Megathread - Terrasphere Speed Dating | Page 4

Rook the Quick · May 5, 2018

As Corvella wrapped herself in the sheet of scales, Rook stood back, tilting his head from side to side as if admiring his work. He stuck his sword hilt-up in the ground and took off his silly helmet to get a better look. Yes, this suited the lady knight much better—clad in the hide of her mighty foe, not some mostly-digested dress!

Still, the light-haired woman played the damsel in distress well, to her credit! Rook didn’t know what to make of it. “???” He cocked his head owlishly. Kingdoms? Doom? Was he St. George (St. Jordi, as he knew him) having rescued Corvella (the unlucky sacrifice?)

But what could she do for him? (He knew!) Rook was overjoyed for a moment at the prospect of a duel with the great Winged-Shield warrior, testing in battle what they had once shared in song. He looked down at his giant Final Fantasy sword, however, and had to reluctantly accept two people could not have a swordfight when they only had one sword.

He looked around himself for inspiration and saw a nearby freshly-killed dragon, magnificent and deadly. Its mouth was filled with fangs the length of his arm. Oh! That will do! Rook seemed to burst with energy suddenly and seized Corvella’s arm, dragging her to the dragon’s head and pointing insistently at the longest canines.

He wrapped his hands around one tooth and began to wrench at it, peeking over his shoulder expectantly at the woman like it should be obvious what he was doing and that she should help him.

@Corvella

Alphabet Chocolate · May 5, 2018

Guts, guts, and more guts. It was guts galore everywhere as Alpha eyed her gleaming broadsword and, from the mutilated carcass of Smaug the Desolate, crawled out the dress-wearing form of Ivan Carl. It was hard to decide on what should be more terrifying to her: the fact that there was the stench and sight of numerous internal organs for a gigantic creature; the fact that Ivan Carl had been indulging in habitual Rocky Horror Picture Show esque activities without telling her; the fact that the host wanted her to engage in romantic scenes with her son-in-all-but-blood; or the fact that the glass of complimentary alcohol supplied to her ended up being a mere placebo (she needed more than sparkling orange juice to get herself out of the scenario, gosh darn it!).

It was awkward to say the least. A silence permeated the atmosphere as Ivan uttered out a horrified: "Mom?"

With a groan, she slid to the ground and massaged her temple. "Ivy," Alpha started after a few more minutes of tension, voice practically cracking from strain. "I was supposed to be on a cruise ship with Benedict Cumberbatch or a twenty year old Johnny Depp!" she whined, throwing her hands up in the air.

And, settling into the disappointing reality which didn't quite meet her expectations, she shot a glare at Ivan. "And you! Why didn't you tell me you were interested in dating?! I was going to set you up with Corvy and you would've made cute little grandbabies for Mama Alpha! Oooh, you are so grounded, Ivy! For life!"

What kind of son didn't tell their mom that they were signing up for a speed dating event?! Alpha was certain she'd laid the ground rules with Ivan at some point or another during his early adolescence. "And there's alcohol here!" Alpha raised her voice, shaking the orange juice-filled cup in the air.

And she couldn't help but spit out something that she'd regret for years to come. "Do you really know who I was kissing that night you saw Santa Claus sneak into the kitchen?! Do you know how many nights I had to drug you to sleep when you were a kid so the magic of the Tooth Fairy could go on?! Do you know how many vampires I had to slay during Halloween so you could enjoy your Jawbreakers and Snickers? Do you know how much money I invested into unethical scientific procedures so someone could genetically engineer a Killer Rabbit to be hired as the Easter Bunny every year? You're innocent, Ivy, you're not old enough to pick dates or drink yet! You're still a kid!"

...

She paused. "Ivy," she rasped out. "New house rule: no more random dates. Mama Alpha's gotta background check and give all of your new beaus the shovel talk before you could even think about eloping to Antarctica!"

Despite the exasperation apparent on her face, her words were stern and brutally honest. All those girls and boys better think twice before they lay a hand on her baby boy, lest they find themselves on the business end of Mr. Shovel and Mrs. Shotgun.
@Iván Carl

Corvella · May 5, 2018

The supposed knight in front of her did not budge for a while. Maybe he did not know what she's implying? (Actually, she's the one that is very bad at flirting)

Not long after, Rook took her hand to lead her somewhere. Has he finally understood the meaning of speed dating? The answer to that question was very disappointing. Why is she pulling a dragon's tooth in a speed dating again?

Not having the usual strength that she has, it took several ungraceful punching, kicking, pushing and pulling to finally get the tooth of the dragon off. Now she looked more like a prehistoric barbarian rather than a princess of a castle. Thanks, Rook.

"Uh, I got the tooth. What are we doing with it?" She asked, swinging the long tooth in front of him.

@Rook the Quick

Iván Carl · May 5, 2018

Iván's eyes blinked incessantly as he simply stared at his mother mentor who went on a pretty long and somewhat hard to follow rant. She seemed genuinely upset, probably even disappointed, at him, at something he didn't really do. Or did he actually do it? Did his subconscious betray him? Had it risen up, out from under the dark tendrils of his consciousness, preparing a violent and vicious revenge to satiate its unsatiable hunger for justice? Probably not. Iván had no idea what Alpha was talking about.

"What are you talking about?" Unlike his traitorous subconscious, he rose. To his feet. All drenched in the entrails and fluids of the monster that his mother mentor had obliviously rescued him from. Or did she know he was in there, simply pretending to now know to teach him a lesson in faith and a mother's mentor's love? Probably not, though honestly, who'd know? Alpha was as hard to understand as most female specimens were. To Iván at least. "Johnny Depp is gross and cray cray. I don't want him to be my new dad! Doctor Holmes, however... He seems cool. He's not gonna summon a portal to Tertoria and leave me there just so he can have you all to himself, will he?"

Iván had never been to Tertoria. He would never want to be in Tertoria. Unless of course that bridge gets built as soon as possible. That place actually does seem interesting, excluding the part about them getting bullied around by some thousand-eyed tentacle monster for years and decades and millenia. Iván wasn't actually sure how long Tertoria's toxic relationship was with Titanius. He was never invited to that castle with all that info and stuff. What castle? He laughed to himself.

"Oh, Corvella? What about Corvella? Did she say anything to you? Babies are gross," Iván admired Corvella for being one of the toughest warriors he had ever met, but dating her and making babies with her?! Well, to be fair, Corvella was attractive. With her looks and his...donation, they would probably make cute babies. Hopefully, those babies would have faces.

"No, mother! I am of age! I can drink all the alcohol I want and drug as many Santa Tooth Bunnies as I want!" Wait, what? Whatever. Rebellion! "You can't make me stop being me! I am me! You will never understand me! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Iván furiously turned around, tears welling up in his eyes, and started to run away from his mother mentor, only to slip and fall flat on his face after two steps.

wat Iván stayed on the ground, pretending to have died. He would have liked it if the embarrassed could've killed him, but apparently it didn't. Such betrayal. Such shame. Such terrible choice for a dramatic running outfit.

@Alphabet Chocolate

Seigi · May 5, 2018

Seigi smiled in a way she hasn't smiled for a long time. In a way, Hanno reminded the fledging Hero of herself. Her old self. "Thanks!" Either way, she gladly accepted the beverage. Craved for it. Why did he get to have this stuff!?

"Heroic tendencies?" What did it even mean? She said it herself just moments ago but... "I kinda just told you! Guts and Effort. Don't think too much, JUST DO IT! Whatever comes first to mind is very likely the right thing to do! Even if others think it's impossible, I still gonna make it possible! Also, I believe that true strength isn't just being able to beat up bad guys and protect your friends, but rather, have the power to stop conflict without any sacrifices!" Seigi gave him a thumbs-up! "You said something about 'all other times being eaten'... just how often did you end up in the belly of a monster!?"

@Hanno Futaba

Brant Dugal · May 5, 2018

Well, Brant wasn't one to reject an offer from his..."date"? Companion? Yea, the second one sounded a little bit better. He carefully sat down and cross his legs next to them. He took another swig of his wine glass until none was left. He took a rock from the ground and idly began juggling it.

"Eh. I got the game from a letter with a flashdrive in it. As for why I joined at all well..."

He sat for a moment thinking about the best way to say it.

"I joined because I want to help people, I guess."

@Aristides

Comet · May 5, 2018

Rather than replying to her savior, Comet began spitting and coughing and groaning all at once. Her taste buds seemed to retreat in absolute disgust. Her eyes were glued shut by the insides of the dragon despite her mustering the strength to clear them to regain vision. Brave hands and a rad instinct had the young woman crawling from the dragon. Luck often fell into her arms. This time? Not so much.

She felt a bit embarrassed being a part of such a weak role. Not even knowing how anything happened meant no quick, made up excuses that would have her seen as some sort of hero like the woman before her. A familiar one, at least. "It's been a while." she commented, taking Kaede's hand with her own dirtied one, wobbling on unease legs. "Fair Maiden is more of exaggerated title." Comet chuckled though nervousness shined upon the pink-haired woman covered in unrecognizable yet obvious stains.

@Kaede Hoshi

Kaede Hoshi · May 5, 2018

Looking over the girl Kaede could only sigh lightly, removing some of her armor to try and find so cloth to rip off and gently moved to help clean the girl's face. Sure it was odd, and likely would make someone nervous since Kaede went the extra effort to move in close to make sure she was cleaning the spots up perfectly. Once she felt Comet's face was as cleaned as they could get it she would smile.

"I can help clean more of you, but i don't think I have enough cloths on to do such without leaving myself exposed or at the least only in armor.~"

Kaede smiled as she seriously seemed to be considering the idea, or at least one of the two she had mentioned. It was fun, the slight chance to have some humor in her week was great, then ad in she got to tease someone she could say she knew well enough not to slap her senseless or worse call her a pervert.

@Comet

Rook the Quick · May 6, 2018

Like the finest dentist, Corvella reached into the dragon’s maw and plucked from its gums the fearsome fang! Rook held the mouth open with his arms stretched high over his head to make it easier, bouncing on the beast’s forked tongue (still warm from life and flame) while the woman wrenched the canine loose.

Letting the jaws fall closed again with a wet fwump, breaking off another tooth as he went, Rook jumped down and waved his arms to celebrate Corvella’s victory!

What were they doing? They were going to battle, of course! Rook shook his dragon-fang (it was a little slippery—weep) but decided to press on nonetheless! Who knew how much time they had? His little Quick heart beat in running-time. This was SPEED dating, after all, and SPEED was key!

TO FIGHT! TO CLASH! TO— a drink? Rook stopped while raising his new weapon to blink in surprise as a new person appeared with a cocktail glass in their hand, offering a tropical beverage to Corvella. “!!!” Rook pointed at the intruder angrily, making an indignant sound. They were interrupting! And it didn’t suit the ROMANTIC mood!

@Corvella

Madison Freebird · May 5, 2018

Maddy's eyebrows arched as @Sean Poteitoku blew up at her, the alcohol quickly taking hold of his brain and tongue, telling them both to have the night off.

What is he, thirteen?! Drunk that quick off that little?!

The woman stuck the tip of her broadsword into the ground and leaned on it for support. "Who am I to make assumptions like that? Someone who's done her fair share of firin' up incognito windows and browsing the weirdest corners of tumblr only to log out disappointed after an hour, that's who."

Madison's frown only deepened from there, turning into a borderline scowl.

She waved a gauntlet in his direction. "You're already a mess, and you've still got a bunch of other dates to slog through. I'd help you sober up with some detox plants, but for some reason all my shit got changed to Slash. And cutting the dragon's liver out to shove into your body isn't going to work."

Hanno Futaba · May 5, 2018

He pondered for a few seconds, it wasn't hard to count how many times he became food. "Well, on my first day I almost became wolves food when saving a good friend of mine from being eaten. I also was almost digested in Titanus's belly... And I guess the last time that it happened was when I had to fight and kill a gargantuan worm that I found when doing some work to the construction of an aqueduct." The Faerin nodded, it was just that... Which weirdly basically meant almost all the times he got close to die was because something was trying to eat him.

"By the way, I like the way you think... I will work harder and harder to become so strong that I will be able to protect everyone without anyone get hurt- Well, except for the person that is causing the problem." Hanno raised the glass with alcohol and turned his back to Seigi, revealing that his gown was completely digested from behind and it left his butt completely naked, though luckily there was a super convinient bright light that was censoring the awkward view. He raised the glass of alcohol (That seemed to never get empty, no matter how much you drank) yelling: "A CHEER FOR SEIGI'S GUTS AND EFFORT! HOOORAY!"

@Seigi

Corvella · May 5, 2018

Really? Are they going into a battle? Like, right now? She's only wearing convenient cloths and a fresh dragon hide into a battle, hands on a dragon tooth against a knight with full-on armor. Why are they fighting in a speed dating anyway? Is this even romantic? Then she stopped asking and start fighting.

Looks like the waving attracted the host to teleport in and bring her a drink. Good timing, she was getting thirsty by the moment. Corvella looked at Rook, which was still somehow offended by the host's teleport in and teleport out, a glass of cocktail now in her left hand. "You want a drink, Rook?" She then pointed with the dragon tooth. If he wants a battle, he will get one. "You'll have to fight me for it."

She suddenly strikes with the dragon tooth, the glass of cocktail still elegantly held in her left hand. There's no mastery to help her, resulting in a clumsy attempt at a point attack. But there's the Illustrous Convenient Censorship to make the sheet of dragon hide to conveniently stick and stay on some parts of her body to cover the unmentionables.

@Rook the Quick

Rook the Quick · May 5, 2018

A crestfallen Rook sagged as the host disappeared again with a poof of rushing air. He couldn't even bring himself to be interested in how she'd done it-- she'd spoiled their fight, right when they were about to start! Boooo! Rook poked the ground sulkily with the tip of his dragon fang, looking up and blinking at the sound of his name.

Oh, but he'd underestimated Corvella's fighting spirit!

Like firewood finally catching flame, Rook brightened. The tooth in his hand rose and wagged like a dog's tail as a rush of relief and gratitude surged through him. Yes! Yes! (Also, he actually was thirsty-- you'd be surprised how dehydrated someone as active as the little swordsman could get.)

The weapon in his hand sprung up and batted the tip of Corvella's fang aside, parrying it with a flick of the wrist. There was a loud clatter of metal plates clashing together as Rook leaped into the air, literally jumping for joy. Making his counterattack, Rook thrust the canine towards the damsel's chest, aiming to draw first blood.

Instead, however, the point of the tooth clattered off the dragon scales conveniently clinging to Corvella's body in all the necessary places, a formidable armor in its own right. What?! He ended up just poking her breast harmlessly and quickly pulled the fang back, looking puzzled and a little flustered. He danced back, alarmed. "!!!" It was unclear whether this was an exclamation of apology or annoyance.

@Corvella

Sean Poteitoku · May 5, 2018

The affects of the alcohol present, Sean just wanted to go to sleep. Listening to his "date" talk about the weirdness she's seen on the internet just makes him internally laugh. I've seen weirder. Bored, he just fell onto the floor on his back. "I'm gon bed. Night." He closed his eyes and fell asleep almost immediately.

@Madison Freebird

Seigi · May 5, 2018

Apparently, Hanno made it a past-time hobby to get eaten! "You fought Titanius, too?" Had she seen him? Seigi couldn't quite recall, by the time she finished fighting the core the orange-hair was dropped into some creepy darkness thing.

Either way, it totally seemed like Hanno understood her! The whole protecting everyone deal. It was then that, instead, he decided to portray his shiny butt to the heroine! The whole censorship made it feel far-far less awkward. In fact, Seigi felt comfortable enough to join his cheer. "GUTS AND EFFORT! HOO!" She joined beside him as she raised her beverage, too!

"That said, the whole dating thing." The orange-hair blushed a bit as she looked into her drink. "I'm here for the free stuff and to, urm, encourage you! Yes." Seigi nodded, more for herself than to him. "I believe in TRUE LOVE. You know, my heart going doki doki at first glance! But I'm sure your princess is in another castle!" 'Doki Doki'? 'Princess in another castle'? Just what the hell was Seigi talking about!? Maybe the alcohol already started getting to the closet weeb.

@Hanno Futaba