Megathread - Terrasphere Speed Dating

The Troupe · May 4, 2018

Welcome to the Lonely Hearts Inn

Ding dong, ding dong! Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your interest and your bravery! When it comes to friendship and romance, a little courage is the only step you'll need to enter that magical relationship, after all! So take a sip and buckle up your belts, because no 18+ actions are allowed in public! Everybody, clap your hands, because the party starts...NOW!

Coinciding with the thunderous claps of 28 different loners, a flash of white spread through the room, the oriental host's smile the last thing they could see before they all found themselves falling, falling, falling into the blankness of the void. Was it an eternity? Or a blink of an eye? It was neither.

The light faded away, replaced by blood, gore, and a particularly odd scenario.

Player B was panting heavily before a great beast, their gleaming armor stained by the blood of the massive dragon. It had been a horrific fight that took a mighty toll, reducing the castle before them into naught but melted ruins, but they had done it! They had proved their might and become a dragon slayer! Upon carving open the dragon's stomach, however, they realize that there was someone within its stomach. Player A, dressed up in a half-digested gown and drenched in all sorts of nasty fluids, crawls out of the entrails of the felled monster, coughing viciously and generally having a terrible time.

Was this the meet-cute of Player B's dreams? Or was the nightmare just beginning for Player A? Find out next, on TSD!

Yasha Assist
During this Round, whenever necessary, Yasha, the sexy, ponytailed host, can teleport from the shadows, depositing a fruity cocktail in Player A's hand before disappearing. Feel free to use this drink to take the edge off the gastric acids, or to toss in the offending face of Player B.

House Rules
During this Round, Player B's masteries are set as Mastered Slash, Mastered Slash, and Mastered Slash. Player A's masteries are set as Illustrious Convenient Censorship and Proficient Digestion Resistance.

This Round ends on May 6th.

Ex. A x B

@Sean Poteitoku x @Madison Freebird

@Corvella x @Rook the Quick

@Hanno Futaba x @Seigi

Misha (@Pandora ) x @Tetsunosuke

@Das Ein Magia x @Noah Krane

@Darko Ljubicic x @Ash Vargold

@Haru x @Doru

@Iván Carl x @Alphabet Chocolate

@Brant Dugal x @Aristides

@Comet x @Kaede Hoshi

@Portia Ahrens x @Bradwynne

@Destiny Divebird x @Yukisa

@Emil Trevelyan x @Lady N

@Autumn x @Magdalyn
HTML:
[spoiler=Round x: Pairing]
Insert Post Here

@mention your partner
[/spoiler]

Seigi · May 4, 2018

This...was different. Very different from what Seigi had expected. Where was the free food!? At least there was free booze! Actually no, there wasn't even that. BUT... she got to slay a dragon, or rather had already slain one! Except for the whole cut-the-stomach part, that could be avoided next time. It was, maybe, only her dreams. But... the dragon! Slaying, and stuff. Yay! Might as well make use of it.

So, was this more like an act, or something? Saving the princess, and all. Either way, dialogues, and posts were supposed to be short but not 4th wall-breaking.

Either way, Seigi reached out one of her bandaged hand towards Futaba. With a bright sunshine smile and an obvious offer to help him up/out, the girl introduced herself. "Fear not! For your Hero of Justice, the Sunset Sage of Seven Strikes: Seigi Ling Ling— has arrived!" First impressions were very important for a hero's image, after all! Even if aimed towards an in smelly gut covered people person!

@Hanno Futaba

Corvella · May 4, 2018

It has been like what, three hours since she had been gulped down into the belly of the great dragon? It doesn't feel good, mainly because she kept bouncing around inside the stomach, with acid splashing around melting her only dress she's wearing. Then it stopped as she felt the pull of gravity, and a sword cutting through the stomach of the dragon, the light shining from outside revealed a majestic knight.

Wait, this isn't right. I thought we'll be getting free alcohol and things. Maybe she'll get one if she play along as the damsel in distress.

Covering what's left of her gown that's conveniently acid-proof in certain parts with her hands, she crawled out from the entrails and looked up. "Oh, my hero. Who is it behind the shining armor?"
@Rook the Quick

Yukisa · May 4, 2018

<Record scratch>
<Freeze frame>

Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
Well please let me know if you've figured it out because I don't know either. ;;

First there was a flash of light, then a dragon corpse, and now Yukisa was crudely skinning the thing. In hindsight, maybe this alternate version of himself should have invested some time into learning how to properly handle animal carcasses rather than mastering Slash thrice. At least he could be certain that he's really good at swinging his sword around like the supposedly gallant knight he was supposed to be.

But whatever he was doing, it seemed to work, because soon enough a beautiful, stunning, gunk-coated princess slipped through the slit he opened like a noodle. He blinked a few times, rather confused, but the confusion was soon replaced with concern for the well-being of this fair maiden.

Mustering the gallantry of a true knight, he turned to her in order to offer his assistance. "Hey-" he began saying, but as he lifted his armored foot to step towards her, the not-so-chivalrous male found himself toppling over like a house of cards. Walking wasn't his strong suit to begin with, and having to do so in a heavy, rattling suit of armor, without the help of the Acrobat mastery, he failed miserably. Yet still, he found the strength to lift his face from where it had been planted in the ground and ask his fellow damsel-in-distress, "A-Are you alright?"

@Destiny Divebird

Portia Ahrens · May 4, 2018

When a certain female friend of hers had invited her to attend the event because she thought it would be a good idea for her to meet some new acquaintances, being gulped down by a dragon was, of course, not a part of her plans.

She was a fighter, not a damsel in distress who needed to be rescued by any other player, yet it was the situation forced upon her and there wasn't much she could complain about. After all, she had signed up for this. There were no complains she could offer on the matter.

Scrambling to find whatever dignity was left in her body after the majestic beast had been defeated, she crawled through the opening made by her savior, wiping the gore and blood still clinging to her frame.

"Thank you, person..."

@Bradwynne

Brant Dugal · May 4, 2018

He had originally come here for the drinks...

So was it OK if he asked why in the world he was dressed in a half-eaten gown while being eaten alive of all things? Brant certainly wanted to think so, but he feels like it would be best for his own sanity that he didn't. He tried blasting a hole in the stomach of whatever beast he was in, but, to his surprise, couldn't.

Oh well. He guessed he could simply right this situation out. He's never been digested before so this could be a...learning experience. Oh who is he kidding, he wants out now.

To his surprise he was in fact given a way out. As a hole was carved in the belly of the beast he quickly burst through like a mole from the dirt, pride be damned. Coughing into his sleeve at the initial smell he looked down at exactly what he was stuck in, not caring that he was still barely covered in a ragged gown.

"You know I had originally came here for wine but dragon sounds just as good. How about you?"

@Aristides

Sean Poteitoku · May 4, 2018

Sean began to stir, his head aching. He had plummeted into darkness after going to some sort of speed-dating place. Is this a trap? He opened his eyes as he stood up.

Feeling a burning sensation against his skin, he looked down. He was wearing a gown and there was a weird liquid eating away at it... Wait, am I being digested? And why am I wearing a gown? Where's my sword? Are they trying to get me killed!? He began to panic, punching the walls of what he believed was the stomach of the beast as the stomach acid burned away the non-lewd parts of his gown.

I have several questions.

After a tiny bit, the wall of the stomach opened, leaving Sean to fall out with a punch, crying. "No more, please..." He looked up to find a very familiar face. "I signed up for a speed-dating thing... And I got teleported into a huge creature..." He got up, still crying. "I've never felt so vulnerable..."

WAIT.

Is this some elaborate plan to get me hooked up with her? Why don't I get any say in this? We wouldn't work together, we'd just fight!

@Madison Freebird

Noah Krane · May 4, 2018

“Clap? Ohhh clap!” Noah was slow on the draw to the command as he was too busy trying to catch a peek at some of the cute guys that might have stumbled their way into this nifty little event. The slender man virocously clapped his hands together before being engulfed in some odd white light.

Before he knew what the hell was happening, he was standing in an outfit that definitely needed to be taken to a dry cleaners. Upon noticing the rancid smell exuding the corpse of a dragon before him, Noah would raise his hand to cover his nose. “Ugh, I guess this is what speed dating is in a fantasy world huh? Here I was thinking we’d just be sipping cocktails and telling each other lame pickup lines. Oh well.”

Noah went over to the corpse of the dragon and started to poke around until from its belly a young woman’s body was seen. Bummer, no muscular hunk waiting for me huh? Noah would think to himself.

How gross it must have been for her to be trapped in that vile sort of location. “”Um, miss would you like a hand? I’d like to think the belly of a dragon is no place for a lady.” He outstretched his hand and waited for the maiden to accept his offer.

@Das Ein Magia

Das Ein Magia · May 4, 2018

Once the world began to warp around her, Wendel thought it might be some sort of trap. That event runner person was pretty good at whatever he was doing. Illusions were pretty strong weren't they?

No way this could be real.

"*Cough* *Cough..."

Waking up, Wendel found herself in some gown and covered in slime. Her eye strangely not bleeding from this experience. Again... couldn't be real.

Her eyes settled on a hand and then the face of some man next to her. This was strange... was this... a date? Dates were something Wendy would have never had the courage to even consider. Gee whiz this was really weird. She existed to bring a Happy Ending for herself and Raina, kill everything that got in the way, and make everyone permanently happy and grief free.

Heck no was she good at this sort of thing... whatever this was.

"H-Hello... urgh...I'm uh? I have no idea what's going on. I feel like I've been completely drained. You'd think being eaten would have *cough* *cough*...would be griefful but this... is just slimey *cough.*'

The man's hand went ignored as she focused on trying to make sense of her situation.

@Noah Krane

Destiny Divebird · May 4, 2018

As the lights dimmed and the magic spell took hold, Destiny was actually feelin' pretty good. Warm. Snug. Little bit tingly, even. Was this the heart-pounding excitement of fantasy speed dating?

Turns out it was stomach acid.

Clad only in what felt like bits of cellophane wrappers, Destiny tumbled out of the beast with all the grace and attractiveness of a wet tennis ball from a dog's mouth. Flopping on the ground like a newborn infant someone had forgotten to catch, the dark-haired woman barely had time to register she was not alone before her knight in shining armor was-- falling.

"Aw, hell." As someone prone to tripping over her unnaturally long elf-legs at the best of times, Des knew this was her time to finally give back. Rising from the ground, sticky strands of mucus snapping as the half-digested body unfolded from its fetal position, Destiny pulled herself to one knee and thrust out her gangly arms to catch the knight--

It was a nice pose (on one knee, both arms outstretched with a slight bend at the elbows, the wet blob of her fluid-soaked hair distinctly not blowing in the wind). It was just bad positioning. The dragon-slayer fell right past her. Destiny gave a strangled "Nghh!" of protest.

"Sure, sure! I'm all right, stranger," she said once she'd managed to scrape her scattered wits together, hiding her arms behind her back as if that would disguise her pathetically failed attempt to reverse gender roles. She scooted a little closer to him, looking around-- "So where are--jesus christ, what is that?"

She'd finally seen the beast she'd just been inside and grabbed Yukisa out of reflex, latching onto her fallen savior and hauling the slender man to her chest. Her heart was pounding for all the wrong reasons. "Did you kill it? Jesus! Holy hell, it's big."

@Yukisa

Rook the Quick · May 4, 2018

Speed dating! It was the word speed that intrigued the little swordsman (Rook the-- do we have to say it?) who pattered up to the Lonely Hearts Inn, and the word speed which kept his sandals tap-tap-tapping through the door and through the spell and straight up to the dragon in a seamless transition.

Ironically, Rook noticed that his sword was different before he noticed anything else (like the heavy plate mail he was suddenly wearing, or the visor covering his entire face except for the very tip of his beak, or that the part of the beast he'd been in the middle of cutting had suddenly birthed a live woman.) He peered at the blade skeptically and bonked his mask on the inside of the helmet. Ow!

Knight?
Who?

Rook stared at the woman and recognition dawned on him. "!!!!" He leaped up several inches in the air like a scared cat, but it was out of excitement. Corvella! Corvella was here!

Instead of answering her question, the Quick ran in a circle around the half-digested damsel, parkouring off the side of the dragon and skipping to a halt. Finally, he pushed back his visor to reveal a pair of bright, beady eyes behind his mask. He pointed energetically at the place she'd come out of the entrails, nodding eagerly.

Oh, but-- she was-- not clothed. Not really. Eeep. He turned suddenly, facing the opposite direction. Rook the Quick should not be embarrassed, but he felt color rising in his cheeks all the same. Looking around, his eyes brightened and he grabbed a scrap of fresh dragon-hide for her to wrap herself in, waving it happily like a matador's cape. Look-look-look! This is for you!

He presented it to @Corvella.

Noah Krane · May 4, 2018

Hmm the young woman seemed to be okay, which was a good thing. He was sure she was also probably wondering who the hell thought spawning in the belly of a dragon was an okay thing to do. Oh well, they were here now and there was nothing that could be done besides start a dialogue between the two of them. She seemed to dismiss Noah’s offer of help out and instead was more focused on the fact that she was currently covered in some sort of slime, but could he really blame her?

“Well I think I’m in no position to question what sort of emotions you are going through at the moment. Makes you wonder what programer thought of this silly scenario huh?”

Noah took a moment to look around the area that seemed like it was the setting of some epic Hollywood blockbuster movie rather than the video game. His body also felt a bit off. It was not as light and springy as it was normally. Perhaps the system has placed some sort of modifications on the players during this sort of event? That was when it dawned on him about how rude he was currently being.

“Oh! Where are my manners? I’m Noah Krane.”

@Das Ein Magia

Emil Trevelyan · May 4, 2018

Emil didn’t wear heavy armor.

Apparently, now he did.

He glanced from the gore covered sword in his dominant hand to the slain dragon before him and gave a smirk. He had killed that thing…or so his brain was telling him. So, he was a hero. He looked around, his one good eye glancing off into the darkness that shifted on the edges of the area. Where was his thunderous applause? Better yet, where was the booze he was promised? If he had had to slay this thing while sober—

And then there was another person crawling out of the twist of blood red entrails that had spilled from the lizard’s gut.

Fear not, fair…maiden? Emil blinked and took a step back, his good eye squinting at the figure in front of him. Was she even old enough to play this game?

…Uh, I have saved you! Yes, save you, from the fierce Dragon ravaging your lands. Might you bestow upon me your beautiful name?

@Lady N

Madison Freebird · May 4, 2018

Madison leaned heavily on her broadsword as a familiar face tumbled out of the gaping wound in the dragon's stomach. The witch's warrior's face immediately twisted in disgust.

There was @Sean Poteitoku, writing on the ground, covered in stomach acid, his fetching princess gown tattered and melting. His crimson locks were sticky and matted together from the dragon's digestive fluids.

And of course he was crying.

"Oh my god," Madison muttered to herself before tiredly reaching out with a gauntleted hand to help him to his feet. "Was this your choice? This your fetish? Being the damsel in distress?"

She eyeballed the dragon really quick, its guts hanging out all over the place. "...or vore?"

Aristides · May 4, 2018

Okay, so, maybe this was going to be more fun than your average speed-dating booth.

Aristides was breathing hard, looking over the corpse of a grand dragon that he had--apparently--just slayed. He wasn't sure. It might just be a fantasy within a fantasy. Still, he stood up to full height and approached the man who'd just emerged from the beast's stomach with a tired smile an an offered hand. They looked semi-digested and not too happy about it. Who would be? At least the dress was nice, if not a bit melted.

"Same here, actually. I wish I'd actually been able to fight it. That might have been fun."

If his hand was taken he would help the other person out from the dragon's guts.

"I'm Aristides. You...look a bit messy. You think they'd provide a towel, at least."

@Brant Dugal