He still was meaning it as a joke? Ilya had sworn that he had actually meant what he said, the tone of the voice he used had seemed exceptionally serious. It was not like she could help herself, "Do you ever get insecure? As if you are not who you want to be, and you know with a certainty that others do not view you how you want to be viewed.. Like how you start over-thinking everything when you get into the specific mind-state.. Where you are easily-discouraged and unhappy with everything. When all this doubt fills your mind, like maybe you really are not good enough to chase after your dreams and aspirations. Like you are what everyone chants at you.. Saying that you can't do it. That you are just an annoying little shit?" Ilya did not know what had ovetaken her to speak her thoughts and feelings just like that, but she rather spoke them towards the crumbled wall than to the golden haired "king". It seemed as if he were indeed better than her, yet she knew he probably did not think so.. Or maybe he does... Here in Terrasphere she had hoped to become a better person than Emilia. Despite being handed everything in her life she wanted to put in real effort. Hard work and labor.. Maybe I put in effort from the beginning... Ilya was shrouded in what she thought was handed down success, but she did put effort in in the real world.. Maybe she just did not think of it as effort.. I want to build my own fame up from nothing.. I do not want to be inherited to wealth and status.. But it had not taken Ilya to remember that here she could do effort... Maybe someone like Zelrius can make me feel bad about myself.. But that just means I need to push harder.
He reached a hand out, an attempt to calm her, but was stopped short by getting a buzzilion questions, most of which hit way too close to home for him. He listened for a second, wide eyed and trying to understand why it was she was asking. For a moment, he thought she was making fun of him about himself, before he quickly realized that she was talking about herself. Another step toward her, his voice low and laced with bits of sadness. "Yes, I feel like that all the time. Like I am never good enough to be near people or do my own things. Though, things are a bit different here in Terra for me. I know what I need to do to succeed here; it all makes perfect sense in this game, so the discouragement is harder to come by. But back in Boston, I often feel like I have no control of anything. And that I am just a burden on my family..." He stopped there, only wanting to illustrate that he agreed with what she was saying, while trying to avoid two things; One, going into too much detail, and two, getting off the subject. "You're not annoying, Ilya." He added trying to hide the shake of sadness in his voice. "I was only teasing, because you make it so easy." He tried to throw that bit of a joke in there to lighten the mood just a tad. In a way, the golden haired man sympathized with her on the effort thing. As he said, he felt he had more control over the world around him here in Terra, like unseen things didn't and couldn't escape him if he didn't let them, unlike real life. So, he drove for perfection, quickly mastering his Slashing skill after having just started playing, and striving to win the attention of Princess D'Vangelline. It was always a struggle to do better in his mind, because he never felt like he was quite good enough. He continued to try to comfort her. "You're a little mischievous, but its entertaining, really. I wouldn't have messaged you in the middle of the day if I didn't want to have you around, right?"
Hearing Zelrius speak his own life, she realized how insecure he really must have felt this whole time. "At least you still have a family.." Ilya's own thoughts caused her to spiral, "My parents both died. The same time. They left behind this huge legacy that I have to fulfill.. Yet I can't.." Ilya felt tears build up in her eyes, yet she set up a barrier for herself, refusing to let the self-built dam fall so that she could appear even weaker. Ilya's own mind was hazed over, "I cannot even build a new name for myself here. My whole life is shadowed over by lies... Having comfort guaranteed but when I try to move forward I cannot.. I should be fine, but my life I fight for every day is not mine at all.. You are lucky in that aspect. You can be someone here.. You can be you. A new you if you wanted to be. But I seem to keep failing." Ilya shuffled with the ground as he continued to speak on about how she was not annoying. "Yeah, and you sure do get a reaction out of me.. You act just like this one guy..." Ilya's thoughts went from Terrasphere to Ray.. The man she had become friends with in the real world. "But never mind about that... How can I not be annoying?" Mischievous.. The word echoed in the mind of poor Ilya, climbing onto the tip of her tongue, "What does that mean..?"
He took a step back now, a grimace forming on his face as she went into detail about her own family situation. It certainly wasn't what he wanted out of inviting her out today, and while it wasn't that he didn't like learning more about the people he knew, it just also wasn't the kind of mood he wanted out of this conversation. More than anything he just wanted to hug her, but to him, that was weird for a number of reasons, and he was too unsure of himself to try to be comforting like that at all. So instead, he just tried to continue to talk her up in mood. "I wouldn't call my situation Lucky." He thought back to the woman he loved. Used to love, unable to give that to her anymore, for she had long passed away. That thought caused him to instinctively pull down his sleeves with his wrists bent, an attempt to hide his arms despite no reason to do so in the world of Terrasphere. "Hey now," another attempt at lightening the mood "You're the one who prodded me with 'stripping' just to get a reaction." It was true enough; she was the one who started this game of reactionary cat and mouse. "What do you mean how can you not be annoying? You're not annoying, you've been nothing but sweet to me, and you're enjoyable to be around. Atleast when you aren't being grumpy from time to time." That was him telling himself those things as much as it was him telling her. It was true enough, she had bought the food for him even when he didn't do it himself, back in the Inn, and then had listened to his plan when fighting Mudeflester. He'd use that as a way of avoiding her final question.
"You still have not answered my last question... What does that mean? By Mischievous?" Ilya felt guarded for an unknown reason, her own mind moving away from the depressive state she had been in, slowly yet surely. Her own thoughts were now flooded with the thoughts of what he meant. Is that meant as a negative comment? I cannot tell.. Ilya was putting her foot down in being stubborn. "When am I grumpy...." Ilya smirked to herself, she could be very grumpy for him if she wanted to.. Yeah I have my days... But still.. Her own words confirming that sometimes she seemed to be grumpy had been rather for herself than for Zelrius. The sound coming from her lips being nothing but soft spoken and quiet before she focused on what Zelrius would say to her repeating her question. All in all, the meeting with Zelrius had not gone over how she had expected. But then again, what did she expect? I was surprised enough that he thought to message me.. Let alone want to meet up.. But that was when a second thought struck.. Earlier.. He stayed on the topic of the festival.. Why? Was he too drunk to have recognized that it was me who had helped him in the maze? Her own suspicions filled her mind.
"Ah, well," He stopped and whispered to himself some things, trying again to avoid the question. Because to be honest, even he didn't know what he meant, he was just saying things to try and comfort her, and now the man realized how dumb that was that he did that, instead of just saying things he actually understood to brighten her mood. No, as always, the golden haired man was good at making things ridiculously hard for himself for no reason other than an attempt at being overly lazy. So once again he completely skipped over it, moving on. "Yes, when you're a grumpy kitty. Makes me just wanna pet you and tell you its okay." That was both true, and a joke, a way of trying to get another reaction out of her.
"No matter how many times you try to ignore the question, I will not stop asking. I can be persistent.. And who knows, you can always pet me." Ilya turned around to face Zelrius at last, her eyes holding sadness, yet they sparkled with a little bit of joy. Ilya winked after playing around with his own joke. "You do not need to wait for me to become grumpy to do so." Ilya 'pawed' lightly into the air, her kitty ears perking up lightly and her tail flicking behind her as she started to slowly walk towards Zelrius. Being only five foot, three inches in game, it looked silly as this tiny felis playfully headed towards the six foot giant. Ilya smiled lightly, her eyes becoming the "kitty" eyes that he had mentioned quite prior to their current conversation. She was now right in front of him, when the specific sound (or word) sounded. "Meeoww~~" Ilya closed her eyes in a cute smile.
And even with her words, he made no comment, rather deal with the social awkwardness of being quiet, than the even more awkward situation of explaining that he just said a bunch of shit in an attempt to make her feel better and divert the situation. But the last part of her comment made him both uncomfortable, and semi happy. It was true, he had always wanted to legitimately pet a felis, wondering if it was at all like petting a cat, and then wondering, if for them, it was as enjoyable as it was for real cats. And then she started doing a little cat act, causing him to stifle a laugh, before it bursting out and his laughing filling to air. The little meow she have and the face she made were both comical and enticing, reaching a hand up to gently flick one of her ears, his way of saying to back up a bit. "Fine, you win," He said after catching his breath, falling victim to the 'Kitty eyes' she gave him. "That. Is mischeivous. You're both playful, and have slightly devious intent, you said it yourself. Poking fun and teasing is way too fun."
Ilya's ear flicked at the touch, noting how it actually felt enjoyable, as if someone were scratching her back. Pleasure rippled through her spine, her tail stilling from the flicking it had been participating in prior to the small flick. Just from a small flick? Ilya now new two new weaknesses she would have. On top of falling for yarn balls, ribbons and bows of all sorts, Ilya's ears and tail were sensitive. It could either prove to be good, annoying or bad for Ilya. However, Zerlius' laugh was contagious as she found herself giggling lightly, "I always win." She sounded quite serious as her expression turned from laughter to seriousity. (Made up word) . "Ahh, so that is what you mean... Hmm..." Ilya grinned at Zelrius, "In which case, I take it as a compliment!" With her smile and their laughter the mood had changed completely, Ilya was now excitedly happy and so was the mood around the two of the players. "Annyywayysss.. What now?"
He watched her reaction to his gentle flick, and instantly her whole demeanor changed. It was something that he wanted to test, and now it was something he'd definitely keep noted. Felii often got headsy, they were known to get out of hand and challenging, and now the golden haired man knew a weakness of theirs, one he would need to exploit to get things out of them in the future. His own darker agenda aside, he smiled now, glad that the awkwardness was over and that the crimson haired felis in front of him seemed to be in a much better mood. "Well, as I said earlier. You were the one from the maze, right? How about you come up with some way, for me to make it up to you for my antics while I was absolutely shitfaced, hmm?"
Ilya nodded her head, "The only thing I can think of is not just getting up and leaving. Do not abandon me, I view you as a friend of mine, and if you were to leave..." Ilya definitely had one of her first friends in forever. She did not want to loose their relationship. Ilya thought of what they could do next, "We are still in the alleyway.." Her retort was rather obvious, "Anywhere you want to go? or anything you want to do? Perhaps grab a bite to eat? Not that I am hungry.. Or something of the sort?" Ilya was not sure what to do now, they had spoken quite a bit.. But was their conversation and meeting over? I sure hope not.. I am actually having fun...
Zelrius tilted his head up and put a finger on his chin in thought. As much as she didn't want the meeting to end, the golden haired man didn't either. So, he quickly spat an idea out, just capitalizing off of what the Felis herself suggested. "Hm, How about we take a stroll back to the town square and find a vendor selling something to eat? Even if you aren't that hungry, its always good to stock up." It was true enough, never knew what kind of situation one would find themselves in where they might be out of food.
A soft smile erupted across the face of a certain felis as the specific golden haired man mentioned them going for a stroll to get something to eat, "Awe, are you asking me to go on a date with you?" The felis winked at the man before assertedly reaching forward and grabbing his hand in hers. The sizes of the hands seemed all too real. Ilya, the felis had a rather tiny hand in comparison to the larger hand of the golden haired human, Zelrius. It had not taken long before Ilya started to lead Zelrius out of the allyway, refusing to let go of his hand, and not letting him let go himself. "This is so I will not loose you." As the felis spoke, she held up their hands. The scent of food wafted towards them as they neared the town square, the buzz of excitement returning, which caused the felis' ears to prick up, letting in the enjoyable murmurs and laughs echo through her.
"No, ehm, I didn't-" Too late, she already gave the small single-eye blink and then reached for his hand. He tried quickly to pull away but was too little too late, now not wanting to insult her by pulling his hand away again. It wasn't that he had anything against her, its just not something he expected, nor wanted out of the day. It just kept going on and on with more and more surprises. The crimson-haired felis explained her reasoning, one that Zelrius would tell himself as well as to avoid literally any other reasoning, the one she gave seeming perfectly logical in his head. With that he followed her lead through the stone streets into the town square, where people now hustled all about, filling the street and square from end to end. Vendors rang their bells and shouted, or traded hand in goods for a gold piece or two here and there. It was the literal epitome of any Fantasy game ever, and the man was absolutely loving it. He leaned toward Ilya to whisper so that she could hear him. "You pick what stuff we should get. Breads, Meats, Fruits, Veggies. Whatever. I will pay for it all." He smiled, stealing a glance of his gold balance knowing full well that he was more than capable of paying for it.
The gold bar on Ilya's end seemed to shout out at her, "I also have quite enough funds to pay for things if you want me to... But I choose... Meats and... Breads! Also, a drink would be nice..." Her hand clenched Zelrius' a little bit harder as people started to weave in and out around her. At one point, someone nudged past her, pushing her in the process. Falling to the right, Ilya was now hobbling on one leg. She hissed out at the man who had done so, "At least say sorry!". The man spit at Ilya, "Shut up, cat." The man most definitely meant it in a derogatory manner as he put emphasis on the word 'cat', before continuing on his way. The cloak on the man's head seemed to flutter lightly, revealing two long and pointy ears. Ilya's ears pinned to her head as she continued to stumble. All it took was for another person to barge past her, for her to loose her balance completely, falling towards Zelrius.
