Jayden Heartly Idly standing by, Jayden leaned against the marble wall of a what he assumed was a tavern. He looked out through the morning guise as Adventurers piled out into the streets and on their way to the Dungeon. His eyes followed them enviously, passionately even. The blazing inner desire that he held to be among them was innervating to the body, but destructive to the mind. Smiling Jack at the hip, covered by his large coat that he kept adorned on his shoulders. Generally Jayden preferred to leave his arms out of the sleeves in the case of a freak need to initiate combat, the moment he might need attending to disarming his coat was more than likely a crucial one. His lip quivered as they all passed. Each with a Familia to belong to and comrades who stick to their side. Gear polished and preened to the finest quality and the worth of valis at its tip. Jayden gulped, blinking awestruck. He kept a hand on Smiling Jack out of necessity to feel the worth of his own things on him, something akin to possessive envy. Though to him, twas not the weapons nor the armor that made him so jealous. His psychological greenery stemmed from the other half of the equation, so to speak. A Familia. Blessings of the Gods to go forth and strike down monsters in their names, fight upon the mightiest in the War Games and become the greatest hero one might be able to become. Jayden faced that issue daily. The moment he woke up alone in a small cot laced with mediocre linen, made a small breakfast and set out doing odd jobs around the Entertainment District, usually acting as a server in local taverns at evenings. His feminine charm (which he heavily despises) works in his favor when attending to some of those kind of folk. Though all he wanted to do was venture down into the Dungeon. He wanted to slay monsters, he wanted to understand what it was like to be heroic and fight alongside other heroes. He wanted to know what it would be like to call those heroes his friends. He wanted to be revered and praised and understood for amazing feats of bravery and virtue. Jayden wanted so much but could only do so little. The daily heartache set in. He unsheathed his blade and turned into the alley a few feet from his, now blindly swinging his sword at the stone wall. Once, twice, thrice. He wildly swung his blade at it, seeing the stone slowly ship away as his blade slashed and crashed into it at different angles, causing scratch marks and bits of missing stone to appear upon the wall. After five or six more swings, he found himself mentally and somewhat physically exhausted. More so the first, the second was simply bi-produced by the first. He stuck his blade into the soil at his feet and planted his back to the wall, slumping quietly. His breathing was ragged and distraught, his teeth pressed to one another in a mixed boiling of anger and confusion. Why was it so difficult to just ask? Fear of non-acceptance? Inability to believe someone would openly advertise such childish dreams? Jayden could not come to an absolute conclusion of his agony, but knew it stemmed from within him and no one else. That was all. He ran his fist into the ground once more out of pure frustration, several Adventurers awkwardly peering into the alleyway to see what the was the matter, but promptly attending to their own groups needs moments after, ignoring Jayden's plight. @Lavian
