Workaholics Anonymous [Lyre Court #1]

Workaholics Anonymous

Welcome to today's Workaholics Anonymous intervention! Our group will be dedicated to stop certain personages (@Asch) from dying of exertion and to calculate current stock prices to maximize capitalistic corruption in various states. Our goal for the day would be to convince Asch that he is, indeed, a textbook-case workaholic and must be stopped at all costs.

Everyone is free to come and go as they please (except Asch) and everyone can pitch in ideas and a few words of their choosing. Let this meeting commence!

Notable Roles:
Civilians - Unlimited
Anyone who wants to participate in sharing witness testimonies, opinions, etc...

Jury - 12 slots
The final decision will be up to them.

Defense Attorney - 1 slot
They will protect the defendant's case.

Defendant - 1 slot
Whom is being prosecuted.

Prosecutor - 1 slot
They will attack the defendant's case.

Court Jester - 1 slot
The comic relief.

Judge - 1 slot
They have the power to cross-examine evidence and present points to the case.​

 

Our Jury:

@Vale - Super High School Level Detective
@Theorigin - Super High School Level Grave Robber
@Spirit - Super High School Level Edge Lord
@Ashtver - Super High School Level Cannibal
@Juneberry - Super High School Level Pollyanna
@Izzy - Super High School Level Pablo Picasso
@Aura - Super High School Level Final Fantasy eSports Gamer
@Korraquinn - Super High School Level Female Body Enthusiast
@Osu - Super High School Level Ohio State University Graduate
@Zero - Super High School Level Drakengard Roleplayer
@Palmtop Taiga - Super High School Level Island Forest Biome
@Akeno - Super High School Level Weeaboo

Super High School Level Defense Attorney:

@Human Resources

Super High School Level Workaholic:

@Asch

Super High School Level Prosecutor:

@Lyre

Super High School Level Court Jester:

@Snide

Super High School Level Judicial Authority:

@Pandora

 

Witnesses

Our Jury will be making the final decision on this case. All witnesses who have seen Asch's workaholicism may now step forward and present their testimony.

Note: Jury members and the defendant may participate in the witness testimony section but may be cross-examined by the Judge @Pandora. ​

 

Note: We have been sent an anonymous report.

Settlement Proposal

Rather than accuse the defendant outright, I would like to first offer a chance at a settlement with the defendant's Defense Attorney so that we may bring this case to a close without undue action or unjust cause.

I would like to bring the first of possible proposals to the table. I suggest we consider, seriously and heavily, the options we face. In my expert opinion as a recovering workaholic of the medical variety, I believe that mailing glitterbombs to his place of work, study, and rest could help upset his workflow and break his habit cold turkey. This could cure him and the cleaning of it serve as community service in the face of the stress his workaholic nature has brought out in the witnesses who have suffered such a sight.

After all, how can anyone do decent work when everything is covered in glitter? It's simply not sensible, professional, or mature. All traits of a compulsive workaholic.​

 

F-F-F-Facepalm Combo x3!!!

​

Sound of facepalming.

Your name is Lyre. You have just been given your juris doctor and you're on your first case. You deeply regret your life actions now. "Sir?" you bemoan, wondering what sort of fool's court you have joined into. "Please sit down, you're the court jester..."

And, as if it's an afterthought, you say: "I'll buy a vowel, please. E. I have a quarter cent for the vending machine outside."​

 

Witness Testimony

​

Cough. Ahem.

Your stoic face is highlighted by the strings of light which fluttered in the room. You are ready to give your testimony and answer the jury's questions. "Yes yes no no yes no no no no no yes yes no yes yes yes no no no yes no yes no no no yes no yes yes yes yes no no no yes," you describe to @Theorigin. A very detailed account of the horrors you've seen that day in the barbershop. You shiver at the reminder of the cult and the donkey head.

And then, as if remembering it as an afterthought, you finish with a word which struck silence and horror in the courtroom. "Maybe."

 

The Defense calls for recess

​

 

Lyre has fainted!

Congratulations!
HR has gained 373 EXP!
HR has leveled up!
HR can learn NEVER-ENDING NIGHTMARE! Forget a move?
Lyre's stone-cold body flinches.

SP ATK. 500 >>> 501
SP DEF. 1000 >>> 999
​