding what to do.

Should she tell him? He had asked her if she had anything strange to say... But it might just be bothersome, and she didn't want to do that. But... No, she ought to tell him. She trusted Jack secondly, next to Alpha, and her friend was under so much stress that she didn't feel comfortable enough to tell her. She pursed her lips a little before opening her mouth to speak, white ears drooping as if she was embarrassed, or afraid, "Honestly... Back in the mountain, when we heard those strange words... I recited them. I didn't think it would do anything, but ever since then I've had a strange status effect and haven't been able to stop thinking and asking questions, like... What does this mean? What language is this? How do I understand?" she spoke quietly, but it was obvious this had been bothering her for sometime as the words easily popped out of her mouth the more she spoke, "I didn't want to tell anyone, seeing as it's probably a bad thing."

And that it probably was, and she almost felt a little bit of guilt and even more embarrassment admitting that to Jack. She sighed and glanced towards the words drawn in the dirt, before looking back at the man again. She just... She had to ask it, "Did you apologize for what you did to Terry?" the tone of her voice came off as stern, but also soft and sweet, letting him know she meant business but didn't meant it to attack him. She just hoped her knew how much of an emotional toll it took on her small friend, even if she was changing the subject.

@Jack Anders​

 

The man listened to Nalani’s words with a soft expression and an understanding look. He too had been tempted to speak the magic words from before but had restrained himself only through constant mental reminders. Curiosity was a powerful force after all. He’d shake his head in a confused manner however after her first question, responding with a vagueness that conveyed his own lack of surety. “To be honest, I’m not sure what those sounds mean. I don’t plan on personally reciting them now or later, at least until they’re proven convenient. Judging from how much it plagues you at night… I’m still inclined to not do so. Knock on wood.” A soft chuckle was made as he’d laugh and knock on the log a couple of times.

“That said, you might as well commit since you’re already down the metaphorical rabbit hole. The others probably won’t approve but we’ll never know whether it leads to anything good when nobody’s willing to try right? Seems like you volunteered already anyway… for better or for worse. As for the rest, I’m afraid I don’t really have an answer for you.” A weak shrug was given. It was the honest truth. Jack might come off as fairly knowledgeable, but he could only work with the clues he was given. In this case the mage found himself groping in the dark to scrape at even the smallest insight.

Jack’s demeanor quickly changed however upon Nalani’s change of topic. He’d tilt his head slightly out of curiosity while turning to look towards her. His eyes were perhaps slightly more dead and cold than before as the light of the campfire flickered dimly within those hazel orbs. Again, a helpless shrug was given as the man turned back to face the fire. “No. And I don’t plan on apologizing.” A hollow tone rang out in these words, with little emotion backing them as he steeled his nerve and resolved to bear the consequences of his decision. “It was the right thing to do. I told her it was me though. I owe her that much. She didn’t seem too fond on listening to words after the fact, so I spared her the extra misery. No point in having her suffer longer to ease my own conscience.”

“Ah, that’s right. You’re a beast tamer too, aren’t you? Gonna condemn me for choosing to protect a conscious, sentient human’s mental health over a pixelated dog too?” His voice dripped thick with a bit of self ridicule as he asked this last bit.

@Nalani Rosa

 

The mood changed so fast as Nalani changed the subject, but honestly, she wasn't too surprised. It didn't seem to be a touchy subject on his part, but she was beginning to understand that when Jack believed he was right, he just believed he was right. Now, he didn't seem to be too unreasonable, as he never did anything mean on purpose, a least from what she'd seen. She knew that throwing Terry out in harms way had probably been their best plan of action in a situation like that, but it hadn't entirely been Jack's choice in the first place. Terry wasn't his dingo, nor was he his friend. And that was what bothered her mostly about the situation.

"No, no. I never said I was going to do that, or that I thought what you did wasn't right," she started slowly, watching the side profile of his face. Why did he look so... Detached? Disconnected? Almost as if he was expecting her to ridicule him based on what had happened, but that wasn't in Nalani's personality. Both Jack and Alphabet were her friends, different kinds with different situations but they were still her friends, and she was a caring person who could separate herself from emotions and look to facts and logic... Well, most of the time.

"Terry was the obvious candidate to throw out there. He's not really a party member, he's not even real... But I don't think that matters much. The point is, Jack, it wasn't your decision to use Terry nor did you even think about the mental toll it could have on Alpha if she lost someone she considers her best friend," she explained, running a hand nervously through her hair as she spoke. Hopefully this made sense to him... Hopefully she saw some of where she was coming from, "See it like this: There are people out there who dislike themselves. They come into here to live a different life, someone people even mingling with the npcs. In my opinion, that's even stranger than a little girls connection with a pixelated dog, but the point is that it feels real. You never know, but Alphabet might not have anybody in real life, and when she comes here, seeing Terry is the one thing she looks forward to."

She took a deep breath and turned her own gaze towards the fire, studying the flames, "It's hard to understand. Half the time, I can't even understand it. But it's real for some people, and you don't have to understand something to respect it, even if it may be a little silly," she said softly, resting her chin back on her hand and her elbow against her knee. Then suddenly she let out a little laugh, as if she was trying to lighten the mood, glancing over at Jack, "Or you can look at it like this- Without Terry, Alpha will be less helpful to the team. With half her mastery points shoved into her Beast Taming where someone might be using it to power something else, all she has is her dingo." Was she really one to speak? She hadn't even brought her beast to the raid.

@Jack Anders​

 

It didn’t seem as though the dark haired man was quite sold on the idea. A soft grunt of discontent sounded from his throat as he’d simply shrug and continue to stare off blankly into the flickering flames of the campfire. “That’s easy for you to say.” He’d pause for a moment, biting his bottom lip pensively before deciding to continue on with the conversation.

“And if I hadn’t made that choice, then what? Orson might be in the next world? Or maybe we might’ve permanently been down a raid member? It could’ve been you. How do you think she’d feel to watch you get killed if her mind is fragile enough to break from that dog taking the hit instead?” The expression on the mage’s face darkened as he’d rest his head in a palm while leaning forward against his knees. “She needed to send Terry in. That was our best bet. Do you really want to shove that responsibility on her if she cares that much about the darned thing? Can you live with forcing that girl to make that choice? It almost feels like my way was more merciful.”

A frustrated sigh sounded as he’d breath heavily with a bit of irritation. “What’s done is done. It won’t change, and even if it could, I wouldn’t go back and undo it. I’ll take a half useful member over a fully dead one. It’s not like the dog can’t be brought back anyway. That’s what you guys do, right?” A frown of displeasure formed across his face. He understood that beast taming required a degree of sympathy to form bonds with their companions, but why worry to such an extent considering they were essentially immortal?

@Nalani Rosa

 

Jack made up quite an argument. His words were strong, and she agreed with most of them... But he still wasn't getting her point, nor was he even trying to understand where she was coming from. She frowned a little bit at him, before looking down at her hands in her lap. Focusing on the conversation at hand kept her other thoughts at bay and offered her a little peace, but it was still upsetting, having a conversation like this. Alas... It needed to be done. He needed to somewhat understand, even though Nalani knew he would never fully look at it from her angle.

It wasn't until he spoke up about bringing Terry back that Nalani furrowed her eyebrows together, giving him a mixed look of confusion and excitement. She had no idea that was a thing, maybe it was down the line? However, that all turned into sadness a couple moments later, shaking her head at him and cocking her head to the side as she spoke, studying the mans face, "No, not that I know of. At least not at the skill level we're at. For all I know, once Terry is dead, he's dead." she said quietly, pushing some strands of her white hair out of her face before turned her gaze to the fire to watch the dancing flames.

Maybe it was part of a misunderstanding, but Nalani didn't know what to say anymore. He was so right that she couldn't fight it. So, she did the only thing she did know what to do in a situation like this- Apologize and take any blame for having a downer conversation. She brought it up in the first place, "I'm sorry, Jack... I know you did what was best for everyone, it's just really hard seeing Alphabet so torn up. You thought fast and did what was best for the team. It's just..." she stopped herself, though, before looking over at him and managing a small smile, "Don't worry about it." It just wasn't worth the hassle.

@Jack Anders​

 

Though his façade was perhaps about to change slightly upon hearing that Terry wasn’t in fact some immortal dog god that could be infinitely revived, Jack’s expression held steady and blank as his gaze continued to stare endlessly at the flickering flames of the camp fire. It wasn’t as if he had much to offer on that point. Again, even if the dog wasn’t able to be brought back… he still felt as though his decision was the correct one. Sure it was a tough call, but perhaps the dark haired man was more stubborn in his ways than needed.

It was too hard to tell anymore. The night had grown old and his senses had begun to dull, something he probably wouldn’t enjoy admitting considering his watch had only just now started.

Letting out a lazy yawn, he’d nod once slowly at the girl after finally averting his gaze from the flames and back towards his cat-like companion. “Why are you apologizing? Ha.” A weak and unconvincing laugh followed afterwards as he’d press onwards. “What are you, Canadian or something?” The man would stand from his previously stead position and walk over momentarily with an outstretched hand. He’d attempt to ruffle playfully at the hair between the girl’s ears before gently pushing her away and towards a vacant bed roll.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got some sleep to catch. Good ole Jack can take care of things from here. Okay?”

After trying to see her off he’d resume his place by the fire. Eyes and ears now alert, the man would simply continue to mull over various thoughts while the time idly passed by.

@Nalani Rosa

 

Nalani narrowed her eyes at him as he joked about her being Canadian, while in all honesty he was spot on. Her lips turned upwards into a satisfied smile at his small laugh, even if it wasn't the greatest, "Saying sorry shouldn't reveal the fact I'm Canadian." She said as a matter of fact, getting to her feet as he did. She was kind of surprised when he reached over to ruffle at her hair, but that quickly turned into embarrassment as her cheek lit up a soft shade of pink, enjoying the feeling of his hand rubbing against her head. It was weird, but it just felt kinda... Nice. Probably because she was a cat, and cats like being pet, right?

She stumbled towards the vacant bed roll, rolling her eyes playfully before glancing back at him, "Yah yah, I'm going." She paused for a moment in her spot, watching the man sit back down where he had been a couple moments before as her gaze seemed to soften a bit. Jack wasn't a bad guy, maybe stubborn and a little blind to the feelings of others, but definitely not a bad guy. She smiled to herself a bit before turning back towards the bed roll, picking it up and wrapping her arms around it carefully, "Have a good night, Jack. And don't think about it too much~" And with that she headed over to where Alphabet and Terry was sleeping for the night, checking in on the younger girl before setting up her own bed and slipping into it for the night.

~ Exit ~
@Jack Anders​

 

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