Lucia sat with Madison listening to her talk about herself. Pulling the woman into a tender embrace as she listened from start to finish. Occasionally nodding, other times a soft chuckle or apology in understanding. It was a very quiet atmosphere where Madison could talk comfortably on that gondola ride, the soft feeling of the waves and ripples of the liquid they were traveling on were a soft and subtle comfort as well. Lucia remained patient from start to finish, after all Madison's story was a familiar one, but at the same time one that stroked the envy in her. If she herself was special surely she'd shine brightly like Madison did, in her own mind she'd have something to be proud of if she was just a bit brighter. Still, she swallowed that envy, knowing it was best not to expose the ones she cared about to that dark feeling, instead she held onto Madison until she finally felt like posing her question. "Ah, is that how it seems on the outside? No, maybe that's a pretty accurate description." Lucia seemed to muse, using a hand to rub her own face briefly as she spoke, as if checking to see what kind of expression she was making. That typical gentle smile of Lucia's had always remained firm, the few moments it wasn't there was when things were at their darkest, when she was most genuine to an extent. "I suppose it's because it's so easy-- I mean, you're so special and bright, you all have all of the potential to be someone great, it's really fascinating. Being able to support you all as you rise to greater heights is so fun." She spoke with a mellow smile. Like a crack in glass or a mirror though, a bit of melancholy leaked through her gaze. There was always a wealth of sadness that Lucia kept restrained deep down, from time to time it would leak through, but it certainly roared and cried out from the deep whenever she needed to be at her best. "To you Madison, I might seem very powerful, capable or even clever, but that's only because I've been here for a long time. Despite working as hard as I do-- studying so profusely, there are still others who have gotten 'stronger' then me despite starting later." She explained, as that melancholy blossomed, Lucia's gentle smile slowly began to weaken, a much more genuine smile with a touch of sadness, quiet acceptance and serenity in it as she continued. "I worry it's already started happening for Vivian... Soon it will happen for Luna and Savannah as well, everyone is so special, so talented, soon a time will come when they realize that they don't need me any more. Perhaps it will be disappointing, noticing just how easy it is to reach far beyond me to the next level." She commented but the sad tranquility on her face didn't fade. If Madison was paying attention to Lucia's stats through the duration, she'd find the woman's skills were beginning to swell as her mood shifted. Even as she explained though, she still seemed a little hesitant. After all, would Madison still be interested in her if it wasn't for that power she exhibited? If it wasn't for her ability to teach others to achieve it, would Madison really have been interested in her? Thinking that, Lucia glanced towards Madison, that melancholy filled smile on her face still remained, the gentleness and affection in her gaze didn't waver despite the despairing thoughts. "Everyone is always so interested in me because they don't understand-- They see me and misunderstand me as someone powerful, someone intelligent and capable." She spoke, understanding that that was initially what brought Madison to her tent as well. "But unfortunately my power and intelligence comes from knowing being the lowest, as the weakest I know weakness better then anyone, as the slowest I try things smarter people wouldn't waste time on. I am powerful because I drag people down to my level-- I am smart because I don't have the sense to stop trying. I can stay humble and approachable, because I know well how unfortunate I am, I know very well that what I've built can't be considered real power or intelligence." Lucia explained. Though rather then being hurt by the self-criticism and the knowledge, where other people might seem frustrated or unresolved, Lucia only smiled faintly and continued with a small but steady nod. This was 'normal' it was 'typical', it was the unfortunate fate that had she'd been given even against her will. "Fortunately, this game isn't without it's own equalizer. If there is anything I am greater then anyone else at, it is envying others, it is giving up-- And this game allows me to translate that into spells and martial arts techniques. For that reason my style can at least keep up with those others who shine so incredibly brightly." She admitted with a dry chuckle, to an extent there was even a touch of self-mocking laughter. Her dark magic was powerful in the game purely because of the intense negativity she kept locked up deep inside. Her poor self-image, her self-hate, all of it manifested as powerful and overwhelming spells by chance or by fate she managed to scratch some sort of positive out of it with hard work and effort alone. "I smile though because I don't want to be remembered for being depressed. Madison... If you do eventually come to a point in your life where you move on and find someone that shines as brightly as you. When I'm left behind, I at least want to be remembered as someone who smiled brightly and laughed happily with you..." Lucia admitted tenderly, but that melancholy in her expression peaked along with her stats. That powerful and overwhelming defeatism seeped through, that well of hopelessness overflowed. It was the nihilism that earned Lucia the blessing of a Death Goddess. While it lasted only a flash, that darkness could make someone feel a sharp chill-- The darkness of someone who found their own life to be meaningless, who cared so little for their own fate that it was disturbing. Lucia in truth was someone who was still grasping at straws, looking for excuses to continue living, but as quickly as that desolate expression revealed itself, she seemed to swallow it back. Coughing briefly to try and change the mood, she chuckled dryly as if trying to change topics, but her words were failing her, she was supposed to be cheering Madison up, but things had gotten darker because of her answer to an innocent question. Lucia felt a bit of guilt over it, and tried to bitterly smile through it. "Well, I mean... That's why I try really hard to be happy for people." She tried to conclude.
Madison sat in silence while the priestess laid bare her heart and the infinite sadness stored inside. She remained still, her features neutral, her fingers still intertwined with Lucia's. Every so often, she'd give the veteran's hand a reassuring squeeze, to let her know she was there, to let her know that she was listening. As Lucia's bitterness and envy crept into her words, the witch could feel her heart sink. Here they sat in a gondola sailing towards salvation up what may as well have been the River Styx, and somehow she was in even more pain than Titanius could put her through. She was no stranger to self-loathing. Ever since she could put together coherent thoughts, Madison hated herself. Always had to have her hand held, always needed someone to follow. Never believed she could do anything of worth on her own. Flunking out of college and working a shitty retail gig validated all of that. But as Lucia continued to reveal her true self, Madison found an opportunity. The woman always felt that she was in the priestess's debt after their first meeting, for the kind way she was treated and the sense of purpose within Terrasphere she was gifted. It was a debt that consumed her as she tore through book after book and traveled from place to place, learning whatever she could about the lore of the game, about the living, breathing legends that resided within. Madison knew that Lucia wasn't a problem that could be solved. She wasn't broken, she couldn't be fixed. The witch had grown to like and appreciate her an awful lot in the time they've known each other. As much of a mess as Maddy herself was, she couldn't bear to see someone who meant something to her like Lucia did suffering from the same internal darkness. Maddy let go of the necromancer's hand and let it rest on her thigh. She hesitated for a brief moment before reaching around and running her spidery fingers through the woman's thick locks of hair. "Can I make you a promise," she began. Her sapphire eyes looked deep into Lucia's own. "I won't ever leave you behind," she said with a soft shake of her head. "It doesn't matter how 'strong' I get, or whatever I accomplish on my own, with anyone else, or with you. You're my friend, Lucia. I never abandon friends." Not that she didn't have very many to speak of; but she left that part out. "Ever since that first day, when I asked you to meet me, and you agreed to it--" Madison let out a light sigh. "I'll admit, at first I was curious about your power, about what you went through to acquire it. But..." She shook her head before continuing. "As I got to know you, I realized that your real power doesn't like in your masteries. I mean, yeah, sure; being able to raise the dead is nice. Having Alice by your side can be handy. And this guy--" The witch motioned towards the ghastly, shadowy being at the helm of the boat as he continued to slowly paddle the three of them towards safety. "No," she continued, "you wield a different kind of power." Madison reached up with her free hand and rested it on Lucia's chest. "You might not believe it yourself, but it's this." She pressed down just enough to feel the woman's heart beating inside her. "You didn't have to meet me. You didn't have to teach me anything or help me find my way. You didn't have to invite me to your duchy, to tell me your dreams, to include me in them. Hell, I was expecting you to tell me to fuck off and go back to grinding mobs in Brisshal!" She still does, to this very day. But she left that unsaid as well. "You could've told everyone that. Vivian, Luna, Savannah--anyone else you've helped along the way." The witch paused for a moment, desperate for something else to say. She couldn't read Lucia's emotions through that soft, familiar, hollow smile. It made her feel like she was rambling, like everything she said was going to be for nothing. Maddy pressed on anyway. "But you didn't. You haven't dragged anyone down; you elevated them. You've taken them under your wing. Helped guide them, helped shape them. Sure, they may have grown 'too powerful' to be with you, as you say; but where would they be without you?" She shook her head again. "You're a lot better than you give yourself credit for. And trust me, I know it's a lot easier to hear than it is to actually believe it." Her hand moved southward and started rubbing Lucia's back. "I... haven't believed in myself for a long time, either. As I sit here, I still don't know what you see in me. So my words probably ring a bit hollow and seem hypocritical or whatever." Maddy allowed herself a small chuckle. "I just..." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath, looking deep into Lucia's eyes once more. "I just think you're really special. And I hope someday you realize that you're just as bright as you perceive everyone else to be."
Lucia wore a mellow smile as Madison made her promise, a knowing smile. Her gaze was confident, not that Madison would keep her promise, but that Lucia understood the truth behind those words. They were meant to be encouraging and supportive, but were they meant to be genuine or truths? Lucia's smile softened, believing she knew the truth, it showed in her gaze that she accepted Madison's promise passively. It grew particularly intense when Madison began to comment on the kind of power she felt Lucia had. Lucia's gaze dropped down to Madison's hand touching her chest, for a moment, her gentle smile quivered, but in the end solidified as it always had. Madison would be able to notice Lucia's eyes grew moist, but even then tears weren't allowed to fall, even as her eyes teared up, that gentle smile only quivered but didn't snap. Her warm and tender atmosphere, the bulk of her mask didn't crack it was so deeply ingrained. Instead as if swallowing her own tears, her moist eyes watched Madison's hand as she spoke in a soft concerned voice. "Is that what it seems like to others? No, maybe that's optimism?" Lucia mused, turning her gaze up from Madison's hand to look at her face, her own hands softly trying to accept the girl's hand, tenderly keeping it pressed to her chest. Madison would be able to feel Lucia's heart beat was eerily calm. That 'mask' went much deeper then Lucia's exterior and face alone, it covered her atmosphere, her thoughts and blanketed her heart to keep it warm. "If I didn't welcome you all, who would be left to want me?... If I wasn't kind who could stand being around me?... If I couldn't support you all, then what purpose would I have?" Lucia explained, her soft smile still gentle as she watched Madison's eyes while she explained the reality as she saw it. "My existence can have meaning because of you-- Because of them. To help shape, guide and uplift you all to shine brightly to help you reach a place you never would have otherwise... I am special... perhaps~... But only as long as you all continue to need me." She explained simply. While it did sound to some extent like she was agreeing, if Madison read between the lines, she'd understand the depths of Lucia's sadness and pain. Those who got stronger then her would no longer need her, once people didn't need her she wouldn't be special any more... If she wasn't special any more then her life would be worthless. Even if Lucia could be a big turning point for them, if they no longer needed her then she would just fade away as a memory once more as she did for everyone else. "I understand myself well." She spoke, closing her eyes briefly as she continued. "My negativity makes my dark magic strong, my stubbornness keeps my body still, I'm not useless... but I am weak-- These are powers that come from mastering weakness Madison." She explained even smiling faintly when Madison considered her dreams to be special as well. Shaking her head, there was a bitter truth behind that ambition as well. "I said, I'll only ever have a purpose for as long as you need me. The Human factions are clever, filled with people smarter and stronger then me, the players are full of talents like you Madison, what want for me could they have?" She explained, her smile becoming a little sheepish as she continued. As if a little embarrassed her voice got a bit softer as she spoke. "Only the Undead... Only they have no one better to turn to. For better or worse, I'm the best they have. Giving them a culture, uplifting them just as I do for you all has been so fun and exciting... But when the Ziggurat is completed... When they can survive on their own, would they still need me too?" Lucia explained the harrowing truth behind her ambition. The harsh reality that it was to buy time, to find a reason to live long enough to hopefully find another reason to cling to. Lucia was desperately struggling, fighting for any reason to wake up in the morning and get out of bed, anything that could give her life she hated and loathed so deeply some type of value. It was all she could do to swallow her disgust for herself and live, had she not gotten the necronomicon from Synra during their first counter, she shuddered to think how she would have lived after her first two partners abandoned her... Or 'whether' she would live without them. Brushing a wisp of hair from her face, gently brushing it behind her ear, she warmly watched Madison, an affectionate smile on her face as she began to hold the woman's hand sweetly. Looking down at the woman's palm, she idly traced the lines of her hand slowly as she spoke. "What I see in Madison; It shines so brightly-- Even if you don't believe in yourself Madison, I believe in you. If for no other reason then the fact that you aren't me, I have faith that you'll succeed." Lucia explained. Though if Madison seemed confused, Lucia would glance up at her perplexed as well. As if confused by Madison's possible confusion, Lucia would finally chuckle, slowly shaking her head. With a very radiant smile, if asked why or met with a puzzled gaze still she would explain with a very sweet and friendly tone. "Isn't it because you're still trying to change? Because you're still trying to convince me, you find meaning in it, purpose in it... Madison, doesn't that kind of feeling come so naturally for you? Haven't you done some amazing things in your last game?" Lucia explained, after all, Madison had done amazing things before, spectacular things in other games. Madison still felt there was meaning in trying to be amazing because she could succeed, even if it was just in a game. The other woman hadn't yet reached the point like Lucia, where there was no meaning, where she was fighting to have a reason to live rather then fighting to change and become great. It was a tiny difference, but to Lucia it was such a dazzling and awe-inspiring difference. It was hope-- When Lucia looked at Madison, she saw someone who felt hope; no matter how weak or how frail, hope was so incredibly radiant, so precious and immaculate. It was hope that brought Madison to her doorstep in the first place, and it was hope that drove the woman to try and change. With a small nod, she stroked the woman's palm slowly with a few of her fingers as she concluded. "As for me... Well, I'd given up on trying to shine a long time ago. Instead, I'll be satisfied if you all just want me... Even if it's only for a little while, it will be something I can look back on in the end and remember that I was special-- Even if only for a short while while guiding you." She explained with a content smile.
At the mention of Madison's adventures in other games, the witch froze. The phantoms that haunted her began tormenting her once more. At the time, she felt a sort of psychotic glee in the horrible acts she committed; but years of constant punishment and regret weighed heavily on her heart. Even if it was all fake. Even if it was all just a game. "I wouldn't exactly call what I accomplished elsewhere amazing," she muttered, her tone distant. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I was a classified as a top-level war criminal. During a stupid little clan skirmish, I wiped out half the NPC population of an island nation with a handful of plague rats and some aid group uniforms. Shortly after, the second-in-command of the other group approached my guild leader for... for some reason." Maddy shook her head. "I think it was for a truce or something. Anyway, I didn't want to risk my guild leader using her as a reason to start another war. So, I poisoned her, too. Something that worked faster than her ability to regenerate." The woman broke her gaze away from Lucia, instead now staring downriver. "She logged off and never bothered to respawn." Madison's hand stopped rubbing Lucia's back, and withdrew into her lap. "After that, my guild was split over what to do with me. So I destroyed that too. Ripped control from the guild leader's hands and disbanded it. Alienated every 'friend' I had there. Struck out on my own. Death and destruction followed in my wake." She closed her eyes, trying to hide her tears as the memories continued to play back in her mind. "Eventually, PK bounty hunters caught up with me. It... It wasn't a full dive game, thank god. But I was burned at the stake for everything I had done. Twice, after I regenerated since I was that goddamn powerful." A soft sigh escaped her lips. "All my bullshit kept catching up with me and kicking me while I was down. Eventually, I decided to give all my loot to a good friend of mine who stuck with me the entire time and just... disappear." It was a polite way of saying she tricked this friend into helping her commit a destructive, blood-soaked suicide. "So, there's that." And with that, she shoved all her memories of her past virtual life back into the cramped, dusty box in the darkened corner of her mind where they belonged. Madison straightened up in her seat, her neck starting to hurt. She massaged the kinks out with her free hand. "I don't wanna' talk about me anymore," she said morosely after a long pause. The physical and mental trauma the witch received from the battle inside Titanius wore her down enough as it was--she was in no mood to make matters worse dwelling on her own terrible choices. Even if she looked to be occupied elsewhere, Madison listened intently as Lucia softly lamented about her shine wearing off. About how she long ago gave up, and was barely surviving off the knowledge that others needed her guiding hand, even if it were just for a short while. "I know I can't convince you otherwise," she replied, referring to the priestess's belief that her spark had long since faded. "I would never try to. I know that's not how it works, since I feel like we're a lot more alike than either of us really want to admit. All I can do is just..." Madison shook her head softly. "All I can do is be here for you, to show you that you do have a purpose, that you still do have a lot to offer this world." The witch gazed into Lucia's eyes. "Lucia, look..." This is fucking insane Maddy what the hell are you doing oh my gaaaaawwwwd-- Madison's face turned a deep crimson before the words even left her mouth. "This was some pretty heavy talk. If it, uhhh, if it would make you feel better, you can grab my boobs or something."
Lucia brought her hands together when the woman ended her story. Wasn't it amazing? Wasn't it spectacular? To be that great, that influential, how many lives had Madison changed? How many people would remember her? For better or worse, it sounded like the answer was naturally 'a lot'. How spectacular would it be if it was her instead? How much could Lucia accomplish if she had been so great? It was fun to dream... Though Madison seemed to lament her past, the things she'd done, what she had been capable of, but Lucia only shook her head. There was no such thing in her mind as an evil power, an evil person, only evil deeds. If there was someone who chose to do evil deeds, then they would become evil, but one didn't need to commit only evil deeds. "Amazing~" She finally let out a sweet sigh, a longing sigh, even if Lucia was burned, even if she suffered to be so amazing and dazzling, even as a villain she would trade so much for that type of shine. "Though it seems to bother you, that's not good. How about this time we do something different?" She offered with a gentle smile, reaching a hand up to Madison's head, stroking her hair briefly. There was a kind reassurance in her face and voice as she continued. "You have the potential to be great, I know that, you'd done so many incredible things before. Since you know you're capable of it, we just have to work on channeling it towards something positive." She mentioned lifting a finger of her other hand. If Madison was stunned, for even a moment, Lucia's smile would widen briefly with a flash of playful pride and self praise for being clever as she tried to explain. "After all, if you wipe out half of a toxic or hostile population wouldn't it be great? If you only wiped out the harmful ones wouldn't we as your friends come to support you if anyone tried to deal with you? As for the poisoning though, maybe we should stick to using that as a method of dealing with traitors mm?... For the death in your wake, can't you just leave that to me? As long as you're killing the hostile elements, I can bring them back as supporters and then we both win there too. As for PKers... That's a bit harder to handle, seclusion helps since this map is so big though, I've managed to hide pretty well in the wilderness at least." She mused, casually spinning all of Madison's trauma and emotional scars into what she saw as a positive scenario. Madison was capable of great deeds, but it all depended on how those deeds were committed and why. There was no reason in Lucia's mind that those things couldn't have been done in a positive way if Madison had a second chance. "I think I would be very sad if Madison tried to disappear again though-- Lets see, how to fix that part... Mm-- Maybe the next time you feel the need to do that, if you like, you can tell me? By then I might just be some nameless nobody still trying to make a simple city while you're performing god-like acts, but if you wanted to disappear, why not spend some time with me instead? It would help you get away and would probably be a lot less stressful right?" She spoke with a tender gaze, offering Madison another option as opposed to disappearing. If the woman ever became that strong again, there was no reason she couldn't escape and find her, if she was really ailing so intensely that she considered giving up, wouldn't it be nice to have a place to go home to? Even if it was a pathetic run down tent... It could be nice-- Though there was a good chance Madison would have something better by then, there was no harm in offering. After voicing out her thoughts on the subject, she stroked Madison's hair while nodding, as if approving of her own plan and thoughts. "We'll try to work in that direction then, you just do your best to keep being you, and if there's ever a time you feel the urge to do something great, I can try to let you know where to direct that energy okay?" She offered once more, it was a harmless and silly offer in her mind, there was no reason to listen to her advice or heed her council after all. But it would do a great deal to ease Madison's guilt to have it be something Lucia supported and advised rather then making a heated judgement call on her own. For Lucia who could shoulder the burden of being a tyrant or a villain as long as it made her shine, guilt was meaningless in the face of accomplishment and shine. She was ready at any time to share in any kind of dazzling thing Madison might accomplish, the burdens of action be damned-- they were meaningless in the face of greatness. Though when Madison seemed to no longer want to talk about herself, Lucia's mood soured again briefly, a gentle smile returning to her face as her facade took over once more. Nodding again, not wanting to bother Madison or traumatize her more, the excitement and thrill of possibly being valuable to Madison began to die down as she settled once more into that warm and gentle person from her earlier bright and excited state. "I understand Madison. I have a purpose, as long as I have you all, as long as the Undead need me, I'll have a purpose. But without them-- Without you, well, thinking about it is what bothers me I suppose." She explained with a dry chuckle, knowing she was worthless if it weren't for others was a hard pill to swallow naturally, a lot of her sourness and sadness under her facade roiled because of those thoughts. Though it was Madison's offer that perked her up. Her gaze turning to Madison vaguely stunned. As if time had paused, Lucia just looked at her face for a while, as if thought processing had shut down for a moment when she heard the woman offer what she thought she heard her offer. It took Lucia a moment to realize those words had actually been said, that Madison truly spoke them. For a moment she chuckled until she saw seriousness in the other girl. A vague and faint pink touched Lucia's cheeks as she gazed back at Madison, her eyes slowly sliding to a half lid, a piqued curiosity in her gaze as the atmosphere about Lucia began to change faintly from warm and welcoming to alluring and comforting. "Do you mean that? Really?" She asked, leaning closer to Madison, one hand gently falling onto the woman's soft thigh as she slid closer, using that hand to lean closer over Madison with a coy grin. "I mean-- Really mean it?~"
Let's just go over what Lucia said for a minute here. That, even though deep down Madison knew that what she did in her previous VR life was absolutely monstrous and completely reprehensible, the priestess still considered it--ah, what was the word she used?--Amazing. Needless to say, it confused the poor woman. Madison recalled the events underneath the Bandit King's fortress. How Lucia and Vivian stopped them from killing Zeus. The discussion in the tent shortly afterwards, where Lucia explained her motives--that Zeus was a one-of-a-kind stand-up kind of dude, who channeled his infinite energy into training the next generation of heroes-- And then everything clicked for her. Not everyone had that spark of brilliance, that inner brightness that Lucia always talked about. Madison could only sit there, her blank face trying its hardest to mask the utter disbelief she felt as the veteran spoke of harnessing the reckless fury that simmered inside her and channeling it towards... well, what could be considered by some as "a good cause". People needed to die. People needed to suffer. No matter what, there was always some force in the world, a force that needed a swift boot up its ass and a plague coursing through its bloodstream. Lucia was merely suggesting that, rather than trying to change herself, Madison simply adjusted the ol' targeting parameters. Something stirred inside the witch. Something dark, something twisted. It cackled with glee as Lucia continued to whisper all sorts of things in her ear, enabling the horrible schemes that always lingered in the back of her mind. But all that introspective bullshit went out the window the moment the woman's hand lightly rested on Madison's thigh. She nearly jumped from the sensation as it sent a chill up her spine. Did I really mean it? A dull sense of confusion plucked at her for a moment. For as long as she could remember, the witch had never really been interested in intimacy. Her relationships never lasted longer than a couple months. Quite hard to keep a boyfriend at her age when Netflix and chill literally meant Netflix and chill. Madison scooted closer as she rested her hand on the priestess's own. For a moment, her breathing was shallow before she swallowed her nervousness and regained her composure. She said softly, "Yes, of course." Slowly, she guided Lucia's fingers up her thigh, inch by inch. A small half-grin stretched across her face. "Trust me, I wouldn't have offered if I didn't." Maddy reached down with her other hand and guided Lucia's up her body, letting her fingers linger before coming to rest on her breast. The woman gave Lucia's hand a quick but delicate squeeze as she closed her eyes. A sigh of contentment escaped her lips as her heart began to race. She reached out and caressed Lucia's face with the back of her fingers, pushing a lock of black hair back behind her ear. Rather than ruin the moment with a smart-ass comment, Madison simply smiled warmly as she inched closer to the priestess.
Lucia only flashed a warm and understanding grin, though she couldn't know what kind of darkness surged inside of Madison, she was content that the woman seemed to accept her advice even if only a little. Yes, to Lucia it didn't matter if someone was as black as coal or as white as untouched snow, both shined equally bright in her eyes. Evil or good, all that mattered to Lucia was that people became great. Because if one day great became 'normal', then wouldn't Lucia also become great? Though seeing Madison so serious about touching her, Lucia's smile softened, watching Madison raise her hands up to her chest, she contently tilted her head a little, just enjoying the sight briefly. "Mm... This is nice. This kind of warmth makes it easy to relax and forget." She spoke giving Madison a very gentle squeeze, it was clear the woman wasn't exactly used to this type of activity, so Lucia didn't press or push her. Instead she only gingerly gave her soft squeezes before turning her gaze up to watch Madison's face as she played with her. "There's something comforting about it... something that drowns out the negativity even if it's only for a little bit." She spoke softly, her eyes closing as she leaned closer to madison. Close enough for the woman to feel her soft subtle breaths against her neck as she leaned in. With every brush touch and squeeze though, Lucia noticed this likely wasn't a common thing for Madison. It wasn't as if she offered this to others often, her reactions were just to intense, with baited breaths already she looked closely at Madison's face as she continued. "You're handling it well too-- It must be hard." She spoke gently her voice reassuring, trying to make the atmosphere feel safe and supportive. The gentle rocking of their ship, the soft sounds of the murky waters around them. Lucia tried to ensure at least that Madison didn't feel the need to struggle or fight, if she grew uncomfortable, Lucia would naturally stop, but it was clear from the way she occasionally closed her eyes to really experience the feeling to the limit that she was enjoying Madison's gift. A very brief flash of happiness, relief crossed Lucia's face, though it likely wouldn't last long, it was clear that at least for these moments, she felt treasured.
Madison couldn't help but to blush, but for a completely different reason. She arched an eyebrow. "Is it really that obvious?" The witch chuckled softly. "I guess I am trying a little too hard, aren't I? Sorry, it's just... I don't know..." The mirth in her eyes slowly disappeared and a deep sigh escaped her lips while she tried to figure out how to best explain things. "Yeah, this is kind of hard for me, not gonna lie." Madison shrugged her shoulders, her hand still clasped around Lucia's. "Let's just say that it's been a long time since I've been in a situation like this. Not because of any lack of trying or the fact that I'm a complete bitch or anything; I've just never really cared much for it." She gave the priestess's hand a squeeze to reassure her she wasn't doing anything wrong, and didn't have to pull away. She quietly hoped that Lucia wouldn't interpret any of what she had to say the wrong way. Madison continued, "Nothing really excites me. Nothing really interests me. I process a lot of things like, oh, hey, that's neat, I guess. Like what we're doing here--" She gave Lucia's hand another gentle caress. "Don't get me wrong, it feels very nice--and I meant it when I said it was okay for you to touch me--but, like, that's about it. I get the same sort of feeling out of this as I do just casually cuddling with someone." She quickly added, "Cuddling's fucking great, by the way. Just throwing that out there." A smile flashed across her face, but slowly faded away. "I suppose I was just trying to get into it more so I wouldn't scare you off or make you worry or anything. Wouldn't have been the first time something like that happened. It's just something I need to get used to again, you know?" Madison's feelings were complicated. In the months since first spawning in Terrasphere, she had grown to like and respect Lucia quite a bit. She considered the priestess one of the few true friends she made here. Lucia had given her a sense of purpose in the world, guided her unsteady hand, taught her the way of things. Madison didn't know how she'd ever repay her for her infinite kindness. Assisting her with the ziggurat and the development of her undead society was a good way to start, for sure. But if the priestess desired anything else from her, anything more from her, would she be okay with that? It was a notion that was slowly warming up to. It would only take time. Reaching up with her free hand, Madison pressed Lucia's head against her shoulder. She began tracing delicate lines through the woman's hair with her fingernails, simply enjoying the closeness the two shared. After a long, quiet moment, Madison spoke up. "Y'know, sharing this moment with you, I almost completely forgot how much I want to punch that Juliette bitch in the face for asking us to die so she could save a bunch of quivering, unhelpful Titanius fodder. When we get back to Astorea, you cool with me knocking a few of her teeth down her throat?"
Lucia smiled tenderly in response to Madison's feelings, it wasn't like Lucia couldn't understand. Even if it wasn't the same for her, she could understand. Rather, instead of it being towards this type of intimacy, Lucia had that type of outlook on life. A take it or leave it approach, a 'this is okay but the alternative is okay too' feeling. Yes, Lucia understood and sympathized, whether or not it was because she felt some kind of pity or disapproval though was unclear on the surface, beneath it, Lucia was just happy Madison was being Madison. Hearing Madison talk about how great cuddling was though, Lucia couldn't help cracking a playful grin. After all, Lucia did also adore cuddling, it was something she could pass all of the time in the world with, just being close with someone else was delightful-- feeling cared for, sharing warmth. Without hesitation, Lucia decided if Madison liked cuddling there was no reason not to. With a sudden push, Lucia affectionately tackled the woman down into the boat. Climbing over her with a coy grin, she pressed the warmth of her body to Madison's, Lucia's soft skin could be felt through her clothing, the heat of her body easy to feel through the cloth. The soft sound of her clothes brushing against Madison could be heard as Lucia began slowly pressing herself against the woman from head to toe. Settling slowly she rested her head at Madison's breast, affectionately nuzzling in, very slowly squeezing her with one hand while resting her head against the other side. "Don't worry." She finally spoke in a soft tone, occasionally moving, brushing against Madison as she snuggled and nuzzled in, cuddling sweetly. "As long as you're happy, as long as you feel happy from this, why not? You shouldn't have to be obligated to 'feel' a certain way. Just being yourself is enough... Just-- Just liking me is more then enough." She affirmed reassuringly. As long as Madison liked her company like this, Lucia would happily continue on playing with her. All she ever wanted, or needed from the other girl was to be herself. For better or worse, she had her hooks in Madison, whether shallow or deep, Lucia would try to keep her because she liked the girl, not because of any kind of ulterior benefits, the girl who shined brightly, who sounded so much like her was precious just like her other companions. Cuddling with Madison though, the long period of silence where Lucia would just occasionally brush her body against the woman for a bit more warmth in the friction, a soft squeeze at her chest or nuzzle of her cheek from time to time. When she finally spoke up about Juliette Lucia shook her head slowly not lifting it up from her soft chest as she spoke. "There are burdens that come from leadership. Regardless of who was at fault genuinely, it likely wasn't her own for having to make such a request; she likely wasn't responsible for the resources being squandered or transported, but merely the messenger trying to minimize losses. They don't understand our predicament, our situation, they merely see us as immortals who can die and return, they don't understand what the UI is or how it could fail us." Lucia tried to explain. Whether or not she agreed with it or would change her mind, Lucia didn't care very much, she was simply explaining. Whatever Madison decided to do, Lucia would support her but after hearing about what happened to Madison in her last game, Lucia spoke up. "It was a request to sacrifice for a life they equated as equal or perhaps even non-equal since we could normally revive. They don't understand the hows, only the results, which led to this type of thing." Lucia offered, suddenly giving Madison a sweet squeeze to try and make sure Madison didn't have terrible or dark thoughts. "Just food for thought, whatever you decide, I'll help you out, but you should think about rationales and reasons before aggressively taking action." She lectured gently from Madison's chest.
The surprise on the witch's face was evident when Lucia pushed her off her seat onto the floor of the boat. A soft, very un-Maddylike squeak escaped her mouth as she collided with the ground, the gondola softly rocking in the river before settling back on-course. Madison's heart began to race again as Lucia pressed herself down on top of her, the priestess quickly settling in and resting her head on Madison's chest. As Lucia grew more comfortable, hand still cupped around her breast, Madison quickly calmed down. Her heartbeat slowed, and her breathing began to match Lucia's. The cursemage's hands alternated between massaging the back of Lucia's neck, running through her hair, and lightly drawing figure eights on her back. For the first time in forever, Madison was content. Just the two of them without a care in the world, putting all of their worries and insecurities aside and simply enjoying the moment. Even the necromancer's... well, not exactly disapproval, but advice about how maybe knocking the piss out of a high-ranking member of the Ynglar Brotherhood just *miiiight* not be the best idea couldn't ruin the moment. Madison clicked her tongue. "You're probably right," she said neutrally. "Sometimes I just get so wrapped up in things that I forget minute details like the fact that we're playing a game, and they aren't." Maybe she'd just settle for spitting in the mage's eye. That's not aggressive, right? Merely disrespectful? "Maybe I should just let it go. We're alive, we still have access to our UIs--" --Hang on a minute-- The woman lifted her right hand and quickly clenched it. A familiar translucent glowing blue panel flickered into existence before her eyes. She thumbed through a few menus, making sure everything still worked. "--We still have access to our UIs," she said again for emphasis. "Titanius is a gigantic pile of rotting eldritch meat, we're gonna' be hailed as heroes, we'll get some fat loot from a thankful populous, and then we can get back to what's important." Her fingers wrapped up in Lucia's jet-black locks, Madison lightly pressed the woman's head against her chest, feeling the warmth of her body against her skin. The witch tilted her head just enough to bury her face in Lucia's hair, lightly kissing the top of her head.
Lucia chuckled a little, not particularly minding Madison's aggression, if it's against someone mundane, Lucia was content to let them all die in a fire. Those special few though, well, if Lucia knew about them she'd support them and put a good word in. No doubt the brotherhood had a few special shining lights, but whether or not that woman was one of them, Lucia didn't think so too much at least. "Don't worry, like I said, just worry about being yourself. If you ever accidentally go too far, then I'll help straighten you out." She offered with a gentle smile and a soft squeeze to Madison's chest. Though when Madison commented on still having the UIs, Lucia knew that already, summoning Gastor was too difficult for her to do without the icons to do so. "That's right. We're fine, Titanius is after all still just a monster, this is Synra's place-- I had Gastor sneak us in among the others who'd died. We're practically stowaways, but I don't think the Goddess will mind too much. No matter how powerful a monster, it won't fight a god and win." Lucia explained with a mellow chuckle. If she'd taken the time to sacrifice herself for Synra again during this event, Titanius might have died pretty easily much like the Ant queen, but Lucia didn't feel the need to take the risk. Whether or not she'd lose her UI was unknown, Synra was a Goddess, but just how much she cared about her was unknown, so Lucia tried not to risk herself. As if finding their current situation growing less comfortable-- Or perhaps, Lucia seemed to be growing a bit greedy, she wiggled a little, her soft round hips brushing against Madison's legs trying to slip between them. She gingerly slipped closer, between Madison's long legs, cuddling up, finally pressed very tightly to one another she snuggled into Madison affectionately. Lucia's face turned up, looking at Madison with a warm gaze, a very gentle and warm supportive gaze. As if silently beckoning, silently urging Madison to wrap her up tightly with arms and legs to keep her comfortable. Feeling the other woman's warmth, Lucia's eyes closed to a half lid resting her chin on the woman's chest. Her soft moist lips so close, Madison would be able to see them glisten in the low light.
As Lucia squirmed around, Madison shifted her weight to make her more comfortable. The priestess settled in, nestled between her thighs, that all-too-familiar warmth in her eyes and smile, beckoning her. The witch couldn't help herself, submitting to the unspoken wishes of the priestess. She wrapped her arms rightly around Lucia and pulled her in closer, relishing the feeling of her soft body pressing against hers, the heat rising in her face as she snaked a leg around the woman's to get more comfortable. Everything was about as perfect as it could've been. She wished it could last forever. It was just the two of them, together, alone, no one and nothing to disturb them. The twilight, stormy sky overhead, endless nothingness beyond the shores of the river. It had been a long time since Madison felt as at peace with everything as she was then. A hand found its way back to Lucia's face. Madison gently brushed the woman's hair out of her eyes--those wonderful, bright eyes that saw so much potential in her. Potential that she was still unsure that she had, despite surviving a fight against an eldritch god. But Lucia believed in her, so that was going to have to be enough for her to try. The last thing she wanted to do was to disappoint this woman who had shown her so much kindness. Madison's fingers caressed the necromancer's cheek, lightly dancing across her skin, tracing her cheekbones and jawline. Her eyes flickered momentarily towards those soft lips. For a brief moment, she wanted to taste them once more. The woman opened her mouth to speak. If there's anything you'd like-- But she hesitated. For just a slightest of moments. She swallowed the words, but they lingered in her mind, foreign and strange. --take it. Madison instead smiled, a warm, longing grin to match Lucia's own. She gave the woman another hug before letting her mind wander about the possibilities of their relationship once more.
Lucia relaxed, when Madison embraced her, she contently melted against the woman just affectionately brushing against her from time to time to keep things warm and lively. Her hands still occasionally exploring Madison while the gondola moved. From time to time Lucia would idly give her a content squeeze. Passing the time like this was delightful for her as well, in her favorite position, warm, comfortable, pressed tenderly to something soft. This was how she wanted to spend her life in truth; just not moving, not trying, just to lay like this and rot away into oblivion and let time take her. It couldn't be done though, Madison was too special to be wasted in such a way. Instead, she simply snuggled and cuddled more, as if trying to get enough of that feeling to last a few days. When Madison touched her face, Lucia just looked back at her from her chest, her gaze a little lazy, tired, sleepy. Out of all Lucia's natural and genuine states, this was perhaps the most serene and peaceful. Stagnation, stillness, silence, it was the sloth she'd developed, and it was so beautifully enabled in this moment, she felt like she was being recharged. It was only when Madison opened her mouth, only to close it immediately after that Lucia would even perk a row, as if anything else took too much effort. She'd look up, exploring Madison's expression, seeing that gentle smile that matched her own, feeling the warmth of her arms, seeing the girl's mind wander. She'd understood Madison's gaze 'take what you like', but how would Lucia respond to such an offer? What was it that Lucia liked? It took only the time enough to think the question before a small smile spread out across Lucia's face. Slowly, her hand would slide from Madison's chest to the girl's arm. Slowly down her arm taking her hand gingerly. It was a very slow process as her hand slipped into Madison's palm, slowly finding the woman's fingers one by one. Her hand steadily slipped into Madison's lacing her fingers with the other woman's one by one to hold her hand. Gingerly holding her hand, giving it a soft squeeze as if to say 'i've decided' or 'this is it'. To some it would be a cheap shot, an unfair move, cheating even, but Lucia didn't care. If Madison told her to take what she liked Lucia would be true to herself. Grabbing onto Madison's hand, giving it a soft squeeze as she slowly returned her head to Madison's chest. Lucia's intention was to take 'her'. If Madison offered her anything, Lucia wanted her. Whatever Madison was okay with offering her, body? heart? mind or soul? It didn't matter what Madison wanted to offer-- If she was allowed, Lucia wanted to take-- to receive it all.
Madison laid there, eyes closed, breath still, enjoying the sensation of Lucia's hand as it slid up her chest, the woman's thin fingers tracing delicate lines down her arm until one by one they intertwined with her own. Lucia squeezed the witch's hand, signaling to her that this was exactly what she wanted. To just be there with her, to let the hours bleed by in each other's company... Just the two of them, one holding the other tightly in their arms. This was something she was perfectly okay with. Upon further reflection, Maddy wasn't quite sure what she would've done if Lucia had sought to take more from her. In her quiet desperation for acceptance and attention from the priestess, she would have been okay with whatever surprises were in store for her. Within reason, of course. But she was secretly glad that this was as far as things had gone. A contented sigh escaped her lips as she laid there. The trauma she suffered during the battle with Titanius was all but forgotten. The aches and pains of her injuries reduced to a dull roar. The fog in her mind cleared. All because of this shared moment in the gondola. Oh, how she wish she could stay like this forever-- Madison's free hand found its way up to the back of Lucia's neck. Teasing her skin with the tips of her fingernails, she slowly traced her jaw, lifting the woman's head bit by bit until she could gaze into her wonderful, magical eyes of hers. The eyes that saw so much potential in her, the brilliance of her spark. Her breathing became shallow and her heartbeat quickened as her gaze flickered momentarily at the priestess's lips. Slowly, using her finger to guide her, she urged Lucia closer. The woman didn't resist; instead she inched up, acquiescing to Madison's desires. As Lucia drew near, Madison's eyes fluttered close. She could only hope it was just as good as the first time they kissed, standing alone in the field before the ziggurat.
Lucia simply continued resting, holding Madison's hand. Though the woman didn't seem to understand Lucia's gesture completely, she didn't mind very much. At the end of the day the result was the same. What Lucia wanted to take was after all Madison. One hand still idly played with the girl's soft chest, her head resting comfortably even as Madison traced her jawline and face once more. Turning her head up to face Madison, she smiled faintly, a little lazily as Madison brought her closer. Seeing Madison close her eyes though, Lucia moistened her own lips briefly before pressing them to Madison's tenderly. The kiss was gentle, just as sweet and kind as Madison remembered from their first time. The soft brush of Lucia's plush lips against her own was delicate, soft and warm. It didn't remain simple though, after a soft brush of her lips, she deepened the kiss, tilting her head, she pressed a bit tighter to Madison's body. Her hand at her chest squeezing a bit tighter, as if afraid of Madison fleeing or disapproving, she gripped her a bit tighter then normal. The hand in Madison's squeezed a bit tighter as well, until her knuckles began to whiten just a little from the effort. Lucia did after all try holding back, but there was a love in her heart, one that she feared Madison didn't understand, even worried Madison might be fighting it. The kiss deepened further, the softness of her hips wiggling between Madison's soft thighs as she tried to deepen further. There was a flash of sound, her lips brushing against Madison's before slowly parting, suckling at her bottom lip briefly. The soft sound of Lucia slurping at her lips could be heard, the soft sound of lips smacking as Lucia deepened the kiss. As if not satisfied though she pressed more weight into Madison, with a flash of tongue she tried to taste Madison's lips and mouth more, if the girl was unprepared, the deeper kiss would include tongue~ Softly exploring Madison's mouth affectionately, as if claiming it as her own, she suckled and slurped. Her actions got fiercer, a bit dominant, a bit firm, but Lucia couldn't think of a better way. Trying to communicate her feelings, the lengths at which she'd try to go, the weight of that warmth in her heart. If Madison didn't understand what the gesture of grabbing her hand meant, she tried to communicate it through the kiss. If Lucia could take what she liked-- then she'd want nothing else aside from taking 'Madison'.
